Over the years I’ve dispensed tons of useful information for Asian men – but I haven’t shared as much of my thoughts on dating advice for women when it comes to connecting with sexually attractive Asian men.
What are the sexual archetypes of Asian men that women are naturally drawn and attracted to? Do you fall under the category of a Bad Boy?
A Great Man?
or worse, an asexual Nice Guy?
For a variety of reasons, women find Bad Boys and Great Men the most sexually attractive of archetypes:
- Women date the Bad Boys sexual archetype because they feel like they can help change him and get emotionally charged because he’s not boring.
- Women date the Great Men sexual archetype because he holds himself to a higher standard and quality of living and she wants to be good enough for him.
Sadly, no one wants to date the Nice Guy because he’s both boring and sets low standards for himself. You can’t create sexual attraction if the man doesn’t have something unique and exciting going for him.
So this time, I’d like to give my female readers some friendly tips on how to filter out the great Asian men from the riff-raff.
First, we’ll discuss Great Men, some positive archetypes of Asian men you might find sexually attractive.
Millionaire Gentleman (“Mr. G6”)–
What sets the Millionaire Gentleman apart from the sugar daddy is how he uses his money: while a sugar daddy uses his money to control his woman, Mr. G6 has better things to do with his hard-earned money, such as investing in his business, the stock market, philanthropic causes and the finer things in life.
He knows that money will attract all kinds of women including the bad ones, but his prior experiences with gold-diggers will have made him wise to the advances of users and exploiters. This Great Man uses his resources to enjoy life and to the betterment of the people and world around him, not as a way to control or manipulate people.
It will take some effort to demonstrate that you are worthy of his company (and of course the corollary benefits his wealth brings), but once you gain his trust you will be sitting pretty. Because of this attitude, his wealth can only be a boon to you and the both of you as a couple.
Cherish and grow your relationship with your Asian millionaire (instead of exploiting him for his money), and together you can reach heights that you could never have imagined before.
Asian Over-achiever (“Mr. Perfect”) –
This is the Asian Golden Boy – the first cousin of the Mr. McDreamy. There are two types of Asian Over-Achievers: the first type is fiercely competitive and strive to be the best at everything they do, and this often translates to professional and social success. They often possess an impressive ‘resume’, often have active social lives, and are well-liked by peers.
Think of an Asian Prom King/Homecoming King, and you’re basically there.
The second type of Asian Over-Achiever can be the goody-two shoes kind of guy. You know what I’m talking about – this dude has been on high honor roll since birth and had a 4.0 from Kindergarten to grad school. They’re similar to the doctor/lawyer type, but need a little cleaning up to become good, dependable mates.
Don’t count on looking cool in the club, but you can brag to all your married friends about what a good husband he’ll make when he tries to out-do all the other married men in your social circle.
Dr./Lawyer (“Mr. McDreamy”) –
All parents dream of their daughters marrying prominent and respectable great men, and this type of Asian man is pretty much the Gold Standard, thanks to their chosen fields/professions. They offer a stable and overall prosperous lifestyle with their solid incomes, and the academic and professional contacts they amass over the years will no doubt have profoundly positive effects for you and especially your future children.
While there are obvious upsides to dating great men like the Asian doctor or lawyer, the one downside is that these individuals sometimes (though not always) lack developmental balance – they can be socially inept in other words, although sometimes you’ll be lucky enough to find a well-balanced Asian lawyer or doctor to take home to your parents. To mitigate this problem, you can ‘clean’ them up a little yourself; for example, you can help them by taking them to shop for new clothes, going to the gym together to improve their physique and fitness, or by encouraging them to step out of their shell.
Musclehead (“Mr. Stud Muffin”) –
A lot of Asian men are hitting the gym religiously these days, and maybe they’re motivated by past stereotypes about Asian men being effeminate and physically weak, therefore less sexually attractive. Whatever the reason, those hours at the gym are paying off with wash board abs on a glowing physique.
The one glaring downside of dating an Asian Musclehead is the potential narcissism; the Asian Musclehead is the second cousin of the Asian Hairista, and can be found preening in front of a mirror as well – except that they do it on the gym floor instead of the bedroom.
