Hey, Ozzie “the Latino Gentleman” here.
As the ABCs’ head coach for the Practical Day Game course, students come to me all the time asking for a blueprint of day game interactions. With the proverbial hat in hand, they bring with them a stream of questions ranging from how to continue a conversation with a girl to the classic, which is better during day game: Direct or Indirect approaches?
While some might argue that night game is more crazy, without a doubt, flirting with women– in the open no less, with everyone in the bookstore staring at your, during the day– can be super intense. There are a lot of thing to factor in that might not occur during the night.
For some people, Approach Anxiety (AA) can actually be higher during the day. For others, it might be the challenge of overcoming the anxiety of being watched and listened to by an audience or stared at by people passing by. Bottom line is there are obstacles and they are noticeable during the day.
Add all these together and we have a nervous guy who can spit out a opener whether indirect or direct, but then while trying to control his nerves simultaneously as he tries to move the conversation forward, we get someone who will not know what to say and fall into asking interview question. THIS IS A DEATH SENTENCE.
Now if you are not familiar with interview questions here are a few NOT TO DO:
You: “So what brings you out?”
Her: “I am picking up a book.”
You: “What book?”
Her: “Uhhh, anything that’s good?”
You: “You read a lot?”
Her: “Ughhh, maybe.”
You: “You like bookstores?”
There are a couple of ways we can avoid asking interview questions during the day so we can have a natural flowing conversation where we get to know each other.
–How To Continue a Conversation with a Girl Tip #1: Listen!!!–
The most important thing to keep the conversation going is to listen, use what she gives you and apply one of following the techniques.
If you are too caught up in your head you will miss all the opportunities that she is giving you to continue the conversation.
Slow down and pay attention.
–How To Continue a Conversation with a Girl Tip #2: Ask Open Ended Questions–
If you are going to ask a question make sure it is not a closed ended one. Never a simple, Yes or No binary solution.
You: “Do you like to read?”
Her: “Ugh, no, maybe, yes, why…”
By switching up our closed ended question to a open ended question we avoid having her give us a simple one word answer.
The open ended question will encourage her to give a full meaningful answer using her own feeling or knowledge.
- “What is it about a good book you enjoy so much?”
- “What prompted you to pick up a new book today?”
- “Why fiction over all the other genres?”
- “What’s the last good book you read?”
- “How did it make you feel?”
- “If you met your favorite author, what would you ask him?”
Ask questions that mean something to both you and her, but at the same time remain emotionally relevant and fun to talk about.
–How To Continue a Conversation with a Girl Tip #3: Answer Your Own Questions–
Tell her about yourself. For example you can let her know what you are up too instead of just asking what she is doing.
If you were going to ask, “What brings you out?” Just answer your own question.
So you would say, “I was on my way to meet a friend but she got stuck in traffic were are thinking of surprising my other friend with a puppy since she just got her own place.”
This gives some value first and goes in the “Wiki effect”* as we at the ABCs like to call it. It give her some option as to pick a topic and vibe off it. All these topics are not your generic interview questions, they actually lead away from that.
You can transition the conversation into:
- Surprise gifts
–How To Continue a Conversation with a Girl Tip #4: Story Tell After She Gives You a Response: Question Response Story–
This is where either being good at improvising your own stories on the fly or having your own stories prepared in advance come into play.
You: “You must be a transplant like everyone else in xyz city, where are you from?”
Her: “Back from the east coast.”
You: “Nice, I never been but one day I got 3 of my buddies together and convinced them that we should drive out to NYC. This was a Thursday night we got all our stuff together packed it in my car and started driving. We drove for almost 24 hrs straight and made it into Nebraska, we decided to relax and grab a bite and check out the night life. We pull into a diner with some people standing out in front and as ‘What is there to do here? Where can we go for the night
They looked at each other like they never been asked that before. They turned back around and say ‘Uhg, nothing like that here, but you can go cow tipping!’ ”
Once again this leads the conversation forward and avoids another interview question from being asked.
OK, that’s the basic blueprint of day game. Remember, Practical Day Game is about being grounded, real, authentic, and- most importantly- YOU. This is where you’ll be meeting really good girls with real interests, real brains, with real relationship and romantic options.