Cheating: How to Deal With a Cheater

By JT Tran

Oh No! You’re dating a cheater!  She’s cheating on you!

So you got into a monogamous relationship, and your girl cheated on you… Now what? You’re dating a cheater and she cheated on you…

There must be thousands of questions spiraling through your mind… Why do women cheat? Does she really love me? What did I do wrong? Is there anything I could have done to prevent it? Why on EARTH did she cheat on me with ADELE?!?!?! (At least, these are the questions that I typically find myself asking… is that weird?)

Some people may lash out in anger, blaming their cheating partner for everything, while others may recoil and turn their anger inwards on themselves. Some may become emotionally numb toward the cheater, and some may, frankly, not give a shit.

So how common is cheating?

Unfortunately, statistically speaking, if you’re in more than ONE “monogamous” relationship in your life, you’ll probably get cheated on at some point (cheating purportedly happens in over 50% of “monogamous” relationships). So, virtually all of us have experienced – or will at some point experience – being cheated on.

Furthermore, 68% of women in marriages (not dating, but MARRIED women) say that they WOULD HAVE AN AFFAIR if they KNEW that they could get away with it. And, when cheated on, men found out about it LESS than 50% of the time.

YAY!!! Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts…

So what did you do wrong? Or is SHE the only one to blame?

Well first, lets rewind a bit to figure out WHY do women cheat, and to see what you could have done to decrease the chances of your significant other cheating on you.

Why Do Women Cheat?

 Women cheat for the exact same reasons that men do. This includes:

  1. Low self-esteem– Having sex with another man can make her feel validated.
  2. They like sex – Women like sex even more than men do. If they are not satisfied (or even if they just want to try something new on for size) they can easily be led to cheat.
  3. Something is lacking – Often times, women will cheat in an attempt to establish an emotional connection with another man, when they feel that their primary man is not delivering on that emotional connection.
  4. Out of spite – Sometimes, women will cheat as a way of “getting back”. They may even let their man know about the cheating, if they are seeking a particular reaction from him.
  5. Shawty got gamed– Sometimes, a dude with phenomenal game comes along and fucks up her brain circuitry. This is the “it just happened” scenario. It means you got out-gamed (or that you weren’t there when she needed you to AMOG for her).If you want to make sure that this never happens to you, then I suggest that you take a bootcamp.

What Can You Do To Prevent This?

 Cheating (generally speaking) isn’t an “out of the blue” occurrence. There are usually things that you can to do prevent, or at least minimize the likelihood of, cheating.

However, while it is a risk that you can certainly minimize, it is important to understand that sometimes, GIRLS JUST CHEAT.

Preventing cheating isn’t FULLY YOUR DUTY. It is part of her duty, too. It’s true that sometimes girls cheat because you did something wrong (or failed to do something right). But rest assured, if you follow the following steps on minimizing the likelihood of cheating, and she STILL sleeps with another guy, then she’s just a slut, and it ain’t your fault…

…They aren’t ALL diamonds in the rough.

So, lets just focus on what YOU can do, and not obsess over her end of the bargain.

Minimizing the risk of cheating falls into two categories: The Pregame and The Upkeep

The Pregame

This is one of the MOST IMPORTANT ASPECTS of minimizing the risk of cheating. If you fail at this part, it is YOUR FAULT and YOUR FAULT ALONE.

This takes place from meeting her all the way up to initiating exclusivity.

The pregame is all about finding a woman whose very FOUNDATION is that of someone that you can trust to be loyal. There are several ways to go about finding a woman of such quality. I suggest that you utilize as many of the following methods as possible:

  1.  Observe– What is she like already? Where did you meet her? Is she a club rat? Does she have a history of breaking hearts or of dishonesty? Does she have self-serving tendencies?These (and more) are important questions to ask when going into ANY sort of relationship with a woman. If she seems selfish and manipulative before you even start dating her, then chances are, she’s NOT going to change for you…No really… She’s not.
  2. Elicit – Get her to invest in you. The more invested she is in you, the more she will be willing to do to keep you in her life. You NEED investment to ensure exclusivity.
  3. Qualify– This is the most important aspect of the pregame. Qualify her to make sure she fits what you would want in a monogamous partner. Qualify her on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, from how you want her to be in bed, to how loyal she is.If you fail to do this part properly, and she cheats on you, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
  4. Connect – Women want exclusivity with men that they feel a genuine and deep connection with. Without this connection, there is no reason for her to invest her feminine resources (*cough cough* tits and ass) in you, and you alone.

As you can see, a proper pregame can help you pick the right girl, as well as set the right precedents with her from early on.

Although solid pregame will make your life a lot easier, you need MORE than just that to ensure that you’ve done all you can to minimize the risk of cheating.

