I’ve gotten a lot of questions and pleads for dating tips recently about how to get a date and how to ask a girl out. However, it seems like guys don’t exactly know what they want out of it, what their final goal is, or WHY they even want to know how to get a date and how to ask a girl out in the first place when they ask me for dating tips.
A lot of the time, these questions are vague, and as a result, it is difficult for me to give a clear and concise answer about how to get a date or how to ask a girl out. However, I’ve gotten so many similar (but equally unclear) requests for dating tips about how to get a date that I decided to try and put together the best answer I can.
Keep it S.M.A.R.T.
If you want to figure out how to get a date or how to ask a girl out, you need to keep it SMART. Instead of overcomplicating things, it is important to set clear and concise goals that you either definitively achieve or fall short of. It might feel more risky or threaten your ego more, but that’s exactly what you need in order to succeed.
If you fail to do this, you will become demotivated, and you won’t see as much progress as you otherwise would, no matter how many dating tips you get.
Therefore, when making a goal, it is important to be very specific so that you KNOW when you achieve the results that you’re looking for. This is called a SMART goal, invented by efficiency expert George T. Doran. It stands for:
Specific – What exactly do you want to accomplish? What is the goal? In this case, it is figuring out HOW TO GET A DATE or HOW TO ASK A GIRL OUT. Why do you want to do it? What are your reasons? If you want to figure out how to get a date or how to ask a girl out for ego reasons or you don’t have a clear reason why you want more dates, then this SHOULDN’T be a priority for you right now and you shouldn’t be out looking for dating tips. If, however, you feel like it would genuinely improve your dating and social life, then go for it. Take into account requirements and restraints, such as time available to achieve the goal, the ability to meet women in the first place to invite them on dates, etc.
- Measurable – This is the QUANTITY of your goal. How many dates do you want to go on? In this case, it’s five. This is so that you know when exactly you achieve it. That way, if you fall short, you can adjust your approach to increase efficiency, and if you go over, you can start raising your standards for who you’re dating.
- Attainable – How can the goal be accomplished? If it is not realistic to figure out how to get a date as a goal, then don’t set it and don’t ask for dating tips on how to do it. Yes, it is good to push yourself, but you don’t want to say you’re going to go on 25 dates this month, because that’s obviously not going to happen (unless you’re Wilt Chamberlain, and you’re not). 5 dates a month, however, is a reasonable and attainable number.
- Relevant – Does figuring out how to get a date seem worthwhile? Is this the right time to work on the goal? This is where your personal priorities and desires come into play. Like I said earlier, if this is an ego-based goal, then it is not relevant and you shouldn’t pursue it. Also, if you can’t even approach and number close with consistency, this goal is not relevant to you.
- Timely – What is the time frame for this goal? What can I do to get started? In this case, the time frame is PER MONTH.
So the SMART goal is: How can I go on 5 dates every month?
If all of the aspects of the SMART goal apply to you, read on to learn some dating tips on how to achieve this for yourself.
The first change that you need to make in order to achieve your SMART goal is to start approaching more. This includes cold approaches, social circle, and even online. If you are not getting 5 dates a month at your current approach rate, then you obviously need to step up your approaches to get there.
Specific – Set aside time to make this happen for yourself and figure out how to get a date or how to ask a girl out. If you have a busy work schedule, figure out how you can fit in time to approach and meet women. This could be before or after work, during lunch breaks, or even on the job. Work around your limitations to figure out how to increase your number of approaches.
Attainable – If this isn’t realistic for you in your current situation, you should work on getting a job that allows you more free time before you start trying to cram in tons of approaches.
Although it can sometimes seem overwhelming or even impossible to spend more time socializing, make it a priority for yourself. This is the biggest dating tip I can give you. Where regular people see obstacles, champions see solutions. Be a champion and go mack on some honeys, starting today!
Assuming you can successfully game a girl and get her number (which you can if you’re reading this… right?!?), you’re going to have to invite her out on the day two to complete your goal of figuring out how to get a date.
Since we’re going for efficiency and maximizing the number of dates here (remember, we’ve got a goal to accomplish, people!), there are a couple dating tips that you can keep in mind to expedite this process.
Have a game plan – Have an actual idea or two of good places to Day-2 girls in your area. That way, when you meet the girl, you can actually set up the Day 2 before you two even part ways. This will increase the rate of women that show up; if you already have a couple of baller activities to attend that week, the women are much more likely to want to join you.
Day 3 – Don’t just focus on dating tons of girls once. You can date the same girl 5 times in one month for all I care. See if you can make Day 3 happen while you’re already knee-deep in Day 2. Just make those 5 dates happen!
The numbers game – Don’t be shy! Invite multiple women to the same event. That way, even if some of them flake, you’ll more than likely still have at least 1 girl show up. Best case scenario, multiple girls show up and start fighting over you like girls so often do.
Although this may seem like it’s scary or a lot of work, it actually isn’t. You will be surprised what you can get away with with girls if you’re the source of value.
Make yourself that source of value, and the girls (and dates) will be plentiful.
Now get out there, have fun, and date some girls! And remember: If you want to see real, lasting change, always keep it S.M.A.R.T.
And if you can’t figure out where you’re going wrong and why you can’t get more dates with girls, check out one of our world-famous bootcamps where we’ll kick your ass into dating shape.