Ed's 30 Day Direct Challenge

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 14 - Day 1

I have noticed in the past month that I have been crippled by AA. It has gotten pretty serious, where I will have nights of freeze outs. It's something that has confused me because I had been progressing gradually in the right direction before.

So to resolve this issue, I have decided to do the 30 day direct challenge (http://www.abcsofattraction.com/communi ... t2022.html). My accountability partner is Kevin De Las Alas. He will be keeping me accountable through my blog posts (i.e. field reports) and while in field with me.

On top of the 30 day challenge, I have decided to concentrate mainly on day game, since, in day game the direct approach works best AND because people are busy walking around you do not have time to give into AA. You have to approach right away or the girl will be gone in the next second.

Overall this is what I learned today:
1. Day game is very different from night game.
Advantages:
a. Better quality women, in my opinion.
b. You can find the girl all alone.
Disadvantages:
a. AA is more intense. Day game is similar to when you are at a night club early and everyone else is looking at each other. No one wants to be the first person to make the first move.
2. I still take WAY too long to start (i.e. ~1.5hrs to do first set). Next time I approach right away.
3. For approaching from the front, give about 4 to 5 feet of distance before making eye contact and showing open palms to stop her.

Variables that I will be experimenting in future outings:
1. Approaching from the front vs. Kino turning from the back and just a little to the side.
2. Two types of openers:
a. Ask for directions and then switch to direct (i.e. "Excuse me do you know where xxx is?.. Actually, I can't lie. I asked that because I thought you were cute and wanted a way to stop you")
b. Straight direct (i.e. "I saw you walking by and I thought you were cute. I had to come meet you").

Set #1 - Brunette HB7
Location: Church, South of Gerrard
Time of approach: ~5:35pm
Approach
It took me a long time to start approaching. I started day game at 4pm and did the first approach around 5:35pm. I went direct.. "Hi. I saw you walking by and I thought you were cute. I just had to meet you. My name is Ed". She started smiling said "Thanks. My name is Kaitland" and stopped to hear what I had to say. I was actually caught off guard by this because she gave such a good reaction. I ended up flubbing the bantering portion.

What I felt after opening was a greater sense of confidence. I couldn't believe that it took me THAT long to start, since what I was afraid of was nothing at all.

What I did right
Stopped her correctly from the front
Slowed down my speech
Smiled on opening
Was able to consciously control my body language

What I did wrong
Was so happy with opening that I flubbed bantering

What I learned
Opening directly during the day is not so traumatic that I should be afraid to start opening.

Set #2 - Brunette HB7
Location: Church, just North of Dundas
Time of approach: ~5:40pm
Approach
"Hi. I saw you walking by and I thought you were cute. I just had to meet you. My name is Ed". She smiled. However, she said she had a bf. I said "Oh, okay. It was nice meeting you anyway. Have a good day".

What I did right
Stopped her correctly from the front
Slowed down my speech
Smiled on opening
Was able to consciously control my body language

What I did wrong
Still should have plowed through just for experience sake (i.e. should have said "So how long have you had that problem?")

What I learned
After approaching the first set, it was not a big deal to approach the second set right away. I didn't feel any rejection at all even when she said she had a bf.

For today I was not able to head out during the day. I had to deal with a last minute emergency that had me driving back and forth from Toronto to Buffalo. So I ended up heading out late at night (~midnight). I still said to myself that I had to at least do one direct set to keep up with the habit of approaching every day.

Overall this is what I learned today:
1. If I get a perceived IOI, I should still force an IOI (i.e. my eye contact and smile, smile + raise my glass, etc) before going direct. This allows me to test if it is okay to go ahead with the approach.
2. For night game, I am going to start off going indirect just to warm up. I was only looking for situations where I could go direct, which I think hampered me starting right away, thus wasting time.

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 15 - Day 2

Set #1 - Brunette HB8
Location: Drake Hotel
Approach
I was in the bar area of the underground (basement of Drake). I see a really cute HB8 making direct eye contact with me. I catch her doing that about 3 times. So I approach directly and ask what her name is. However, she is apprehensive and starts turning towards a guy standing in front of her with his back facing her. Turns out it's her bf. I eject by saying "It was nice meeting you".

What I did right
The actual approach was fine. Good body language, etc.

What I did wrong
Should have tested things out first with forcing an IOI.

What I learned
Should have tested things out first with forcing an IOI.

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 16 - Day 3

Since the weather was extremely bad today (i.e. crazy wind and rain), I went with another ABCs alum to Fairview Mall. I ended up approaching 1 set, which is not that impressive. In future outings, I am going to try to raise the bar to at least 2 sets. Then when I'm comfortable with the 2 set min, I will raise it to 3. And so on.

