[CLARIFICATION: There's some confusion as to the point of these articles. The point is not to seek confrontation, that's called being a bully. Instead, these articles are to prepare you for when YOU are confronted by a man who is intentionally trying to interfere with you.]
As a 5 foot 5 inches, average looking Asian man who predominately dates non-Asian women who are both physically out of my league and taller than me, I have had the undeniable “privilege” and “enjoyment” of learning how to defend myself from cockblocks. Or as the PUA community calls them AMOGs (alpha male other guy or alpha male other group) and in other circumstances, AFOGs, the alpha female of a group.
It’s not something I enjoy doing (quite frankly, I consider it a waste of time and effort), however it’s what I’ve had to learn out of sheer necessity. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I literally can’t step out the door with a beautiful girl on my arm and not get stared at and AMOGGED by dudes. I’ve had my girlfriends tell me that they have never been hit on more in their entire lives than when they have been out in public with me.
There’s a lot of controversy on the topic of AMOGging and anti-AMOG tactics and while I don’t believe in the necessity of going out distinctly to cockblock someone, it is useful to know how to defend yourself. Anytime you’re dating someone beautiful, guys will approach her. That’s simply the nature of the game. It isn’t necessarily a sign of disrespect or that they’re out to get you or racism, it’s just that she’s a beautiful girl and attractive women get approached more and usually by the more confident and alpha men.
But I know what some of you are thinking, “I never get AMOGGED so why should I bother? AMOGGING is for losers and dummies!”
To which my reply is that the only reasons that you might not have to deal with AMOGs when dating or going out with a girl is:
- You’re physically intimidating enough that no one wants to mess with you
- Your girl isn’t worth the effort
It has nothing to do with “Inner Game” or “Skillz” (you can read more under my “The Short and Small of Getting Cockblocked and AMOGGED“). Either you’re a big enough guy that no one would dare to cockblock you or you’re with a homely girl that no one wants to bother expending the effort. That’s it. If you’re the former reason, great! But if you’re the latter reason, maybe you should seriously be considering taking a bootcamp.
Now, the other reason to learn AMOG tactics and how to deal with them is because one of the open secrets of a community is that Asian men are the easiest to cockblock and steal their women. Entire pickup companies (one of which is described in Neil Strauss’ “The Game”) are based off of their PUA instructors only dating fog Asian women (typically of the FOBBY or Fresh Off the Boat persuasian) and PUA coaches who using AMOG tactics themselves or send their students to intentionally cockblock Asian men while in a set of girls. Those are the only girls they go for because they’re the only ones they’re certain that they can get.
Some PUAs will intentionally just go to Asian clubs to pick up Asian girls because it’s easier and literally no Asian man will try and stop them. It’s sad, but I’ve seen this time and time again at Asian clubs: a PUA will swoop in, subtly AMOG and steal the girl that an Asian guy was talking to. I’ve seen this first hand countless times and heard the exploits of PUAs as they bragged on the PUA forums about hooking up with an Asian girl they plucked from him.
One recurring PUA, anti-Asian AMOG tactic is to go up to the guy as he is talking to a girl and say:
“I wish I was Asian because you guys are so cool! You’ve got the awesome hair and cool clothes. It’s too bad I’m only Korean from the waist down.”
(And yes, I’ve seen this firsthand)
No Asian non-PUA will or can fend off a determined enough and skilled enough PUA (barring physical violence of course, ever notice how many Asian clubs end in a fight at the end of night? It’s ridiculous). This will still happen especially if an Asian man is at a mixed club or lounge where he is open season to everyone else watching.
Only a real Asian PUA can compete against a better equipped PUA.
So in Part 1 of this article, let’s talk about a couple of types of AMOGs that I’ve seen. There are a lot of variations between the meatheads and smooth talker to the rich guy, but I’m going to keep things simple. Basically, if you’re a short, average looking Asian guy like me, cockblocking douchebags will fall into two types:
- The stealthy ninja jumping out of the woodwork
- And the Conan the barbarian type
And a special kind of AFOG which I’ll talk about later.
The Stealthy Ninja
Rick Yune is a perfect example of the Stealthy Ninja PUA because I’ve been AMOGGED by this movie star multiple times (three at last count). And I’ve gotta give props to the actor because he does have Game and skills.
Anyways, what will happen especially with myself or my students is people will see me being successful on the approach and obviously all eyes are upon me because most people never in their entire lives have seen anything like a small little guy with Game.
So if my fellow Asians see this and they’ll obviously be righteously amazed. They will think, “Wow she likes Asian guys! So my chances with her are way better than with any other girl who isn’t with an Asian guy!”
And just like ninjas, the more stealthy type will hide in the shadow and on the sideline, waiting for an opportunity to pounce.
I remember distinctly when I knew I was getting very good at pickup and I was in Dallas. I had momentarily left a girl to go to the bar. I had approached in the middle of this smoking patio where everyone was standing around and after an hour I had kissed her. I saw out of the corner of their eye, various groups of Asian men leaning against the wall. I went to the bar to grab myself a drink and when I came back, she was literally just under siege by Asian guys who had surrounded her! Obviously, she was loving this sudden increase in her popularity.
