You came in with a strong approach. Your opener had her hooked right away… Perfect. She’s laughing, touching you, and responding to everything you say. Maybe this girl will be the one that you end up taking home tonight!
However, as a bit of time passes, she starts reacting less and less, until eventually all you can get out of her are subdued “mhm”’s as she glances away in disinterest.
She was so into you… What happened?
Where did you go wrong?
You would think that her going from intense attraction and interest to the investment of a penny-stock trader could only happen due to some major, glaring fuck-up on your end. However, this is not the case: Killing her attraction can be as simple as being too timid to maintain your dominance.
Read on, eager and quiet field mouse, as I lead you from the vast field of uncertainty to the delicious and pungent cheese of sex… And remind me never to use that particular metaphor again…
Dominance Creates Attraction
Lets face it gents: Dominance is sexy. Have you ever noticed that the core desire of men is to feel as masculine as possible, while the core desire of women is to feel as feminine as possible? There is something so elusively delicious about polarizing the sexes in this way. Treat both you and her to this rare delight by simply injecting more dominance into your interactions.
Here’s how to do it:
- Fix your body language– Body language is one of the first, and most important, things that a woman notices about
you. When she sees you, she doesn’t care all that much about how classically good-looking you are. The way you carry yourself, however, is of paramount importance.Part of this is POSTURE. In order to fix your posture, stand with your legs slightly more than shoulder width apart, and roll your shoulders back and relax them. Imagine a rope tied to the top of your spine, pulling you up. Allow this to straighten your posture until your spine is extended all the way. Let your chest puff up (don’t overdo this, or it will come across as try-hard). The reason good posture is so important is because it is a sign of health and virility. If you lack it, it tells women that you are physically unhealthy.Another important element of body language is DOMINANCE.Besides revealing your physical health, body language can tell a lot about the inner workings of your mind. Make your body language dominant, and she will assume that YOU are dominant, whether you are or not (you cheater, you!) Dominant body language consists of slow and deliberate movements, being physically comfortable in the space that you are in, being open, relaxed, and unguarded.
For a good resource on body language and how to improve yours, check out Alexander Technique.
- Strengthen your voice– You could be in the best shape ever and have terrific body language, but having a poor voice can absolutely KILL attraction for you. A good voice is deep, resonant, and relaxed. Physiologically, the depth and resonance of your voice are associated with healthy hormone levels, and the relaxed cadence and intonation indicate confidence. It is difficult to explain exactly how to achieve this, but speak from your chest, more specifically, your diaphragm. This is where singers like Barry White go to get those REALLY low notes. When you speak from the diaphragm, your voice is richer, deeper, and definitely more sexy :).
- Make good eye contact – A lot of people seem to think that eye contact is rude. It isn’t; STARING is rude. Make eye contact with people when you interact with them, and smile as you do so. Those who are good at making eye contact get more attraction, compliance, and trust than those who don’t.
- Tell, don’t ask– Don’t ask girls to do things. Tell them. Instead of asking her to sit down with you, say “Come sit down over here, I’m tired of standing”. You can even offer things in a dominant way. For instance, instead of asking if someone wants some of your french fries, say “Have some of my fries, if you want them”. Turn every question into a statement, as long as it is socially calibrated to do so.This shows that you’re not afraid to state what you want, and is a general indication of dominance.
- Lead– This goes hand-in-hand with “Tell, don’t ask”. One of the biggest killers of attraction is the guy who can’t lead. This guy can actually be really frustrating to girls, because they might genuinely want to fuck him, but, since women RARELY make the first move, her attraction dwindles and eventually vanishes as he fails to lead her into the bedroom.Don’t be the guy that misses opportunities because he doesn’t act. That ain’t dominant. That be some pussy shit.
- Be Physical– Touch. A lot. Be a touchy-feely guy. Make physicality a part of your life. Touching others shows that you are comfortable with them and with yourself, and is a big sign of dominance.While it is good to touch early and often, make sure you’re not being creepy. A good way to avoid creeping a girl out is to make sure you don’t RUB or LINGER on her skin, unless you’re already mutually sexually interested in each other.
As you can see, these steps are concrete and, for the most part, easy to execute. Once you understand and apply these 6 tips, your results will go up dramatically.
Timidness Kills Attraction
While dominance serves to create and strengthen attraction, timidness will kill it faster than you can say “who lies more, men or women?” ELIMINATE timidness from your repertoire entirely. The only reason it is every okay to be timid is if you are facing a gunman who will shoot you if he feels threatened by you. And most women do not fit this description. So cut it the fuck out.
There you have it, lads. You NEED to be dominance, especially if you have stereotypes of being submissive working against you (Asian gentlemen, I’m talking to you!) These 6 straightforward steps will set you on the right direction towards fully ingraining yourself as a dominant male.
Now go forth, flirt, and caveman some ho’s!