Overall this is what I learned today:
1. Need to push myself past the A phase. At this point I am pretty comfortable with the approach. I need to concentrate on lengthening the interaction.
2. Need to push myself to do more sets. I tend to look for the perfect opportunity to do a set. However, that should not be the case. It should be practicing the 3 second rule.
3. I also notice that I am only approaching brunettes. The challenge calls for me to mix things up - to approach all races. So I will be conscious of that the next time I'm out.

Set #1 - Brunette HB7
Location: Fairview Mall
Approach
While walking with my wing, I saw a really cute brunette walk into the Bay. She was very far away from us (~5metres). So I had to speed walk up to her to do the approach. I end up approaching her after she had left the mall. I approached her from the back by saying "Excuse me" and kino turning her by the inside elbow. I went direct by saying she was cute and I had to meet her.

What really surprises me is that women really do have a positive reaction to this type of approach. She smiled as I introduced myself. I ask what her name is (all the while remembering to relax my body language). She said (with a slight Russian accent) "it's Katerina". She went onto say that she cannot stay long because she is waiting for her parents to pick her up. I then ejected by saying "Well, it was nice meeting you anyway."

What I did right
The actual approach was fine. Good body language, etc.
Most importantly I didn't feel as nervous I have been the first couple of times I went out.

What I did wrong
Should have pressed more into B

What I learned
Remember to consciously put yourself into a relaxed state. This actually makes the girl feel more at ease.

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 17 - Day 4

Today did not go according to plan. The bottom line is that I did not do a direct approach. This was due to me having to do a crap load of paper work in order to get my US taxes in before the April 18th deadline and to helping out my bro in law with his passport. So Kevin, if you're reading this, I owe you $10.

The upside though is that I was able to # close a waitress for the first time. This was actually largely due to some friends who wanted to be my wings at dinner. To be honest, I had the limiting belief that it could not happen. But we kept on engaging her in conversation and she was very receptive to it. So at the end it was natural to ask for her number.

Overall this is what I learned today:
1. Anything is possible. You just got to keep pushing.

Set #1 - Scottish/Irish/Indian HB7
Location: Baton Rouge
Approach
Due to not being able to run errands during the day, I ended up calling two of my friends to head to Baton Rouge for dinner. Why Baton Rouge? Well, it's because they have a seared tuna dish that I keeping with the slow carb diet that I been trying out.

I meet up with one of my friends, Roy, at Baton and we get seated. My other friend, Rob, is running late. So we go ahead and order without him. I flag our waitress down and we begin to order. Since the Slow Carb diet is pretty strict, I end up asking the waitress to put everything on the side (i.e. salad dress, croutons, bacon bits, etc). She asks me if I'm on a diet. I start explaining the diet and how it's really strict during the week but the cheat day is a free for all. And that the cheat day actually helps burn fat during the week. The conversation started leading into different topics. However, she had to go and put in our orders.

After she left, Roy says "Dude, she's into you". I totally don't see it because hired guns are paid to be nice to you. I did however think she was cute but still had the limiting belief that it could not happen.

Banter/BT
Several times in the night she comes back and we engage her in different topics of discussion:
1. Silly questions about the meal.
2. Getting her to settle a debate between all of us of what ethnicity she is. We find out that she's Irish/Scottish on her mom side and Indian on her dad's side. We also find out that she studied at McGill for Asian History (Chinese and Japanese.)
3. Getting her opinion on a relationship situation that happened to my friend Roy.

All the times that we engaged her, Rob kept on highlighting good things about me, which helped as a DHV. Also, the topics that we started off with lead to different topics of conversation, which made things flow naturally.

Comfort
The final time we engaged her in conversation, I did all the talking and she sat down on the table next to our booth. I upped the amount of teasing and joking around which made her feel more relaxed.

Direct
After the bill came, I coordinate with my friends to have them leave. The plan is to have my pay for dinner and then they pay me back afterwards. She sees me by myself and she smiles. I told her that my friends were in a rush and I would pay for them for now. I then ask her if she works every Sunday. She says "Yes. Why are you planning on visiting me again ". I then say "Actually, I WOULD like to talk to you again. You should give me your number." She said she would like that too and gives me her number. While getting her number, I say "Well, it's only because I want to learn more about Chinese history. It's strictly for educational purposes." After she gives me her number, we chit chat a little more and I say goodbye to her.