The Upkeep

 This portion takes place after the monogamous relationship begins. It starts as soon as exclusivity is initiated, and ends right when cheating occurs, if it comes to that.

The upkeep is all about making her want to be with you and only you. Because, no matter how perfect or morally sound a woman is, she will only stay with someone who CONTINUES to satisfy her needs.

Women, especially HOT women (read: the women you should be dating) have the opportunity to have sex with high-status men several times a day. You have a lot to compete with, but it’s actually easy if you just follow these steps:

  1.  Continue – Keep getting her to invest in you and qualifying her. This will set the frame of you always being the trophy, something that she constantly wants to obtain time and time again. It will keep her attention focused on you. Think “cat-string theory”, but to a lesser, more subtle extent.
  2. Deepen connection – Your connection with your woman should constantly be growing. Constantly. Yes, there will be off-days (or off-weeks, months and even years depending on how long you are together), but the trend should always be upwards.
  3. Lay the pipe – Once you’re in a relationship, you need to FUCK HER BRAINS OUT on the regular. She needs to know that NO OTHER MAN can satisfy her the way that you do. You need her to be sexually addicted to you.
  4. STOP OBSERVING – Although counter-intuitive, this is very important. In the pregame, you wanted to OBSERVE her to see what she was like. You know what she is like now. STOP OBSERVING.A mistake that tons of guys make is that they get worried that their girl is going to cheat, or they get jealous when she hangs out with other guys. NO. STOP IT. You’re not allowed to do that.You’re not ALLOWED to look for signs of cheating.It will only drive her away, and, if you’re executing your pregame and upkeep properly, you don’t need to worry about this.

It’s really simple. It’s actually pretty damn easy. You laid the groundwork in the pregame, and you continued providing everything that you’re required to in the upkeep.

However, sometimes it slips past this, and she’ll end up CHEATING.

So what do you do then?


OOPS! She Done Cheated.

Once someone cheats on you, you’ve got some decisions to make. Hopefully, it never comes to this. However, in case it does, it is your duty as a man to learn how to handle it, LIKE A MAN.

Read on.

The Postgame

She cheated on you. Which means that you’re no longer monogamous, and let’s face it, you probably WON’T be again. So let’s get over that dream 🙂

This is like the damage-control of relationships. What do you do? Dealing with a cheater can be especially difficult if you love them so much that it is hard to keep firm boundaries. But firm boundaries are what make you such a badass. So here’s what you need to do:

  1. Express– Let her know the effect that it has on you. Let her know how it makes you feel that she cheated. Be honest. It is manly to be comfortable being emotional.Also, fun side effect: It gets you the best results. If you act like it doesn’t even bother you, or, conversely, if you blow up and get super emotional and angry (the two most common reactions), your girl WON’T BE AFFECTED. She’ll either say to herself, “He’s being cold, he must not have cared that much in the first place…” OR “He’s being an asshole… Fuck him, I’m so done”.However, if you’re just honest and emotionally vulnerable, she has no choice but to feel like a HUGE BITCH. Pretty damn vindicating 🙂
  2. Release– Tell her that you need some time to yourself. Go off of the grid for a few days. Fuck a few other girls. She’ll probably be hitting you up like crazy through text or Facebook. If she doesn’t, then she can go suck a dick.This is an important stage because it shows that you have your OWN life independent of her, and that you are a strong enough male to hold firm boundaries and take care of yourself. Also, you can take the time away from her to party with your friends and post a bunch of awesome pictures to Facebook. All of these things are ATTRACTION TRIGGERS, and she’ll start beating herself up internally for being disloyal to you.Another added perk is that she’ll probably be hitting you up like crazy, which will get her to start investing in you again. Tré importanté.
  3. Re-connect– On YOUR time, on YOUR terms, hit her up to hang out again. You don’t need to go on a date or anything special. Just text her something like “Hey, what are you up to tonight? Let’s catch up.” Then, just chill at your house or hers, with the purpose of “talking things over”.Obviously, you’ll still be into her. And she’ll be more attracted to you than ever, due to all of the sick shit that you’ve been doing since found out you cheated.So what do you do? FUCK HER BRAINS OUT. Seriously. Give her the best dick she’s ever had.Only AFTER you’ve done this, do you agree to sit down and talk things over 🙂If you want to re-initiate the relationship, do so, but ON YOUR TERMS. If you want to make her a fuckbuddy, that’s great, too. Hell, you can even fuck her and then end it right there… She probably deserves it 🙂

Bam. The postgame. Pretty hardcore shit. What now, bitches?!?!

Now that you know all of this, I DARE some lame-ass girl to cheat on you. I effing DARE them.

Have fun, boys, and remember: Women are amazing, wonderful, intelligent, and LOYAL creatures. Please always expect the best in them. NO women are out to break your heart, and those that ARE have severe psychological and emotional problems.