Joined: 10 Jan 2011, 16:04 Posts: 84
Bootcamp Graduate: YES (BC: Miami, March 2011)
So I'm 7 months post bootcamp, and I'm definitely in a better point in my life now, but I've definitely hit a stumbling block that I need to blow by. My goal is not to become a pick up artist, but it is for me to be able to meet and be able to approach attractive girls in my daily routine. Get a solid number, set up a day 2, and kiss close if not F-close on that date. That's pretty much how most people in the everyday world hook up, start relationships, etc. I want to be as much like a natural to the point where no one could tell the difference. I have gotten a lot better at situational openers so as to appear friendly and casual, but this has a downside, it means that I need to show that I'm sexual later in the set. Two recent sets highlight this really well.
Set 1: So I was at an indie rock concert, and I casually opened a few sets. They went well to varying degrees, didn't find any of them too attractive, but it was good to be social, lose the AA, and just have interesting conversations. While waiting for the headliner to come on, I noticed this cute short Latina HB7. I couldn't imagine her actually being able to see over the 6ft dude in front of her, so I said that and offered her to switch spots with me. She smiled and said she was okay. We chatted, mostly small talk. We bonded over the assholes pushing through to the front. One guy parked himself right in front of her, and we both gave each other a "wtf" look and I told the douche to move. An alpha and gentlemanly thing to do. All throughout this, I knew I needed to go sexual, but I just couldn't. My thinking was that ok, we've already built rapport, I can just get her number and set up a day 2. We both enjoyed the concert and I asked for her number when we left. I texted the next day and said I was going to be at this bar crawl and she should join. She said she might be in that area, but then a no-show. A few more of these and I could tell a day 2 was pretty unlikely.
Set 2: I was flying back home, and I saw this cute black HB6.5 with the name of my alma mater on it. She was sitting with earphones by herself, and I didn't approach. Lucky me, when I got on the plane she entered in the seats across from me. I opened with did you go to X school? She said yea and we hit it off talking about our school. I put in some teasing, but nothing really flirtatious. When she asked me what type of medicine I'm interested in, I have this line "I want to do plastic surgery, to give every woman the perfect ass." I totally chickened out on saying the line because we were on an airplane with everyone to hear. We continued talking on the plane and when we got off, she was dragging one of her bags. Instead of being alpha and saying "Give that to me." I asked if she wanted me to carry it. Still get the same brownie points, but one shows that it's on my terms and that I'm dictating things. Anyway I got her number and did the Gareth text close "Save this number..." She replied "lol I will" I texted her 2 days later just saying how she's enjoying home, and I got no response.
In both sets, I didn't push the interaction enough, simply by not talking enough and also by not being sexual enough. I got initial responses with texts but nothing after that. Recently I've been good with numbers but they don't turn into anything. They do respond to my initial texts, but when I try to set up day2's they fall through. I'm following Gareth's text to sex format, so I don't think it's my phone/text game, although it can always improve. So I think the problem is that I build rapport with the girl to the point "this guy is cool and interesting and I wouldn't mind seeing him again" instead of to the point where "this guy turns me on and I definitely want to see him again." Thoughts my ABCs brothers?
Post subject: Re: Text to Sex Fail
Posted: 21 Oct 2011, 23:45
Joined: 10 Sep 2011, 00:18 Posts: 67
Sounds like you are getting some good practice in meeting girls.
For most guys, hooking up with girls, imo, is like sales. A salesman will need to approach 10 customers in order to make one sale.
Thus, just because you are interested in a girl does not mean that she is attracted to you.
With practice, you will be more comfortable with yourself and what you do will become more and more natural.
I never did understand texting. Why text when you have her phone number to talk to her? I hate texting because so much is lost in written words...especially when first getting to know one another. Inflection, intonation, tonal qualities, rhythm are all lost in written stuff. Plus, that crap is around forever. Just ask Tiger Woods.
The human voice conveys so much. Just with a simple hello, one can tell if they are excited to hear from you or have had a bad day.
You will know when a girl answers, knowing it is you, with a sexy sultry 'hello' that texts blow.
Now, sexting once you are in a relationship is completely different. Why? Because you can HEAR the other persons voice in your head as you are reading the texts.
So, do not despair with two seemingly failed attempts at hooking up. I've eaten more big macs in one sitting than that. Yeah, it was a bet. Ugh.
Post subject: Re: Text to Sex Fail
Posted: 23 Oct 2011, 14:09
Joined: 05 Aug 2011, 12:01 Posts: 68 Location: cleveland ohio
Bootcamp Graduate: LA Oct 2011
Im a newbie. I got this attitude. I will keep making the effort whenever and wherever possible and enjoy the moment. Part of the experience is refining and perfecting your approach. Instead of seeing the negative, congratulate yourself on trying. Heck, its a kick for me to know that I can share even a little bit of time with someone I find appealing.
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