What I did right
Kept on engaging her in interesting banter
Kept things light at the end
Leave off on a high

What I did wrong
Had the limiting belief that it could not happen

What I learned
Try to keep on plowing through if you really want the girl

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 18 - Day 5

I was running out of time today. I ended up going to Fairview mall to do two quick approaches. For this day, I tried to push a little more into the B phase.

Overall this is what I learned today:
1. I really need to plan out transitioning into the B phase. I find that I run out of things to say right after the approach.

Set #1 - Brunette HB6
Location: Outside the public library
Approach
Approached from the front and did the direct opener after stopping her. She had this weird, uncomfortable smile on her face. I still kept on pushing into B. I thought, it was all for experience sake.

Banter/BT
Started bantering however she kept on walking. I did not follow her. I ejected from the conversation.

What I did right
Stopped her and delivered the opener.

What I did wrong
Did not follow up well.

What I learned
On the times that I don't open well, I should still push the interaction just for experience sake.

Set #2 - Russian Blonde HB7
Location: Sheppard/Don Mills
Approach
Approached from the front and did the direct opener after stopping her.

Banter/BT
Bantering was tough because she is visiting from Russia and her English is not that good. I did small chit chat as to why she is in Toronto and what she is doing at the moment. She was trying to figure out how to get back to Richmond hill, where she is staying. The conversation died out pretty quickly and I ejected.

What I did right
Stopped her and delivered the opener.

What I did wrong
Did not follow up well.

What I learned
On the times that I don't open well, I should still push the interaction just for experience sake.

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 19 - Day 6

I was crazy busy today. I ended up running out of time. I did not do an approach.

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 20 to 26 - Day 7 to 13

I have been lazy with my field reports. However, I have been getting more consistent results as of late. I am starting to push past just the opener and actually have fun bantering. Also, the fear of doing direct approach during the day has lost some of its sting. What also helped is that I have been sarging with a wing that has the same unbending desire to be good at day game, since April 21st. I can't stress how important it is to have a wing that is both positive and fun to be around. It really lightens your state.

Overall this is what I learned from April 20th to April 25th:
1. I need to consistently approach every day. Otherwise, my AA is much bigger the next time I go out.
2. Having a good wing really helps your state in between sets. Otherwise, you will be inside your head the whole time.
3. Slow down speech + adding in pauses helps to relax both me and the girl.
4. Relaxing my body language also relaxes me. However, I do still need to remember to have my shoulders back and chest out.

Notes:
1. When I say "I approached from the back" it means that I approached from the back and a little to the side of her. Then as I say "Excuse me", I kino turn her using the inside elbow of the arm that is closest to me.
2. When I say something like "I went direct", it means that I said the following: "Excuse me, I say you walking by and I thought you are absolutely beautiful. I had to come meet you. Hi, I'm Ed."

Wednesday April 20, 2011
========================
Location: Yorkdale
Set #1 - Persian HB8
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. She did not open that well. She thanked me and kept walking.

What I did right
Even though she was still walking forward, I planted my feet and did not follow her.

What I did wrong
Weak kino turn.
Did not make the interaction fun and light

What I learned
I need to keep on approaching at least once a day because if you don't the next time your AA will be greater.

Thursday April 21, 2011
=======================
Location: Eaton Centre
Set #1 - Brunette HB7
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. I noticed that my kino turn was not strong enough because I was not squared up to her. Her feet were still pointed in the direction she was walking in. She basically spoke to me over the shoulder. So she ended up walking off shortly after the opener.

What I did right
Even though she was still walking forward, I planted my feet and did not follow her.

What I did wrong
While approaching her, she saw me from her peripheral. So she already had her guard up while talking to me.

What I learned
When girls can sense you around them, they immediately are turned off. It gives off that creepy vibe.

Location: Church/Gerrard, close to Ryerson
Set #2 - Brunette HB6 (Kristalee)
Approach
My wing and I were walking north on Church when I saw a cute Brunette. I let her pass us, looped back and approached her from the back. I delivered the direct opener. She smiled and said thank you and introduced herself as Kristalee. I then went on to ask her what she was up to today. Off into bantering...

Banter/BT
We did some light chit chat about interior design, since she is an interior design student. I made sure to hi5. She then had to guess what I did, which she actually got right. It was a short interaction which ended off with me # closing her. I would admit that it was a weak # close because: 1) the conversation did not flow as smoothly as I would have liked and 2) I did not time bridge.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
BT spiked using hi5

What I did wrong
Did not kino
Did not make the conversation as light and fun as possible

What I learned
Remember to kino and also have fun! The girl is more engaged in the interaction that way.


