Well, Well, Well! Back again with another edition of your favorite globe-trotting article series: Where to Pick Up Girls!
We’ve been getting some quite interesting attention for this series and, since we’ve just come back from one of the most beautiful places in the world, (Sydney, Australia) we find the notion of not giving you a full run-down of the places and people, OUTRAGEOUS!
With that in mind, I present to you the most down-under article I’ve written today:
Where to Pick Up Girls: Sydney, Australia
PROMOTER TIP: Here’s one tip that will instantly make your Sydney sarging that much easier. One thing we noticed is that, unlike London or New York City, there are no “Guest Lists” or Promoters like Hollywood. Instead, they usually had some sort of club card membership. A membership that you could easily get for $20. You won’t have to deal with waiting in line or being denied entry.
The Argyle (18 Argyle St, The Rocks): Free door including the beautiful doorgirl, Mel. It’s a two-story classy sort of after work joint with a large (huge) outdoor patio that was packed in winter with mid-twenties, early-thirties. Like many bars in Sydney, there was a huge variety of people here and would certainly entertain most all particulars.
Though, because of the variety, there were only select numbers of each (tall, skinny blondes or petite brunettes, etc). The patio was jam-packed by 10 and included an outdoor bar. Inside was, essentially, a restaurant that served food with tons of seats (for whether or not you were eating) and benches to sit down and guzzle beer with your buddies at. A long bar flanked the room and the stairway in the middle lead to the upstairs bar with a great view of the DJ and downstairs, as well as a few more isolated seating areas and a dancefloor.
The girls were receptive and everyone was very social. Downstairs and outside were the best places to open because of the low volume of the music, but the upstairs represented the typical high-energy club atmosphere. Good place to go for warming up or generating a social circle. No dress code.
ALCOHOL TIP: If you’re used to the quality of alcohol in the US, then you’ll be surprised at how watered down Australian beers, wines, and liquors are. Just pre-party at your hotel and don’t bother trying to get buzzed or wasted at the venue. You’ll end up spending over $100AUD just even trying.
MUM at The World Bar (24 Baywater St, Kings Cross): $10/door. Young Indie Party. DJs in main dance room that was packed by 10pm. Main bar was impossible to get to, but passing through a long hallway to the second bar and band-area was much more pleasant. Bar was easy and people were super-polite, opening was very easy and the indie girls were very open and responsive.
Dress code is casual hipster, but get there early because the line was immense at midnight. Cheap drinks, but the band area is loud (unless you happen to luck into a few mellow bands, like we did). Most of the seats were taken in both areas, but the patio was large and had many outside tables. Again, get there early for real estate. All bars in Sydney are 18+.
The Gaff (16-18 Oxford Square, Darlinghurst Syndney): This is the fun, sexy version of Sydney’s Saddle Ranch. Has nothing but hot blond bartenders and go-go dancers in cowgirl outfits. Wet t-shirt contests for guys and girls. Sexually charged. Easily a 25% chance increase in makeout/lay by simply walking in and being aggressive.
No C-Phase, just D-Phase. Lots of expats and backpackers. Two stories, decently big, and smoking patio. Makeouts everywhere and oozing with raunchy abandon. One of us, literally, had a 2 hour liplock session with a 6″1 Brazillian blonde within minutes. Not for the weak of heart if you have problems with Approach Anxiety and Sexual Anxiety.
- Hugos (33 Bayswater Rd, King’s Cross): Linear, but spacious. Classier, very ADD. Has a “hair” code.
- Trademark (1 Bayswater Rd, Potts Point Sydney): Bigger club dance area. So-so quality. Might do bottle service.
- Cargo Bar (21 Lime St, Sydney): Big outdoor patio. Lots of mixed sets. Upper area requires membership ID.
Ivy (320 George St, Sydney): Ivy is a classy establishment with a million different areas divided within. This was a typical high-energy club with extremely attractive women that were, for the type of venue, very approachable. Run your standard club game and you’ll do well.
Exclusive dress code and exclusive guest list. You have to know someone to get in. We were whisked in the back entrance and up to one of the tables that started as a restaurant portion, but when the glass doors between the packed dancefloor/bar-area were slid back, the two areas merged and suddenly we were in an ultralounge. Extremely expensive drinks and TOUGH AMOGS.