The obvious upsides are the feeling of protection and security a girl can get from being on the arm of a hulking, muscular Asian man, as well as the washboard abs and toned muscles. Muscleheads can be great men. I’m on the fence about this, but overall this is a good choice, as long as the Musclehead in question has layers to his personality – this will ensure that you enjoy the feeling of security with a strong man, but also enable you to be with an Asian man who has more to talk about than how many pounds he bench pressed that night. So as long has he has secondary interests outside of building muscle, this one is a good choice.
Kpop/Jrock (“Mr. Big Bang”) –
These days, there is a thriving international subculture of women who love stylish and beautiful men from Korean and Japanese media, and many young Asian men are emulating these actors and musicians in anticipation of this demand by females.
I personally think that a broad ‘fan base’ of women who love this look can only help Asian American men, since there is no distinct Asian ‘pop’ subculture equivalent in America. In addition, American notions of attractiveness in males are heavily skewed to suit Caucasian tastes (and lately African-American tastes, due to the explosion of hip-hop culture), and it never hurts to introduce a more diverse sexually attractive aesthetic to the American eye.
Hairista (“Mr. Metrosexual”)–
Hey, I know just as well as the next guy or girl that everyone wants to feel sexually attractive and good about themselves – and taking good care of your appearance is a great way to do it.
But you’ve got to wonder about people who spend an inordinate amount of time on maintaining physical appearances.
There are guys of every race who are very concerned about their appearance – in the case of many non-Asian men, the concern seems to fall largely on sculpting the largest, most ripped bodies possible, and in the case of many Asian men, their focus somehow seems to fall on their hair.
Maybe it’s the influence of anime-inspired hairstyles or the K-Pop and J-Drama stars with carefully teased and dyed bangs – who knows – but one thing is for sure: this type of Asian man is way into himself. So next time you get a chance – step back and check out the behavior of the guy you’re dating.
Does your Asian man check the weather report every day to check the humidity levels? Does he lose his hair(style) every time a stiff breeze blows by? Or is his day pack/travel kit literally bursting at the seams with hairspray and styling products? Maybe it’s time you consider upgrading to a less high-maintenance type of Asian man – someone who can lavish affection on you, instead of on himself.
Artsy (“Mr. Emo”) –
Great men are not always what you’d call sensitive. Sometimes, a girl just wants someone deeper – a man that understands art and passion – perhaps even a man of refinement and culture, who appreciates the finer things in life. I suppose it depends largely on what your own interests are: do you enjoy attending modern art exhibits, or conversations about art history over a meal?
Can you respect an Asian man who can’t tell the difference between a Jackson Pollack and your 3-year old cousin’s finger paintings?
If that’s the case maybe it only makes sense to look for an Artsy Asian man – after all, they are a rarer breed than Asian engineers or doctors. But also consider the practical implications of your choice to be with an Artsy Asian man. If he’s a man with a stable career with an interest in the above topics, you might have a winning ticket on your hands!
But if he’s artistic for a living, he could very well be broke for most of his life. Maybe you’ll be okay with this fact if you’re a high-powered businesswoman, attorney, doctor or heiress yourself, but if you don’t want to end up a sugarmomma then try pursuing Asian men with more stable careers.
Online Romancer (“Mr. Suave”) –
The Online Romancer can have many faces – he can range from witty and charming to a stoic man of very few words. However, one thing they all have in common is that the internet is their primary hunting grounds for a date.
While they can potentially be predators , there are just as many, if not more, shy yet decent men who honestly want to find a good woman but can’t pluck up the courage to ask out a sexually attractive woman in person.
The benefits to chatting with this kind of Asian man aren’t easy to see, but it happens organically – you gradually get to know each other and a kind of intellectual sexual attraction sparks off. The longer the e-romance, the more you know about him before you actually do meet (assuming you and he are completely honest with each other) – then after the face-to-face meeting, you can begin to fill in the blanks, so to speak.
In a sense, you get to fall in love with each other’s personalities and what you both have to offer other than looks. This could potentially set a strong foundation for a very stable, long-lasting relationship, with a bit of luck and good faith.
But what if you want to be more of a “Bad Boy?”
Check out part 2 where we cover “Bad boy” archetypes, and how to pick the best of the bad boys amongst Asian men.