Friday April 22, 2011
=====================
Location: Eaton Centre
Set #1 - Blonde HB8
Approach
My wing and I were walking in Eaton Centre when I saw HB8 walk by us. I looped back and approached from the back. I went direct. She smiled and stopped to hear what I had to say.

Banter
I noticed that she was carrying a crap load of shopping bags. So I said "So what are you up to?.. Besides shopping like a maniac, of course ". She laughed and said that she is in Toronto for a convention. We then talked about Toronto and Newfoundland (where she is from). I quickly realized that she would not be someone that I would want to keep in contact with simply because she was just here for the weekend. So I ejected and said that it was nice to meet her.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Did not waste my time with someone I could not game later

What I did wrong
Did not kino
Did not make the conversation as light and fun as possible

What I learned
Remember to kino and also have fun! The girl is more engaged in the interaction that way.

Set #2 - Persian HB7
Location: Yonge/Shuter
Approach
My wing and I were walking south on Yonge, just outside of Eaton Centre. I saw a beautiful Persian woman walk out of one of the shops along Yonge. I looped back and approached from the back. I went direct. She give me a cold reaction. I said "I am married" - something that I had missed because her coat sleeve was covering her rings. I said "Oh okay. It was nice to meet you anyway." and ejected.

What I did right
Did not waste my time with someone I could not game later

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
The awesome thing about day game is that if it doesn't go well with one girl, the next one is around the corner. So I don't have a waste time in a 20min set to nowhere.

Set #3 - Brunette, Green/Blue eyes Irish HB9
Location: Queen/University
Approach
As we walked West on Queen, I saw an absolutely gorgeous Brunette on the other side of the street heading East. We all crossed the street to where HB9 was. As the East/West lights turned green, she started walking to the other side of University. I started following behind her. I timed it so that I would approach from the back on the other side of University.

Since University is so wide, she definitely heard me coming from behind. So went I finally did the opener, she still had her feet pointed away from me and was ready to leave. I only got a chance to introduce myself when she said that she was only here for a day and was in a rush. When she said that though, she had a thick Irish accent, which was incredibly sexy.

What I did right
Nothing

What I did wrong
Hesitated which allowed her to see me coming a mile away

What I learned
Don't hesitate. Have to practice the 3 second rule.

Saturday April 23, 2011
=======================
Location: Fairview Mall
Set #1 - Blonde HB9
Approach
I approached HB9 from the back and delivered the direct opener. I asked her what she was up to. This lead into bantering.

Banter
She said she was at the mall to meet up with some friends. I said to her that I am also with friend. However, I left them to talk to her and that is the type of sacrifices that I'm willing to do for her. She laughed at that. I said that I needed to get back to my friends. But I would love to stay in contact with her. I said that she should give me her number and that's when she said she had a bf. I said "That's awesome. He can make us breakfast in the morning". She laughed and said she couldn't give out her number. I said that's she breaking my heart but it was nice to meet her. We said goodbye after that.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kept bantering light and fun even when she said she had a bf
Kino'd
Still bantered even though she pulled out the bf card
Left on a high

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
Try to stay relaxed and have fun with the conversation.

Set #2 - Brunette HB7.5 (Kristine)
Location: Fairview
Approach
I approached HB9 from the back and delivered the direct opener. I asked her what she was up to. This lead into bantering.

Banter
We made chit chat about her working at the mall and that I had to leave my friends to talk to her. I said I would love to keep in contact with her. I # closed her. However, I still kept on talking to her about what she likes to do outside of work. I told her that I like to head out to bars and lounges once in a while with friends... That's when I found out she is 17.. I deleted her number right after.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kept bantering light and fun even when she said she had a bf
Kino'd

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
Jail is not a place I want to be

Set #3 - Brunette HB9 (Ariana)
Location: Fairview
Approach
I saw HB9 walk through a crowd with a dolly she was lugging behind. I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener and also said she had a kickass dolly. She laughed and opened up really well. She had a smile beaming across her face. So that gave me confidence to relax and enjoy talking to her.

Banter
I told her that I am sacrificing time with friends to talk to her and that's something I am willing to do. We talked about how she is going to love downtown Toronto when she starts uni in the fall. I said that I needed to get back to my friends and that I would love to keep in contact with her. I got her number and gave her a hug goodbye... I am texting with her and will meet up with her this Sunday.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kept bantering light and fun even when she said she had a bf
Kino'd

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
Just to relax everything and try to enjoy talking to her girl.

