The ABCs of Attraction might seem complicated if you only look at it from the outside, but nothing could be further from the truth about this holistic dating system.
Some people think it is a dating program. Others assume it is pickup artistry. While more label it as learning the right things to say to women.
And it’s true that dating is usually how men first encounter our work, but that simple description misses the bigger picture.
At its core, the ABCs of Attraction is a holistic personal development system that uses dating as the training ground. It is a combination of getting you instant results with applied principles in psychology while still giving you room to grow in your mental health and lifestyle.
It exists to help men, especially Asian men raised in Western societies, develop confidence, emotional stability, social awareness, and the ability to lead interactions without fear while fighting against systemic and institutionalized racism and stereotypes.
If you aren’t a conventionally attractive man where dating and women came naturally to you, then the ABCs Of Attraction is perfect for you.
To understand why the system works, you have to understand why it was built the way it was.
Where This Work Actually Came From
The ABCs of Attraction was founded by myself, JT Tran, but the system itself did not come from theory or textbooks.
It came from responsibility.
Years ago, I received a call from a Chinese Canadian mother who was worried about her teenage son. He had been harassed by neo Nazis. Not online insults. Real world intimidation. The kind that leaves a young man questioning his safety, his worth, and his place in the world.
She did not call me because she wanted her son to become slick with women.
She called because she could see him shrinking.
I told her, “Ma’am, for three days and three nights, I’ll be the big brother he never had.“
That promise forced me to solve a very specific problem.
I needed to give him enough structure and tools to get immediate results with women so his confidence could start rebuilding quickly. Confidence without results stays theoretical. It’s mental masturbation.
At the same time, the system had to be flexible and values-based so he could grow into his own identity and manhood without becoming a clone of me or a robotic caricature.
That tension is where the ABCDEF System was born.
Why a Holistic Approach Was Necessary
Most self-development systems fail because they overcorrect in one direction.
You see, every male subculture has what is colloquially known as “game” whether you’re an African American “spitting game” to the Latino “machismo” culture or the “nanpas” of Japan, there is some form of passed on knowledge of courtship through our brothers, fathers, and uncles in all communities and cultures.
So for the sake of simplicity, there are 3 main components of “game.”
The 3 Pillars Of Game
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Inner Game – Your emotional control, self-belief, and identity under pressure. It governs how you regulate fear, entitlement, neediness, and confidence so you don’t sabotage yourself.
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Outer Game – Your physical presentation and nonverbal communication. This includes body language, grooming, fashion, voice tonality, and how you occupy space to project status and sexual presence.
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Verbal Game – What you say and how you say it. This covers conversation, storytelling, flirtation, frame control, and verbal escalation that moves interactions forward.
And everyone, and every subculture, has it’s own particular style which comes with it’s own strengths and weaknesses.
Pickup artist style programs often overemphasize verbal game. Students memorize routines, openers, and patterns. Sometimes they even get short term results. Long term, they feel fake. Women feel it too. The man never learns how to read the room or regulate his emotions. He is acting, not relating.
On the opposite end, you have the stereotypical alpha or looksmaxxing path. The focus becomes body language, dominance, muscles, fashion, and physical presence. Those things matter, but without emotional grounding, they often mask insecurity rather than resolve it. When validation disappears, so does confidence.
Then there are inner game only approaches. Endless journaling. Therapy speak. Navel gazing. Men can spend years analyzing their childhood, their trauma, and their beliefs while never actually putting themselves into real situations where growth happens. Insight without action does not build confidence.
I had seen all of these paths fail in different ways.
And the system I built had to integrate Inner Game, Outer Game, and Verbal Game at every stage so no single area became a crutch and attraction is generated holistically, not accidentally.
In some ways, it is being the “jack of all trades while being the master of none”, but also we don’t have any of the same weaknesses that other forms of dating subcultures have.
Thus to have “holistic game” is to be well-rounded instead of being an overspecialized, one trick pony that might short change your self-development and lead you into a dead end.
What the ABCs of Attraction Actually Is
As a company, the ABCs of Attraction provides coaching, live training, and structured programs that emphasize real world experience, feedback, and accountability.
As a philosophy, it is grounded in agency. The system acknowledges reality, including race, culture, and social conditioning, while keeping the focus on what a man can control.
As a teaching system, it treats dating as a mirror. Anxiety, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and lack of boundaries all surface quickly in dating environments. Instead of avoiding those moments, the system teaches men how to move through them.
