How do you incorporate romance into a conversation?

So I've been getting several responses saying that my talent in weaving words into romantic forms of wonder is not exactly recommended when approaching a girl. I've done poetry, romantic and artistic works that will make a girl sigh seven times and seven times more. I won my 2nd girlfriend that way. And I've been praised by my peers saying that it's my greatest talent. And now for some reason, it's been said that it should not be utilized in the ABCs model, which is frustrating, because one of my greatest strengths cannot be put to use, kind of like asking you to duel someone in a sword fight without your sword. Mind you, it's not my only strength, I've got daggers and other small weapons hidden up my sleeve that could demonstrate my DHV, but one of my main tools is rendered useless, kind of like asking Jester to approach a girl without using humor. I'm sure he could still do it, but I'm sure he'll be feeling like he's lost a great part of himself.

The reasons some people say romance shouldn't be used to attract a girl are as follows:

1. It's generic and ofttimes cheesy
2. It can come off as creepy

It's come from both guys and girls, with mixed responses, but quite a lot of negatives. But I can't completely get rid of it, because it's part of my personality, it's who I am. I'm the romantic, lone wolf guy that loves to delve into his own world and gaze far off into the horizon, lost in his fantasties. Also, it's at least helped me get a girlfriend once.

Is there any way you guys recommend that I could incorporate this strength of mine into the attraction model without coming off as "cheesy" and "generic" that I can use it to my advantage without having it used against me?

I only have one answer to that which doesnt sound like "you are too much of a softie"

here it is:

mix romantic-ness with bravery and cockyness. Just being a sensitive poet is a fucking joke.

But being a guy who approaches one girl among 6 guys in a club, takes her hand and leads her to your seat, tells her that you are the only guy who she needs to talk to and THEN says something "romantic cheesy, blablabla", THEN I can live with that.

It's not the romanticness, which is despised. It's the overreliance because it's your comfort zone. If you can find a good mix between being a softie sensitive romantic and a brave, independent guy who cares for himself first and doesnt kiss the girl's feet, you might be in a good spot.

Overdoing romance simply kills the effectiveness, I hope you learn being a brave, crazy, self-confident, independent romantic! And not a super-sensitive, cheesy, feet-kissing, doing everything for a girl romantic who puts the girl on a pedestal and wants to die for her, even though he knows her only for 3 days....

PS: sarcasm is used in this post for good measure....

The most I recommend doing is making fun of romance.

Tell her you'll cook her Hot Pockets and light some candles. (with a sarcastic voice and smile)

But on a serious note, the media is deceitful about the real effects of "romance". The outgoing shit you see in movies DOES creep chicks out.

That's because while you're in the beginning phases of dating her, keeping things light/funny/cocky maintain the positive and sexual vibe without demanding verbal commitment.

Romance, such as poetry, is far too direct with serious emotions that you'll soon learn you do not feel. Never do something like that early on because asking her to sit, listen to and praise your poem is like a Compliance Test for a relationship (vs. sex) and worst of all - it's involves ASKING rather than telling and leading.

That's infatuation. And it occurs before you fuck a chick.

I say revisit this topic AFTER you've:
1. taken bootcamp
2. acquired and are maintaining several girlfriends/booty calls

If you still get this habit resurfacing then, we'll talk about it.

I used to be a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, but that had a lot to do with the shitty fear of losing what I didn't even officially have yet - the girl. Now I know better - the pros keep their mouths shut.

Alright Raigon, its seems we've been on bit of the same boat. When I was in high school (No experence, No girlfriend) I know that poems and artistic value don't get the girls.

One thing I remember a friend said "Play piano if you want a Girlfriend, Play Guitar if you want to get laid"

2 bad for me I'm not good on either instrument.

Romance kinda kills the idea of what you can make yourself up to be. For example, JT says become the man of her dreams.
Sure become the man of her dreams but NOT in the first few days of getting to know each other.

Become the Book, not the movie. The movie is thrilling, exciting for like 2 hours. A book however, becomes unpredictable within each chapter, make her think of you that there is more to you.

Romantic isn't on the top list of what girls want in a guy.

Usually if you ask a girl she'll say something like "Smart, Funny, witty, etc"

Those categories should be making up to you being (Romantic)

Im not saying don't do it, you just got to learn to implement them in your other tools.

You say its like not having a sword, thats fine think of it as this use your daggers and other small weapons with a coat of poison (Romance) That way girls can see you as unpredictable and just a bombardment of wit, humor, domanice and a hint of romance.

Oh, I like the ideas guys! Being the bold, sort of crazy, and independent guy with just a hint of romance sounds really fun. Yeah, definitely - I think I'll stick to that rule of thumbs. =D

Hey Raigon:

I think you should re-read the post from Jester --- Jester is bang on – on everything!

I’m getting to be old now --- but back before the was ever “real” Game (Neil Strauss and Mystery etc.) I used to be like you as well.

I figured that I should rent out all sorts of VHS romance / romantic comedy movies and study the lines/tactics/actions and use them in real-life.

After months/years of trying that --- it turned out to be crap and that the media was just feeding us lies.

Fast forward to today --- I do not even watch these movies any more and I do not even watch sit-coms since it feeds us such BS. I am afraid that if I watch it – that certain things/ideas might subconsciously seep into my real-life PUA work.

Sure this romance thing might have its place but perhaps only in a relationship / during sex / right after sex, etc.

Here’s a funny one: I met many women before and no body ever mentioned “poetry” --- except a member of Narcotics Anonymous (who I was ”dating” for practice) and she was only doing it as a catharsis and part of her re-hab program.

Hey – I used to be the “romantic, lone wolf guy that loves to delve into his own world and gaze far off into the horizon, lost in his fantasties” guy as well…it got me no-where.

Sparingly in C.

Sprinkle as needed in D.

Verbal escalation progresses from Romantic > Sensual > Sexual.

There's nothing wrong with incorporating romance into your game (see Casanova), but the problem with a lot of so called "Romantic" guys (and associated behavior and language) is that it stays purely platonic romance and thus no escalation as well as the various associated beta behaviors of the so called romantic.

Sparingly. And later in the phase, I think most of you guys are telling me. I'll probably have to ask you - JT or Gareth to help me out with it during the bootcamp, when it can be said, when it's appropriate, and how much.

after only one day boot camp...this seems overtly complicated ! Have a chocolate ?