Set #4 - Blonde HB9.5
Location: Queen St, close to Eaton Centre
Approach
My wing and I were walking along Queen when a model quality blonde walk right past us. I had great hesitation because this is literally one of the hottest women we both have ever seen. I then said F it and started looping back to approach her. I approached from the back but my kino turn was not strong enough. Her feet were still in the direction she originally was in. We talked for just a little bit but it quickly died down. So I said it was nice to meet her and ejected.

What I did right
Body language was good

What I did wrong
Weak kino

What I learned
Even though the girl is smokin hot, I should not hesitate to approach

Set #5 - Redhead HB7.5
Location: Queen/McCaul
Approach
HB7.5 was looking at flowers at a convenience store right at the corner. I approached from the back and went direct. I asked her what she was up to besides buying flowers. She didn't give much in terms of interaction, so I ejected by saying it was nice to meet her.

What I did right
Body language was good

What I did wrong
Did not kino

What I learned
Nothing really.

Sunday April 24, 2011
=====================
Location: Shops at Don Mills
Set #1 - Blonde HB6
Approach
I didn't not get to do an approach all day, since everything was closed for Easter Sunday. But I was determined to get at least one in. I went out to dinner with a friend. As I came out of the restaurant, I saw HB6 walking on the side walk. It was quite late at night so she heard me approaching from the back a mile away. When I kino turned her, she was a little shocked. At that point I didn't care. I just went direct and introduced myself. She said thank you and kept on walking.

What I did right
Technically things were fine. However, I was approaching late at night so she heard me coming from the back. So she got freaked.

What I did wrong
She heard me from a mile away.

What I learned
Nothing really.


Monday April 25, 2011
=====================
Location: Yorkdale Mall
Set #1 - Blonde HB7 (Valerie)
Approach
I approached her from the back and went direct. She smiled and said thank you. I asked her what she was doing today.

Banter
I then said that "I left my friends to go talk to her. See the types of sacrifices I do for you?" She laughed at that. I said I needed to get back to my friends but would love to keep on contact with you. She said she does not give her number out. I said "Aw, you're breakin my heart. But it was nice to meet you anyway".

What I did right
Approach and body language was fine.

What I did wrong
I was a little nervous.

What I learned
Need to consciously calm down when in set.

Location: Yorkdale Mall
Set #2 - Brunette HB7
Approach
I approached her from the back and went direct. She smiled and said thank you. I asked her what she was doing today.

Banter
This was the longest set of the day. We bantered about random things such as teaching (since she's a teacher), iphone vs. blackberry, our ages (she's 28), etc. I was fun and light conversation. She doesn't give out her number but she takes down mine. I joke and say that she is really good at pick up: She already has my digits. We end off hugging it out.

What I did right
Approach and body language was fine.
Kept banter light and fun
kino'd + spun girl

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
Slowing down speech, adding pauses and relaxing myself, relaxes the girl.

Location: Yorkdale Mall
Set #3 - Blonde HB8
Approach
I approached her from the back and went direct. She smiled and said thank you. I asked her what she was doing today.

Banter
She said she was heading back to work at Juicy Couture. I said "Awesome.. I have absolutely no comment on your products ". She smiled and said that it's a woman's store. I said that I have to get back to my friend but would love to keep in contact with her. She said she was seeing someone. I said that was great. He can make us breakfast in the morning. She laughed but still did not want to give out her number. I said okay it was nice meeting you though.

What I did right
Approach and body language was fine.
Kept banter light and fun
Still kept on going even after she said she was seeing someone

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
Slowing down speech, adding pauses and relaxing myself, relaxes the girl.

Location: Yorkdale Mall
Set #4 - Blonde HB7 (Sabina)
Approach
I approached her from the back and went direct. She had a bad reaction. I still introduced myself. However, when she said her name, I saw that she had a wedding ring on. I then said to her "Well, it was good meeting you. Have a great day." and ejected.

What I did right
Approach and body language was fine.
Did not waste time.

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
Shouldn't waste my time with women who are married or I find out I am not attracted to while in set.

Location: Yorkdale Mall
Set #4 - Brunette HB8 (Laura)
Approach
I was feeling a little faint because I had not eaten anything for a while. I went with my wing to get some food. While in the food court, I see a really cute brunette with great style (glasses, turquoise scarf, and turquoise rain boots) eating by herself. I took a seat far away from HB8 where I could still see if she gets up.

While talking to my wing and eating my meal, I see her get up. I said to my wing that I would be back. I let her go about 10ft ahead of me down the escalator. Once we were on the lower floor, I approach from behind and go direct. She opens up well. I ask her what she is up to.

