Relationship Skills: How to Use ABCs of Attraction for Long Term Relationships

Different people sign up for the ABCs of Attraction bootcamp for different reasons.  In my case, I really just wanted to get a girlfriend. But even after you’ve used the ABCs structure to successfully find the girlfriend that you want, what do you do next? Where  does  the ABCs structure fit into the context of a relationship?  

I’m currently an ABCs of Attraction coach (and engaged to be married), but I was actually a bootcamp student like you only a few short years ago. Many of the obstacles that you may be facing today are the very same ones that I had to overcome throughout the course of my journey.  Today, I’m here as a guest writer to shed some light on these questions.

Before I took the bootcamp, I had no A-game whatsoever. I literally had no clue how to talk to girls, much less get a girlfriend. And the few girls that I did date in the past were girls that I allowed to mistreat me and walk all over me. But after taking the bootcamp and applying its principles and lessons in my everyday life, I eventually found an awesome girlfriend, and now, we are engaged to be married.

So if you’re wondering if it “works” or not, the answer is yes. But after getting into a relationship and developing my own relationship skills, I had a different set of concerns to think about:

  1. Now that I am in a relationship, how do I keep my girlfriend attracted to me?
  2. How do I get what I want out of the relationship?

Keeping her attracted to you

When I first learned how to meet girls, I almost felt like a giant curtain was lifted and I could see all the inner workings of social interactions laid out before me. It was a very empowering feeling to be able to find the girls that I wanted to meet, and choose to go on dates with the ones that I liked best. I was never able to do that in the past. But I later found that  meeting and dating lots of girls is actually easy. I could line up a few stories, use them over and over and over again different girls, and it would be fun for me, and for them, every time. Lots of girls wanted to date me, sleep with me, and be in a relationship with me, especially since I embraced the B Phase.  When you’re with one girl exclusively, it is not possible to use the same stories that you used the night before.

However, one of the fundamental principles taught during the bootcamp, C-comfort and connection,” is just as true for guys in relationships as it is for guys who are single.   In fact, your ability to execute this principle while your in a relationship is even more important than when you’re single. The execution of this  is a little different, but the principle remains the same.

As a guy in a relationship, you need to constantly create NEW comfort building stories. For example, if one of the stories you told her when you first met her centers on your passions in life, then you will need to continually go out and create new experiences (either by yourself or with her as a couple), and then share your feelings, thoughts, and reflections on those experiences with her from time to time as you take her out on various kinds of dates.”Naturals” do exactly this, but they don’t refer to these stories as “comfort building stories.” Instead, they refer to them as “what I did last weekend.”

Naturals already have fun, interesting, and exciting experiences to tell their girlfriends all the time. You may not be a natural, but you can do exactly what they do, and do it even better than they do it. I am living proof of that, and you can be too.So whether you call it a comfort building story, what you did last weekend, or something else, the bottom line is that you have to constantly build an awesome life for yourself, and then share your stories with her.

Getting what you want out of the relationship.

Don’t forget the D-Phase

Romance is as important six months into the relationship as it was five minutes after you said hello.

In order to get what you want out of the relationship after 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, or multiple years after you’ve started dating a girl, you will have to assert your requirements when you first start dating her as well as everyday that goes by while you are together. Getting what you want right now, starts with being up front from day one as you use the D Phase.  Want to have an open relationship? Start the relationship that way.

Make sure that she knows that you want to see other people while she is exclusive to you. To any guy who is not a true alpha-male, what I just said makes absolutely no sense because, after all, why the hell would a girl want to be in an exclusive relationship with you while you are allowed to go out and date other girls as much as you want? However, all ABCs of Attraction coaches, bootcamp graduates, and all other alpha-males in this world know that any girl would rather have ten minutes with a real alpha-male than a lifetime with a boy. An alpha male asserts what he wants from a girl in a way that is confident, sincere, and absolute.

Evaluation and Escalation continues through the relationship

Want to do frequent adventure trips? Start the relationship that way. If she won’t even go kayaking with you when you first start dating, your chances of having her support you on those adventure trips you love doing every month. So, the bottom line is if you’re in a relationship right now that you’re not happy with, that’s probably because you didn’t assert your requirements when you first started dating her. If that describes your situation, it would be better to stop seeing the girl today, and start living life the way you know it should be lived from this day forward. Assert your requirements. Be confident and sincere about it. Get what you want out of the relationship when it first begins so that you can continually get what you want for the rest of your life.

What does it mean to “assert your requirements?” What does it mean to “be confident and sincere about it?”

It means looking forward to the Future!

Just a few short years ago, these phrases were practically meaningless to me because I had absolutely no clue how a man should communicate his desires to himself, to his woman, and to everyone else around him. My uber-strict and uber-traditional Asian upbringing was completely void of even the remotest connection to the concepts of “asserting myself,” and “being confident.”

These are skills that I learned by taking an ABCs of Attraction bootcamp, and they are the same skills that I have taught to countless ABCs of Attraction bootcamp students after I became an instructor. If you’re not yet in a relationship and want to learn the skills necessary to get into one, or if you’re already in one that you’re not satisfied with and you’d like to figure out a way to un-stuck yourself, then sign up for a bootcamp today at http://www.abcsofattraction.com/programs.php