The goal is not performance. The goal is integration.
The ABCDEF System at a High Level
The ABCDEF System is a mnemonic framework; it’s sometimes referred to as an acronym because the ABCs of Attraction maps to the ABCDEF letters of the English alphabet (although humorously some people have guessed that the ABCs stands for American Born Chinese, lol).
So when emotions are high (like the thought of approaching a girl) and situations are uncertain (like when is a good time to kiss the girl), all you have to do is remember your ABCs!
It’s that simple. So it’s not so much of a script as it is your map or “gameplan.”
Each letter represents a phase of attraction and interaction, and each phase incorporates the three main pillars of game: your Inner Game, Outer Game, and Verbal Game.
Letter A – Attitude, Attract, Approach
Focus: State control, intent, and decisive action
This phase teaches you how to regulate your internal state, project intent, and take action without fear, hesitation, or the need for external validation. You’ll learn how attraction begins before you say a word and how to approach from a grounded, masculine frame.
Key Outcomes:
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Eliminate approach anxiety at the source
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Project presence and intent immediately
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Take action without waiting for signals or permission
Letter B – Be Present, Banter, Buying Temperature
Focus: Engagement, calibration, and emotional movement
This phase develops your ability to stay present, create playful emotional momentum, and accurately read interest. You’ll learn how to banter naturally while assessing whether the interaction should progress without forcing outcomes or over-investing.
Key Outcomes:
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Create emotional engagement without trying too hard
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Read interest and receptivity in real time
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Avoid chasing or pushing low-interest interactions
Letter C – Compliance, Comfort, Connect
Focus: Trust, pacing, and mutual investment
This phase teaches you how to build comfort and connection through calibrated compliance and pacing. You’ll learn how to create trust while maintaining momentum without becoming platonic, predictable, or overly agreeable.
Key Outcomes:
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Build trust without killing attraction
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Use compliance tests correctly
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Deepen connection while keeping polarity
Letter D – Dominance, Direct Intent, Disqualify
Focus: Leadership, polarity, and masculine frame
This phase introduces polarization. You’ll learn how to express direct intent, lead interactions, and disqualify when necessary so you’re choosing, not seeking approval. This is where attraction becomes unmistakably sexual and directional.
Key Outcomes:
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Lead interactions confidently
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Express intent without neediness
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Maintain frame through disqualification
Letter E – Evaluate, Extract or Escalate
Focus: Momentum, escalation, and logistics
This phase prevents stagnation. You’ll learn how to evaluate alignment, escalate appropriately, and extract logistics such as numbers, dates, isolation, or pulls, ensuring interactions move forward instead of stalling indefinitely.
Key Outcomes:
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Escalate without awkwardness
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Prevent over-investing or endless talking
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Move interactions toward real-world outcomes
Letter F – Future, Fun Up Artist? or Fake Pickup Artist?!
Focus: Integrity, sustainability, and long-term outcomes
This phase separates real confidence from performative game. You’ll learn how attraction holds—or collapses—over time, how to build something sustainable, and how to avoid becoming dependent on techniques, validation, or ego-driven behavior.
Key Outcomes:
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Maintain attraction beyond the initial interaction
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Build real options instead of chasing validation
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Identify and eliminate fake confidence patterns
Thus ABCDEF System is a structured, phase-based training model that integrates Inner Game, Outer Game, and Verbal Game at every stage and therefore attraction is built deliberately, not accidentally.
Why the Holistic Approach Works Better Long Term
The ABCs of Attraction does not work because it avoids difficulty or simplifies the dating process. It works because it enforces balance across all dimensions of social interaction.
Men are not allowed to hide behind memorized lines, physical appearance, or endless self-analysis. Instead, they are required to engage as whole people, integrating mindset, presence, and communication simultaneously.
Inner Game is developed through real-world exposure rather than isolation or overthinking. Outer Game is refined through feedback and calibration, not obsession or perfectionism. Verbal Game emerges naturally when a man’s internal state and physical presence are aligned, rather than being forced through technique alone.
Over time, this integration changes how men experience uncertainty. They stop overthinking interactions, stop spiraling emotionally after rejection, and begin to trust their ability to respond effectively in unpredictable situations. This trust, built through experience rather than affirmation, is what real confidence looks like.
