Tall, White, and Entitled: What Supermodel Cameron Russell’s TED Talk Can Teach Asian Men

Sarah Ann here.

Recently, a video of interest was passed my way. The video was a TED talk by supermodel Cameron Russell.

If you’ve never taken a second to watch or listen to any of the TED talks, get out from under that rock you live, go to Youtube, and do it! This TED talk was of particular interest because it covers a touchy subject for a lot of people to discuss, that being what it’s like to be a pretty person.

I know what you’re thinking, “Being a pretty person is a global issue? Give me break!”

But please, I beg you to bear with me! As a tall, white, attractive blonde, this TED talk struck a nerve with me, personally, as supermodel Cameron Russell was able to talk about a concept that I would never be able to deliver without sounding arrogant or conceited. Cameron Russell delivers an extremely eloquent and intelligent tale of her rise to fame as a supermodel, why she recognizes that her line of work is damaging, and how media and society perpetuate this endless cycle of beautiful people getting ahead with little or no effort. Additionally, I’m going to discuss this “legacy” of pretty people and how those who are not genetically blessed must compensate for what society might deem a lacking trait.

Cameron Russell--Victoria's Secret model and winner of the genetic lottery.

Cameron Russell–Victoria’s Secret model and winner of the genetic lottery.

Now, Cameron Russell’s TED talk and story is very similar to a lot of supermodels. She never planned to be a model, but simply fell into it as a teenager, made up, dressed up, and propped in front of a camera. She just happened to have the right look, proportions, and connections to make an unexpected career in modeling. Her talk is revealing and not lacking in irony, as she very well points out. Her main point is that her look and career were built around a legacy that was created by society and media, idolizing tall, slender, and overwhelmingly white women.

She admits to having won a genetic lottery that has helped advance her easily through life with favors and accolades being handed to her. On the flip side, it’s difficult for people to see who she really is because everything about her modeling career has been constructed for her by a team. Russell draws a disturbing comparison in her TED talk to those who are on the flip side of things. She gets free things and favors for how she looks while others suffer and are victimized for how they look and not who they are.

The idea of being judged by your looks or race instead of who you are is not a new concept, especially to those Asian men like you who might be interested in AMWF/AMXF dating. Humans have been doing this since the dawn of time.

In most societies, beauty is valued much higher than education or even moral fortitude. Being a minority, or short, or having bad skin is considered a curse to some people. Even some individuals of different races have this phenomenon of “self-hate” in regards to their heritage and upbringing, essentially self-prejudice. This is the whole mission of the ABCs of Attraction, to eradicate this school of thought for Asian men so that people may be free to accept not only themselves but everyone else as well.

Sarah Ann, wing-girl for ABCs of Attraction.

Sarah Ann, wing-girl for ABCs of Attraction.

On a smaller scale, the pick up community has become a place for misfits and naturals alike, but there is still a lot of the same “being good looking is better” mentality that is shared even on this micro-level. The bad news is, regular pick up doesn’t work for most Asian men and it won’t help them pursue AMWF or AMXF dating. Many coaches will tell you that long routines, charm, nice clothes, and a smile are all you need to get a girl into bed. I’ve seen first hand that this is not the case, especially when applied to beginners and Asian pickup artists.

Because people judge on a base level when it comes to appearance, and because most Caucasian girls especially don’t even consider AMWF dating since they have no base in which to see minorities as a possible dating candidate, Asian mens have to try that much harder to make a strong first impression. By strong first impression, I really mean nailing a great initial approach and staying in the set. If you have an accent that isn’t considered by Americans to be “attractive” then you have to overcome yet another barrier when you open your mouth to speak.

Another method prescribed by mainstream coaches is that you have to be “mysterious,” smooth, and make the girl think you don’t even like her. This will actually be counter-productive to the Asian man’s cause. You will come across as underwhelming and most likely boring. This is due to the fact that qualities like mysterious and smooth are something you are trying to emulate by thinking of James Bond or Brad Pitt. It works for them because they are hot, older, white guys.

Transferring those same qualities over to guys who are not only a minority, but don’t have a highly developed skillset with women does not produce the desired reaction. You think you’re exuding one thing when you’re actually only hurting your game. A lot of this “tall, dark, and handsome” game relies on verbal game and banter, which if English isn’t your first language, is going to be pretty difficult to execute gracefully. We teach a lot of alternative options here at the ABCs of Attraction which help you rely on your own personality and don’t make you memorize long routines.

The important thing to remember is that you can’t look at yourself as if you have disadvantages. You have to focus on what makes you unique, highlight those characteristics, and shape yourself into a confident, dominant Asian pickup artist. Society probably won’t hand things to you on a silver platter like it would the tall, dark, and muscley man who is idolized by mainstream media.

As someone who is also “genetically blessed” at least by modern western society’s standards (as a tall, beautiful, white girl myself), I can admit to getting special treatment throughout my life. While I wouldn’t say I’ve had things handed to me, I have experienced a greater ease than I would have say, if I’d been born (for the sake of this example) an Asian man. I work with hundreds of Asians and minorities every year through the ABCs of Attraction and see first hand the personal struggles and hate (either self-imposed or from society) that they experience.

You DON'T have to look like this to get the girl. Focus on your skills and you'll soon impress yourself with your improvement.

You DON’T have to look like this to get the girl. Focus on your skills and you’ll soon impress yourself with your improvement.

I’m not asking for sympathy or telling you to victimize yourself. In her speech, Cameron Russell was not asking sympathy for being beautiful and privileged. She was presenting a problem that is very much part of our American culture while at the same time admitting that she is actually a contributor to the problem.

Women recognize that they can get what they want using their feminine whiles. They’ve had a lifetime of experience “working” guys for free drinks and favors. While I generalize, this is overwhelmingly the case. Given the opportunity, a woman might take advantage of you! I wish most girls had the same mentality as Russell in her TED talk. Sadly, media and society have also helped foster not only the idea that white, beautiful women should be idolized, but that they are expected to act a certain way and get away with it.

What I am telling you is that, as a man, it’s your job to short circuit this thinking and control the interaction with the beautiful girl you’ve just met. STOP focusing on your race. STOP vicitmizing yourself for something you can’t change. STOP lamenting the fact that beautiful people have an easier time getting what they want.

Most of all, STOP relying on pickup tactics that are geared toward men who already have women in their back pockets. Instead, focus on the things you can change and the aspects of yourself that you can improve. Go to the gym. Learn how to dress. Learn the art of conversation. Learn how to completely blow a woman’s mind.

Before you know it, you’ll find that you’ve actually got more success as an Asian man than those good-looking guys who rely on looks alone and never developed any real skill.

And if you still can’t make heads or tails of pickup and AMWF or AMXF dating, check out one of our world-famous dating and seduction bootcamps, where we’ll kick your ass into dating shape.