Conversation is a daily part of our lives and it’s important to be effective in how you communicate with other people especially if you are a Chinese tourist visiting a Western country or an Asian immigrant permanently moving here and you might not realize you’re being rude, discourteous or worse, misogynistic.
Specifically, when communicating with women you’ll find that what you end up talking about is slightly different than when you’re talking with your male counterparts. The reason for this is because when dealing with men and women, there’s always the factor of sexual attraction. So when you find yourself attracted to a particular woman and you’re in conversation with her, it’s important that you follow general conversation etiquette.
One important form of conversation etiquette is that you should maintain good eye contact. Very often, it’s easy for a man’s eyes to wander and accidentally stare at the breasts of the woman in front of them even if all you’re doing is looking down at your hands. Not only does this telegraph that you’re not interested in what she has to say, but also it telegraphs a whole host of negative thoughts about you even if it was by accident. She may think you’re being insincere, misogynistic, insecure or nervous when you don’t make solid eye contact.
This leads into the next form of conversation etiquette with women where we pay extra attention to listening. Women specifically find it very attractive when a man is able to listen to what she has to say. To show that you’re listening, make sure you make affirmations to what she’s saying followed by something positive or a question that shows interest. An example would be saying, “I think it’s great that you volunteer with kids after school, what made you decide to do that?” after she tells you a story about her passions.
Next, don’t be a braggart. Women see the bragging as insecurity and it’s also just bad conversation etiquette. You want to be more interested in what the woman has to say in front of you more than yourself. It’s fine to talk about yourself, but there’s a difference between volunteering relevant information about yourself and being a big jerk. Usually bragging is done when putting others down to build yourself up and doing so is rude as well as unattractive. The worst case is when you talk about how more “independent” or “loud” American women are compared to your more familiar Asian females. That just comes off as patriarchal, old fashioned, out of date, and misogynistic.
Finally, use polite phrases to indicate what you want or to thank someone. Saying “please” and “excuse me” is normal. Not saying them, even though you don’t want to disturb them so you remain quiet, is considered rude. Also speaking loudly (as in over the voices of the people around you) in a language other than the local tongue is also considered impolite. Always say “thank you” and it’s customary to tip 15% at restaurants and taxi drivers (although this isn’t necessarily true in Europe and Australia, mostly in the USA).
These tips will definitely help you once your in set, whether in a club or on a date. If you are still wondering how to easily make small talk and never run out of things to say, check out our specifically designed product for learning how to make conversations with total strangers called “Small Talk Networking.”
Never run out of things to say and never be awkward in front of people again!