Banter
She was there just wandering around. I said that I was actually with my friend but had to leave him to come meet her and that's the type of sacrifice that I was willing to make. She laughed at that. I then said I have to get back to my friend but would love to keep in contact with her. She gave me her number. We chit chatted for a bit and as I was saying goodbye, I said "Okay, let's hug it out". She laughed and hugged me.

Note: As my wing and I left Yorkdale, I saw her again. It could have been an awkward situation. However, I smiled, waved at her and did the telephone hand gesture while mouthing "call me". She laughed at that which helped when I started texting her later on in the night.

What I did right
Approach and body language was fine.
Kept things light and fun
Good kino turn
Kino'd while talking

What I did wrong
Nothing

What I learned
I really need to push myself to try to think up funny/interesting things to say on the spot. This really helps relax the girl and also prolongs the set.


Tuesday April 26, 2011
======================
Location: Scarborough Town Centre
Before I write about the sets at STC, I need to say that I will never head to STC again for day game. The place is filled with grenades. Unlike Yorkdale and Fairview, it was really tough to find quality women that me and my wing genuinely wanted to approach.

Location: STC
Set #1 - Indian HB7
Approach
Approached from the back and went direct. She said thank you and said she had to go. I said okay and let her go.

What I did right
Kino turned + delivered the opener

What I did wrong
I think I didn't push enough in to bantering. Next time I'm out I'm going to experiment with not letting the girl go so quickly.

What I learned
I let girls off the hook too quickly. I need to figure out a smooth way to draw them back into the interaction.

Location: STC
Set #2 - Brunette HB6
Approach
Approached from the back and went direct. She did not respond well. After the introduction I decided to eject by saying it was nice to meet you, since I felt she was not worth the time while I was in set.

What I did right
Kino turned + delivered the opener

What I did wrong
Nothing.

What I learned
Don't waste time with women you don't want.

Location: STC
Set #3 - Middle Eastern HB7
Approach
This one did not go as planned. I was about to approach from the back but she suddenly turned around. It threw me off. I ended up going direct on her from the front. She had a bad reaction to it. So after I asked her what she is up to, she said she is working and kept on walking away.

What I did right
Nothing.

What I did wrong
I should have just let her past me and approached from the back afterwards.

What I learned
You can always set up a situation where you're approaching from the back.

Hey Ed! I didn't even realize you decided to take on the 30 day challenge. Good for you, man! Hang in there, it will definitely change your game for the better.

By the way, after reading your posts, I just wanted to add a few things that might help.

When approaching a woman, refrain from using the words "excuse me", "pardon me", "sorry to bother you", etc. Just go up to the woman, kino, and give your direct opening line. Sometimes I like to start out with "Hey, I know this is random but..." or "I saw from over there and I had to come over and say..."; I believe that if you refrain from being so polite at the beginning of the interaction, you come off as more dominant. You end up being seen as a man who sees something he likes and goes for it.

Also, obviously I can't see you do your approaches and watch your body language and facial expressions, but remember to make a conscious effort to remove approval seeking behavior. Women can sense it, especially by those who ask too many questions. You seem to be doing good at avoiding this based on what I'm reading.

Lastly, when going direct you must remember to bring your guard down completely. This means when going direct, you need to say it like you mean it. Say it with some passion. It helps. Sometimes we get so nervous and we end up saying our direct line almost robotically. When you say she is gorgeous, beautiful, etc.... You have to make her believe you mean it.

Anyways, Good job, Ed. Did you look into that book I recommended for comfort?

Thanks Mike. To be honest, I haven't looked into the book. I'll take a look at it the next time I'm out though. I will try to eliminate "Excuse me" and try "Hey, I know this is random..". Question though: Do you tend to approach from the front or the back?

Thirty Day Direct Challenge - April 27 to May 1 - Day 14 to 18

Day game is getting easier for me. I am really seeing what I need to do to get # close. I notice that if I don't do everything that is listed in #1 of "Overall this is what I learned from April 27th to May 1st", the set does not go well. What I want to do next in the progression of my day game is the following:
1. Start doing sets that include more than just a single girl.
2. Try to go deeper into conversation. (i.e. talk about interests and add in dhv stories to build more of a connection)
3. Try to head into comfort (i.e. instant dates)

