“Every battle is won before it is even fought.” – Sun Tzu
Over the years we have had thousands of students complain about how mystifying the seduction process is and how difficult it is to find out where one stands with a woman. These students have either taken programs with other companies and been left in the dark, or have simply been unable to continue struggling on their own and have discovered that there was a larger image they just weren’t getting.
It is with this, original confusion in mind that we generated the holistic structure of the ABCs of Attraction. It is a simple, progressive timeline that applies both to individual interactions, as well as the entire frame of a relationship and it is broken down into 6 phases: A through F (the simple, but comprehensive ABCDEF structure).
In this series of articles, I’ll describe these phases and the main elements of each, explaining them all and what parts make up each.
The first of these phases is, of course, A. Which stands for A – Attitude, Attract & Approach.
The quote by Sun Tzu- a military strategist without peer- at the beginning of this primer refers to the strategic principals behind a battle being of more importance than specific tactical implementations. In other words, in the Battle Between the Sexes, it’s not the little gimmicks, tactics, routines, and tricks that win the day.
It is the PROPER understanding, execution, and implementation of the actual principals that are the underpinnings of successful communication, confidence, and seduction that give us the upper hand.
“Beginners think WHAT to say to a girl.
The Average think HOW to say it to the girl.
The EXPERTS think WHERE to take the girl.”
– JT “the Asian Playboy” Tran
Before a man can even approach a woman, he must examine himself. He must look at what he is conveying with his appearance (his clothing, his hygiene), his body language (whether or not he’s slouched or frowning) and his behavior (who is he interacting with, whether he is leading the group, etc).
Much like how we instantly notice a woman that walks into the restaurant, bar or club that we’re in, women notice us right away, but judge us on a very different scale: We must place ourselves on that scale before we can even speak to her.
In other words…
ATTRACTION HAPPENS EVEN BEFORE YOU TALK TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!
- The first component of the A Phase is Attitude. The way you feel about yourself directly translates to how you act in (or out) of the club.
If you are constantly battling inner turmoil, you will never be able to look outside of yourself and focus on what’s going on around you. This very much relates to Inner Strength, one of the three, key-components of this phase.
Often times, “getting pumped up” is a SHORT TERM, externally driven remedy for low energy or a slow start. A solid pre-game routine is a key ingredient in a developing a successful mind frame for sarging. Whether it be dinner with your friends, a solid workout, or dancing in the mirror, you are in charge of your own mind and must first learn to incubate the Attitude that will give you the confidence to go out and do it.
The LONG TERM cure is creating, stoking, and maintaining your own internal drive for success without outside approval and validation (or “Fire in Your Belly”).
- The second component of the A Phase is Attract. Attraction occurs before you even talk to a girl.
We must do just that; we attract women before even saying a word by generating Passive Value. Passive value is your 360 degree display of value which you generate through your lifestyle. We must show that we are confident and content by smiling and assuming the position of the easy-going social man: Shoulders back, chest out, stomach in, chin up and feet slightly wider than shoulder-width apart (ie the Walk of Khan).
This is how we teach all of our students to stand and walk, as it represents Physical Confidence (on of the three, key-components of this phase), and demonstrates instant value.
Even though we may be extremely uncomfortable, it is our job to represent the coolness and suavity that we wish to achieve permanently. So many guys are blown out of sets before they even approach and we fix that by becoming attractive to women before we even say a word.
- The final component of the A Phase is Approach. Finally we get to the actual words, openers and approach her!
While it is not the most important part of the interaction, like many will lead you to believe, it still must be done!
So the actual approach is, paradoxically, both the most important- yet at the same time- least important, stage of seduction.
The approach is your first communication and the first display of Active Value through Verbal Attraction (the third, key- component of A Phase), meaning that you are intentionally displaying value to your target through your effective direct or indirect opener (whether it be direct: “I think you’re fucking adorable!” or indirect: “Hey, guys, quick question: Who lies more, women or men?”).
It is in this short period of initial contact that you engage your target and, if done right, blow the doors open to continue the seduction.
The A Phase, while requiring the least in-field work, is possibly the most important step of an interaction as, if you cannot generate Passive or Active Value in a way that allows you to open a set, the future of the set it doomed.
This is the first of the six steps of the holistic game plan of the ABCs of Attraction. Next, we continue to B: Be In The Moment, Banter & Buying Temperature.