How to Get Out of the Friend Zone and Use it to Your Advantage

By JT Tran

We’ve All Been There…

You’re chatting with a gorgeous girl. Everything is going well. She’s laughing, you guys are connecting, and it seems like it’s ON. You’re in the A-Phase, or maybe you’ve moved on to the B-Phase.

Suddenly, you say or do something that makes her realize that you’re interested in her as more than just a friend… Of course, she’s already being friendly with you, so she’s not going to be a total bitch and blow you off all of the sudden. Instead, out of pity, she’ll gently let you down… Welcome to the “friend zone.”

Maybe you guys will go on to become very close, or maybe you’ll just remain casual acquaintances. Either way, you’re NEVER going to get out of that dreaded “friend zone,” and you’ll certainly never have sex with this girl. This is something that we ALL want to avoid because there is little to no chance of rectifying this problem.

Why Were You Put in the “Friend Zone”?

You were put in the friend zone for several reasons… And yes, it’s all YOUR FAULT.

Don’t feel bad; all that this means is that preventing getting categorized this way in the first place is COMPLETELY within your control and you can easily avoid it!

You were put in the friend zone because:

1. She doesn’t see you as a sexual creature. She’s close to you, but in a way that she just can’t imagine having sex with you. Don’t get what this means? Imagine having sex with your sister… Yeah, pretty gross, isn’t it? It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like or enjoy you, it just means that you don’t have the capacity to come across as sexual in her mind.

2. You didn’t make your intentions clear. If you’ve been pussy-footing around the fact that you’re attracted to her, you’re almost guaranteed to be put in the friend zone. This is because you at first don’t seem to have any agenda, and then it turns out that you have a HIDDEN agenda. This will not get you laid. It comes across as weird. While it is not uncommon to just get completely blown out for doing this, there is a chance that she’ll give you the benefit of the doubt… Welcome to the friend zone.

3. Your game wasn’t tight. The third and final possibility is that you just screwed up somewhere along the line. You didn’t hit the “fuckable line.” The fuckable line is an imaginary line that marks a girl’s attraction to you. If you’re above the line, she’ll fuck you. Simple as that. If your game isn’t tight for whatever reason, you’re just never going to hit that fuckable line. No amount of bribes, negs, overcompensation, or time is going to change that.

If you’re tired of having girls in your life that just think of you as a dorky little brother, read on… 

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

The best way to “get out of” the friend zone is to prevent yourself from getting put in that hole (no pun intended) in the first place. In fact, the ONLY way to actually GET OUT of it once you’re already in it is to avoid the girl for a long time (think six months, at minimum), then come back into her life as a COMPLETELY different person.

Sound like too much work? That’s because it is. Check out these 3 simple steps to avoid getting put in the friend zone in the first place.

1. Sexualize yourself. Depending on your race, fashion, lifestyle, mannerisms, and more, women may automatically categorize you as somebody that they would never sleep with. This is COMPLETELY within your control.

Fashion: Stop wearing baggy shit that makes you look like a lazy bum. Wear fitted pants, fitted shirts, and other accessories that portray yourself as a put-together man. Get rid of your shaggy haircut and get something trendy and sexy. It’s not hard at all, and it can make a whole world of difference. No girl wants to sleep with a guy who looks like he just rolled out of bed and grabbed his older brother’s hand-me-downs off the floor.

Race: There are certain races that women tend to view as asexual. Most frequently (and unfortunately), this is Asians. Besides being influenced by popular media, women asexualize Asian men because Asians tend to be effeminate, passive, tame. BREAK THE MOLD. DON’T conform to these negative stereotypes. It will blow her mind. When it comes down to it, women are largely flexible when it comes to the race of men they will sleep with, AS LONG AS he actually carries himself like a dominant, confident, sexy man.


Lifestyle: Quit your job at Burger King… It’s not going to get you laid. Instead, do something badass and exciting, like performing music, running your own business, acting, or something equally as interesting and high-value. If you can’t quit your job for something like this, then take it up as a hobby and passion. Having a career that makes it look like you don’t put forth any effort in life isn’t going to make her want to put effort into you.

Mannerisms: If your mannerisms are submissive, apologetic, passive, etc, it will do nothing but turn a woman off. Stand up straight and tall, first of all. Study the mannerisms and body language of the most alpha of males. See how they walk with confidence and carry themselves like the bosses of the room. If you ACT like a boss, you will BE a boss.

2. D Phase.  D is for Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualify. These are the bread and butter of what will keep you out of the friend zone. Learn your D-phase, and you will never face the friend zone ever again… No, seriously. Like, ever. We have an entire article on that here.

3. Fix your game. There’s always the option to read endless self-help books and stumble over their tips until you get something right, but what if you never figure out what you’ve done incorrectly? Sometimes you just need the opinion of an outsider who can examine your game and point to where you need improvement. The only way to really do this is to take a boot camp. 

How To Use The “Friend Zone” To Your Benefit

 As unlikely as it might sound, you can actually use the friend zone to your benefit… How? By using it to build what some guys like to call an APPLE TREE.

You never want to be put in the friend zone… Instead, you want to be the one to friend zone the girl! It may sound absolutely crazy, but putting a girl in the friend zone is one of the best things you can do for your sex life.

How do you friend zone a girl? Simple: just don’t sexually escalate on her, and politely decline if she tries to sexually escalate on you. Instead of sleeping with her, just make her your friend.

Why do you do this? She is now an APPLE TREE. Apple trees are girls that have hot friends (AKA  apples). If you have sex with a girl that you put in the friend zone, it’s like cutting down that tree; you won’t get any more apples from her. Instead, just nurture that relationship and let it grow. You will be rewarded in dividends for your patience.

Have fun, stay out of the friend zone, and go plant some apple trees.

If you try all of this and still can’t figure out what went wrong or why you’ve been put in the friend zone yet again, then try one of our boot camps and we’ll kick your ass into dating shape.