Overall this is what I learned from April 27th to May 1st:
1. All of the following must happen in order to consistently number close:
a. Perfect kino turn from the back.
b. Relaxed body language.
c. Slow down speech and add in pauses.
d. Kino while making points while speaking.
e. Must make the girl laugh + add in other BT spikes (e.g. hi5, fist pounds, etc)
2. Number closes seem to lead to girls that are interested (i.e. answer text's right away and are willing to meet up). Need to capitalize on this by setting up a day 2 right away. Otherwise, emotional state goes down and flakes occur.
3. Things I need to improve on:
a. Time bridging before getting the number so I don't waste time
b. Try to go for instant dates.
c. Possibly stack canned openers after talking about what they are doing at the moment.
d. Work on conversation structure while in set: What they are doing => What they do for a living => What they do for fun => Time Bridge => # close
e. Figure out a way to still number close even if they say they have a BF.
f. If I do get blown out, try to end off on a high (e.g. hug it out). The purpose of this is to still give a positive image of Asian guys to women so that helps out any other Asian guy who approaches her.

Notes:
1. When I say "I approached from the back" it means that I approached from the back and a little to the side of her. Then as I say "Excuse me", I kino turn her using the inside elbow of the arm that is closest to me.
2. When I say something like "I went direct", it means that I said the following: "Excuse me, I say you walking by and I thought you are absolutely beautiful. I had to come meet you. Hi, I'm Ed."

Wednesday April 27, 2011
========================
Location: Yorkdale
Set #1 - Brunette HB7 (Blowout: Needed to head to work)
Set #2 - Blonde HB8 (Blowout: Has a BF)
Set #3 - Brunette HB6 (Blowout: Heading to work)
Set #4 - Persian HB7 (Blowout: Started her on kino turn. Could not recover after that)
Set #5 - Brunette HB8 (Nicole - Blowout: Cold reaction upon kino turn. Could not recover.)
Set #6 - Brunette HB8 (Blowout: Had a better reaction because I started to relax myself. But was still nervous.)
Approach
All the sets listed above were blow outs. All the sets had the same approach: Approach from back and go direct.

What I did right
Nothing

What I did wrong
Weak kino turn
Got nervous and spoke too quickly

What I learned
After looking at my results from this day, I realized I was doing the same mistake on all the sets: Not slowing down my speech, adding pauses and relaxing my body. So no matter how nervous I am, I need to relax my speech, add in pauses and relax my body language. I started to correct this in the following day.

Thursday April 28, 2011
=======================
Location: Square One
Set #1 - Blonde HB9
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. She opened up well (e.g. smiled), since I made the changes following the blow outs from the previous day.

Banter
I basically talked about what she was up to today and told her the story of how I had left my friends for a bit to talk to her. She laughed at that. I said that I needed to get back to my friends but would love to keep in contact with her. She said she was sorry because she has a bf. I told her that it was awesome because he could make us breakfast in the morning. She laughed at that but politely declined. I said it was nice to meet her and ejected.

What I did right
The entire approach

What I did wrong
Need to figure out a way to get past the bf excuse.

What I learned
Making the changes that I identified from the previous day makes a world of a difference.

Set #2 - Blonde HB7 (Tammy)
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. She opened up well (e.g. smiled), since I made the changes following the blow outs from the previous day.

Banter/BT
We did some light chit chat about what she was doing at the moment and her work - she works at Mac. We talked a little more about personal interests. I # closed her and ended off 'hugging it out'.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kino'd while talking
Conversation was light and fun

What I did wrong
Did not time bridge

What I learned
Remember to kino and also have fun! The girl is more engaged in the interaction that way. Also need to incorporate time bridging.

Set #3 - Blonde 8.5 (Blowout: Electric shocked her on kino turn. Could not recover after that.)
Set #4 - Blonde 8.5 (Blowout: Said excuse me before kino turning. Was also nervous and did not control my state.)
Set #5 - Brunette 7 (Blowout: Did not open well. Has bf. Should've still bantered for experience sake.)
Set #6 - Blonde 8 (Blowout: Did not open well. Has bf. Should've still bantered for experience sake.)

Friday April 29, 2011
=====================
Location: Yorkdale
Set #1 - Brunette HB6 (Remy)
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. She opened up well (e.g. smiled), since I made the changes following the blow outs from the April 27.

Banter
Talked about what she was up to - she was waiting for her ride since she just got off work. We chit chatted about places to go in Toronto because she mentioned that she heads out with her friends quite a bit. I then # closed her, mentioned that my friend Kevin sets up "Dive bar Fridays" and that she should come out. We finished off by hugging things out, which left off on a high.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
kino'd
Stretched out the interaction.
Made things light and fun

What I did wrong
Should've time bridged
Should go more into comfort

What I learned
Need to time bridge and head into comfort.