Client Survey Data And Exit Interviews: What Our Students Actually Experience
According to our client satisfaction surveys and exit interviews, the most consistent outcome students report is more than an immediate change in dating results (some students even saying that “They’ve met more women in a single weekend than they would in an entire year!“), but also a noticeable and measurable reduction in anxiety, internalized racism, and self-doubt.
Across surveys, students rated their own effort during the program at an average of 8 out of 10, with many noting that the structure and feedback pushed them further than self-study ever had. Despite this effort, the dominant emotional response reported was not exhaustion or overwhelm, but relief.
As one student put it, “I was actively taking care of a problem instead of just thinking about it.”
Students consistently report feeling calmer and more grounded in social situations. Interactions that once triggered fear—approaching, holding conversation, or facing rejection—become manageable rather than paralyzing. Rejection, in particular, stops being interpreted as a personal failure and is instead understood as situational feedback.
This shift is reflected in comments such as “I’m better than when I started,” and “It made me see what was possible.”
One of the highest-rated benefits in the exit surveys was learning how to read feedback in real time. Rather than guessing interest or replaying conversations afterward, students describe understanding why interactions unfold the way they do.
One testimonial summarized this clearly: “Great insight as to how conversation works and why.”
This ability to interpret body language, engagement, and compliance cues significantly reduces the mental spiraling that previously dominated their dating lives.
As confidence stabilizes, students report secondary benefits outside of dating. Boundaries improve, communication becomes clearer, and decision-making becomes more decisive.
Several students explicitly noted that the value extended beyond women, describing the program simply as “Everything!”
Dating shifts from an exercise in proving worth to a process of determining compatibility, which aligns with why many students report leaving the program feeling they had resolved the main issue they originally came to fix.
Why Asian Men Choose the ABCs Of Attraction
Client profile data and satisfaction surveys show that a large proportion of our students are Asian men raised in Western cultures who are educated, analytical, and disciplined, yet struggle in unstructured social and dating environments. Many report that their core issue is not a lack of ability or ambition, but a lack of clarity around how they are perceived.
Survey feedback repeatedly highlights a sense of being misunderstood rather than rejected. Asian men are often socialized to value humility, restraint, and deference, but dating environments tend to reward expressiveness, assertiveness, and visible leadership. This mismatch leads to misinterpretation, not a lack of value.
As one student summarized, the program helped him “get out of the racial comfort zone” without feeling inauthentic.
The ABCs of Attraction was designed specifically to address this gap. Rather than encouraging Asian men to imitate exaggerated personas or abandon their identity, the system teaches them how to express intent, confidence, and leadership in ways that are socially readable within Western dating contexts.
As I always like to say, “Be successful BECAUSE you’re an Asian man. NOT in spite of being Asian.“
This approach is reflected in one of the most common pieces of positive feedback: “We can attract women while being ourselves.”
Client satisfaction data reinforces this outcome. Students report that the program helps them integrate body language, conversation, and intent into a cohesive presence, rather than relying on tricks or scripts. Many cite confidence and body language as their biggest gains, with instructors and infield feedback repeatedly mentioned as key factors in that development.
Importantly, despite varied ages and backgrounds, surveys show that most students are not seeking marriage immediately, nor are they looking for shortcuts. They are looking for a learnable skillset and a system that works across situations.
As one student stated plainly, “ABCs is all I will ever need.”
The result is not a new identity, but coherence. Asian men leave the program better understood, more grounded, and more confident in their ability to express who they already are.
The goal is not imitation.
The goal is alignment.
Although having said all that, many non-Asian men ranging from African American, Latinos, white and European men have taken the ABCs Of Attraction. Anyone who does not feel conventionally attractive by society’s standard finds the ABCs philosophy and teaching methodology life changing.
The Deeper Outcome
Ultimately, the ABCs of Attraction is not JUST about dating itself. It is about reclaiming personal agency.
When men learn that they can act without seeking permission, tolerate discomfort without collapsing emotionally, and trust themselves to respond effectively to uncertainty, their entire relationship with life begins to change. Dating simply provides the fastest and most emotionally honest environment in which to learn these lessons.
Final Thought
The ABCs of Attraction exists because too many capable men were never taught how to trust themselves socially.
Confidence is not something that appears on its own or arrives through passive understanding. It is built deliberately through experience, reflection, and repetition.
The ABCs of Attraction is our call to service and mission statement to help men just like ourselves become more confident and successful in their life.
And if that sounds like something you want for yourself, join us in that journey and to contact us for a free, no-strings attached, coaching call.