Now what Rick Yune did, who I would run into at Skybar or the Highlands here in Hollywood every now and then, was very ultra smooth AMOG tactics. Obviously he’s a very tall and very good looking man and so he’s going to go more under the radar. I remember I was at Skybar and I had approached two Australian girls. One was average looking and the other an incredibly super hot foxy blonde. While my wingman conversed with the first girl, I was hitting it off with the second more attractive girl.
When my wingman went to go to the restroom, I was left to engage both girls. As I turned to the first girl, Rick Yune stepped out of the shadows to the sexy blonde and kino turned her so that she faced away from me. He mentions he’s in show business and his business manager? is over there and, oh yes, he has a table would she like to join him? Obviously she says yes and I’m left with the less attractive girl. This all happens within the span of less than 3 minutes.
Fast. Stealthy. Ninja-like. Respect.
It was all very subtle and very quickly done. And through out that night, any girl I was talking to, he would later try to swoop in and talk to her. By the third time, I had gotten wise to his wiley Asian Ninja PUA ways so I AMOGGED him by simply isolating the girls before he had a chance to lock-in, but I have to give the man props, he knows what he’s doing and he’s got some mad celebrity game.
Basically, the Ninja AMOG will come in subtly or they’ll swoop in a horde and overwhelm you and her with sheer numbers.
Conan The Barbarian
When I used to live in Texas before moving to Hollywood, I used to call them “Cornfeds.” In New York, they’re the “Guidos.”
Basically, these are the big, alpha males. The broskis. The fratboys. These are the type of guys who like to throw their size and weight around the little guys, wrap their arm around your shoulder in faux camaraderie and slap your chest in mock hilarity. Out of all the types, I absolutely LOVE messing with these guys when they step up to me.
They’re the perfect prey to our B.I.T. anti-AMOG tactics (which I’ll go into in Part 2 of this article).
What goes through a lot of these people’s minds is if it’s a Conan Barbarian type, “Oh damn, if she likes that little Asian guy, she’s going to LOVE me. I’m bigger and better looking!”
Or they’ll just step up simply because they’re insulted at the idea of a white (or black) girl dating an Asian guy and they have to “win one for the team!”
There’s the guy who doesn’t really know his own strength and size and throws it around like puppies tossed together in a litter. It’s a part of normal, fun playtime and the natural process of determining who’s at the top of the litter.
Then you have the guys who use their size to intimidate and threaten smaller guys. In such cases, my word of advice is to simply back down and step off. It’s simply not worth escalating, no matter the cost of pride, with these guys. While it may be fun to let the wind out of these puffed up douchebags, it’s not worth the trouble of getting into a shoving match, or worse a fistfight.
What Conans will do is use their physical size to muscle you out (either with presence or even physically) of the conversation or block you out. They’ll also use their size to intimidate you and make you look smaller and weaker. They’ll also use their loudness and cockiness to drown out your voice and presence.
These are the most common AMOGs that I run into.
The Anti-Asian AFOG (ie Tila Tequila)
Yes, there are alpha females. And yes, there are groups of girls who just don’t like Asian men. Now a lot of guys at this juncture are going to be like, “What the hell? There are girls specifically against Asian men? That’s bullshit, race has nothing to do with pickup!”
When 45% of American born Asian women marry a non-Asian man, it’s a huge and common phenomenon.
We Asian men know this type very intimately. I think almost every single one of us either have a female relative or a female friend that falls into this category. These are the Asian girls that would never date or marry an Asian man because, “It would be like dating my own dad or brother!”
Now sometimes the AFOGs aren’t Asian. I and my students have encountered this AFOG who have simply declared out loud that her entire group of female friends hate Asians or think Asians have small dicks, etc. Others will talk about Asian men behind your back. Ultimately there isn’t anything you can do with these types of girls. You can’t change a woman’s mind, but you can change her mood. But when her mind (and mood) is set that hard, then it’s simply not worth the time and effort.
Now, if you do run into a Tila Tequila type, an Asian girl who has specifically crafted her physical appearance to appear as white as possible (ie with blue contact lenses and platinum blonde hair), the key is to NOT go direct on her. She doesn’t want an Asian man and it would be pointless. Instead, ask if she IS Tila Tequila or otherwise compliment on how much she looks like her namesake.
This seems counter-intuitive, but it has been successfully field tested on the anti-Asian Asian AFOG. After all, if she models herself after looking like Paris Hilton, she’s going to be flattered. From that point, just get introduced to her friends.
You want her on your side, you just don’t want her.
What If She Says, “I Don’t Date Asian Guys!”
To the common fanmail question I got on my official Facebook account:
Hey J.T. Quick question. What’s your typically response for any girl you approach (asian/non-asian) for “I am not attracted to asians guys” or “I only like white-guys”?
Here’s what I would say:
Oh, but you know what they say, about us Asians, right? Once you go Asian, you can’t go Caucasian! Once you go yellow…. HEEEEELLLOOO!
Remember, you can’t change a woman’s mind, but you CAN change her mood!
Anti-AMOG B.I.T. Destroyer Tactics
So I’ve listed out the types of douchebags and AMOGs that you might have to deal with, what do you do about it? Well, you can see a preview in our popular “King of the Hill AMOG Drill” video.
In Part 2, I’ll detail the specifics of the Anti-AMOG B.I.T. tactics.