Set #2 - Blonde HB6
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. She opened up well but was suspicious that I said she was beautiful. It still didn't matter because she said it made her day.

Banter
Talked about what she was up to - She was heading to her break from work. I told her of how I left my friends to come talk to her and she laughed at that. I went for the # close but she said she had a bf. I told her that was awesome because he could make us breakfast in the morning. She laughed but politely declined. We hugged it out and I said goodbye to her.

What I did right
Left on a high

What I did wrong
Did not push further after she mentioned she has a bf.

What I learned
The changes made from the 27th did wonders.

Set #3 - Brunette HB7 (Katia)
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. She was a little suspicious but still opened well.

Banter
It was a good interaction. I found out she was visiting from Calgary. So the conversation naturally flowed into things to do in Toronto, how Toronto compares to Calgary and traveling. I # closed her and hugged it out.

What I did right
Kept the interaction interesting and fun
Kino'd
Kept her comfortable

What I did wrong
Did not push to head into comfort
Did not push for a time bridge. It should have been the obvious thing to do because she's visiting from Calgary.

What I learned
Need to push the interaction further.

Saturday April 30, 2011
=======================
Location: Queen St (Close to City Hall)
Set #1 - Brunette HB6 (Amber)
Approach
I approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. I asked her what she was up to. This lead into bantering.

Banter
Found out she was heading to UFC 129 later on that evening. It was an instant click topic because I am a big MMA fan. I also told her about when I used to live in Cali and trained at AKA. She also trains as well, but is more of a grappler. I # closed her and hugged it out.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kept bantering light and fun even when she said she had a bf
Kino'd

What I did wrong
Did not time bridge. Looking back, I could've suggested that I am going to check out Toronto BJJ and that she should come out.

What I learned
Need to time bridge and try to push for comfort.

Set #2 - Brunette HB7 (Blowout: Did the approach while in the middle of a cross walk and she was on the phone)

Set #3 - Blonde HB7 (Jennifer)
Location: Yonge/Dundas
Approach
I was eating Belgium waffles when I saw a pretty blonde walking outside. I ran out the door, approached her from the back and delivered the direct opener. I asked her what she was up to. This lead into bantering.

Banter
Turns out she was shopping for an outfit for when she goes out later that evening. I said that I literally dropped a delicious waffle to come talk to her. She laughed at that. We chit chatted about places to go in Toronto. I told her I needed to head back and said I would love to keep in contact with her. I then # closed her and hugged it out.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kept bantering light and fun even when she said she had a bf
Kino'd

What I did wrong
Should time bridge

What I learned
Women love the fact that you dropped what you are doing to come talk to them. I always get a laugh when I tell them how I came out to talk to them.

Set #4 - Brunette HB8 (Blowout: Scared her during Kino)
Set #5 - Blonde HB8 (Blowout: Did not kino turn properly - I ended up leaning in to do the kino.)
Set #6 - Blonde HB7 (Blowout: Did not fully stop her during kino turn)

Set #7 - Brunette HB7 (Aimee, Irish)
Location: Just West of Queen/Bathurst
Approach
I was walking with a wing that did not approach all day. I saw a pretty Brunette walking our way. I said to my wing "Ok, this one is yours". She past us but he did not approach her. By the time she said to me he would not approach, she was about 20m away from us. I said "Fuck it".. and ran to reach her. I approached from the back and went direct. She opened very warmly.

Banter
After the introduction, I had to get her to repeat her name because I could not understand her accent. She said her name again and apologized because she said she's from Dublin. The conversation naturally flowed to one of my favourite topics: traveling. I found out she is quite the traveler and quite an intelligent girl. The conversation was fun and light. It lasted for about 10-15min. I # closed her and hugged it out.

What I did right
Turned the girl so that she was squared to me
Pushed into bantering
Kept bantering light and fun even when she said she had a bf
Kino'd

What I did wrong
Should have time bridged

What I learned
Just to relax everything and try to enjoy talking to her girl.


Sunday May 1, 2011
==================
Location: Fairview
Set #1 - Persian HB7
Approach
Feeling burnt out from doing day game every day, I just wanted to do a single approach and head home to watch UFC 129 I saw a really pretty Persian woman walking past me. I looped back, approached from the back and went direct. She had a big smile on her face. I asked her what she's up to today. She said she was waiting for her bf. Since I just wanted to go home, I said "Oh, okay. It was nice meeting you. Have a great day." and ejected.

What I did right
Everything in the approach

What I did wrong
Was not interested in pushing forward

What I learned
The changes made from the 27th makes a big difference in terms of sticking the approach.