So you’re considering a long term relationship.
WOAH THERE, SLOW DOWN, PRINCE CHARMING!
Long term relationships are GREAT, but an LTR can be a LOT harder than you think…
In fact there are TONS of reasons why you SHOULDN’T get into an LTR and there are definitely some relationship problems you need to watch out for in long term relationships.
For instance, if you are new to “The Game”, DON’T settle down into an LTR yet (I’ll tell you why in just a sec). However, IF it’s the right time AND you’re ready, long term relationships are one of the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences that you can have.
The point of this article isn’t to act as a guide to traverse the rocky ground that is long term relationships; that is another essay for another day.
Rather, the intention of this text is to enlighten you as to whether or not you are ready to embark upon a sexually and emotionally exclusive LTR. And trust me, there is more to this decision than meets the eye.
If this question is something that is currently relevant in your life, or if you believe it will become relevant at some point in the future (which should be EVERYONE, unless you have Anti-Social Personality Disorder), then this article is your Rosetta Stone to long term relationships, and, if you don’t read it and pay close attention, rather than acting as a guide to translate to you the language of love, the pain of a botched LTR will fall on your head. Which will hurt.
Read on, brave Padawan, to find out if YOU’RE ready for a one-lady gig.
You’re Not Ready If…
- You’re new to game– To my recent bootcamp graduates, I strongly recommend that they do NOT engage in a long term relationship. This is for a plethora of reasons, including inner game and congruence issues, which I’ll get to in a bit. For now, lets focus on one of the most obvious reasons: A man who is new to the dating arena obviously hasn’t had casual relationships with that many women yet. As a result, he DOESN’T REALLY KNOW WHAT HE WANTS, even if he thinks he wants an LTR. I can’t tell you how many students I have seen get REALLY GOOD over the course of a one-weekend bootcamp that pretty much threw it all away by dating a gorgeous, but otherwise completely worthless, club chick. Don’t settle for anything less than the best. If you want to go into a long term relationship too soon after getting good (I’d say 6 months – 1 year), then odds are, you’ll be settling for something less than the best, because you probably don’t even know what the best is yet.
- You lack inner game/congruence– This is another reason why I recommend newbies against getting involved exclusively. The reason that I didn’t include this in the previous bullet is simply because it applies to people other than just newbies. There could be times in your life, 6 years down the road, where something devastating happens that causes you a temporary deficit in self-esteem and/or congruence. If you are suffering from a lack of inner game or congruence, then entering into a long term relationship is probably one of the worst things that you can do. Instead of focusing on someone else, you need to focus on yourself, and really FIND yourself again. It is difficult if not impossible to find yourself once the emotions of an LTR get thrown into the mix, especially if the relationship is emotionally unhealthy or unstable, which is almost always the case when one (or both) of the couples is suffering inner game/congruence issues. If this is the case for you, hold of on the reward of a long term relationship until you are solid on your own.
You don’t have a good social circle– Having a good social circle is almost imperative if you want to have a good long term relationship. Even the best of LTRs can be draining and emotionally taxing. Additionally, being with someone that you really care about (not to mention getting laid on a regular basis) can really sap your motivation… After all, you have everything you need, right? Wrong. If you’ve ever heard a girl say “You’ve changed!” after dating her for X amount of time, this is the #1 reason why. It’s because you HAVE changed. You allowed that masculine drive and self-motivation to wane. You became complacent. So how do we fix this? Social circle! Having a great social circle (of both guys and girls) in place BEFORE you enter into a long term relationship will save you worlds of trouble.
- Your logistics aren’t ready– This one is a doozy. If you’ve made it this far, it means that you’ve slept around enough, your game is tight, you are congruent and have strong inner game and confidence, and your social circle is legit. Unfortunately, if you’re logistics and lifestyle aren’t on point, you simply cannot go ahead with entering into a long term relationship. This is a bummer summer, because, if you’ve got everything else down, you might feel entitled to an LTR if that special someone pops into your life. The fact is, if you’re living with your mom and you want to go into a long term relationship with a girl, it doesn’t matter how good your game is; eventually, she will see through it all, and realize that your lifestyle doesn’t back it up. Do yourself a favor and ensure that your lifestyle is on point, or at least relatively solid, before committing to a long term relationship.
This are the biggest red flags that you are NOT ready to go into an LTR. Sure, you can disregard them, but do so at your own peril, and email me when things fuck up so I can say, “I told ya so!”
The Game-Relevant Benefits To Exclusive Relationships
While there are a multitude of reasons why you SHOULDN’T get involved exclusively, there are just as many why you SHOULD.
I don’t want to get you TOO excited, especially if you’re not ready yet, but let’s look at one or two reasons why long term relationships are awesome, just so you can preview the coming attractions.
They take your shit to the next level– Being in a long term relationship, if you’re ready for it, will sky-rocket your game to the next level. If you’re in an LTR, then that should mean that your game is already solid. And, if your game is already solid, then it will become even more solid when you add the ability to game through emotions to the mix. That’s right; long term relationships get very emotional at times. If you are able to keep your cool through the ups and downs of something so romantically intimate, then it will make the club rats look like penalty kicks to you.
- You get to LEAVE the game… at least for a bit– This is a blessing, through and through. Baseball players need the off-season, college headmasters need sabbaticals, and playboys need exclusive relationships. Being in a long term relationship allows you to relax from the game a bit, and can provide not only rest and recuperation, but a widened perspective on social dynamics in general. Enjoy this, and take full advantage of it. Enjoy the momentary stability.
There you have it, you little homemaker, you! Use this article as a guide to determine whether or not you’re ready to take on the commitment of an LTR. When in doubt, wait it out… There will always be more women down the road. Never commit before you are ready; you risk runing all the hard work you’ve put in. You also risk breaking her heart because you’re not the best man you could possibly be.
Now go out there and get yourself as close to the ideal as possible, so that you can settle down for a bit and enjoy your off-season.
If you’re still not ready to pursue a serious long term relationship and your Game just isn’t where you would want it to be, check out one of our world-famous bootcamps and we’ll kick your ass into dating shape.