Bring your best B.I.T method, because the men are mostly big, Australian jocks out for a night on the town and are willing to (physically) push guys aside to get to the girl they want. The place is huge, with several floors and many different areas to suit all preferences, but show up early, as the trick is getting inside!
AMOG TIPS: Australians can be very AMOG-happy, especially the more drunk they get. I’ve been AMOGGED when making out with girls. Look up the article “The Short & Small of Getting Cockblocked & AMOGGED.” If you’re intending to hook up with a super-attractive woman, be prepared for the competition and both the physical and verbal aggressiveness that will follow suit.
Black Cherry at The Factory (105 Victoria Rd, Marrickville): $15/presale $18/door. This was a cool, rockabilly-meets-goth-meets-punk themed night that moves all around Sydney bringing super high-energy rockabilly and punk bands to a very diverse and made-up crowd. Despite being very punk oriented and alternative (Makeup, corsets, vinyl, etc) everyone was EXTREMELY NICE.
I cannot stress how surprised I was. Opening was a breeze and conversation (though sometimes dull) was VERY easy. I was shocked, but had a ton of fun. Outside, there were merch booths, a semi-bar and a grill (apparently, in Sydney, you have to sell food if you sell alcohol), and it is where most of the crowd congregated when the bands or burlesque shows weren’t going on inside.
Inside was a sort of hollowed-out proscenium theatre with no seats and a few parking stations, much like any concert, though it was all carpeted (weird). A large bar in the back generated huge lines, but offered cheap drinks (in WAX/PAPER cups??) but was the source of much revelry. No real place to sit down or isolate, but everyone was friendly enough to stand around and chat for hours. Sold out, so busy from 9pm on and dress in your most ridiculous attire just to fit in!
- Ivy (320 George St, Sydney): Even going in at 8:30PM, it was difficult to gain entry. Don’t go in pairs. Send in single file. Bigger, classier, louder. William says good Friday venue. Must reserve “birthday party” on Friday or Saturday. Maybe do dinner reservations. Only 3 Asian girls, only 1 Asian guy in the entire establishment. Ratio really good, 3 to 1 girls/guys.
- Argyle (18 Argyle St, The Rocks): PUA central. Met a lot of Community guys. Think a bigger, more average version Saddle Ranch. Can do wine service. Sometimes bouncers like to hassle you at the door if you come in groups of guys. True indirect, pure direct, or “cheers” openers. Mixed openers having a harder time working.
- Favella (1 Kellett Way, Potts Point): Student recommended, didn’t go. Does VIP service. Must reserve Thur/Fri.
Hugos (33 Bayswater Rd, King’s Cross): MORE HOT BLONDES THAN ANYWHERE IN SYDNEY! $5/8pm. Much like Ivy, this place is very classy, but difficult to open in. Dress upscale and watch the crazy hair, Hugo’s has a “hair” code and steps in your hair or highlights in your hair will set off alarms. Similar in style to Los Angeles clubs, there are tons of birthday parties and tourists out to look cool. Women are super attractive and men are generally cordial if dominant, no AMOG problems.
Drinks are particularly expensive, which is expected of a club, and the place is quite large. We had a couch in a nook near the bear in the middle of the long, open, half-patio venue with bars on each end which we commandeered through sheers numbers and dominance. There were quite a lot of individual couches for seating, but it got quite busy by 10pm. Sunday night is a slow night in King’s Cross, so expect to go early (8pm, when they open – there will be a line) and find the kind of crowd that arrives at 10pm to clubs across the US.
The place is packed fast and actually, the ratio of guys/girls gets BETTER as the night goes on. Dress nicely and don’t bother trying to chat up the door staff; they don’t care. Play it cool and your sets will swing open. Too high energy and you’ll fall flat on your face.
RACISM TIP: Generally speaking, Australians are not noticeably prejudiced against Asians. Granted, Vietnamese Australians have a reputation in certain neighborhoods to be drug dealers and criminals, but otherwise pretty positive to neutral. The real prejudice seems to be reserved for the aborigines and homosexuals.
Overall, Sydney was a blast and the people were very welcoming and easy to open. I made a ton of new friends at World Bar that were willing to show me around for the rest of the week I was there and made a few great and lasting friendships!
The more exclusive clubs are tougher to open, like always, so get that stack tight and get your game face on. As I mentioned, Australian men are a big crowd of AMOGs, so be prepared for that and, otherwise, have a blast!
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