imo: a true pua doesnt need to pick anyone up.

first post on this board.

picking up women have piqued my interest in the past few months as i stumbled onto something i didnt know existed: asian men having issues or problems dating white women.

my personal opinion is that a guy should never ever date a women strictly on such a narrow attribute. i consider it shallow and even racist.

but i will entertain this notion because that is what this forum is about.

so, i love the term pick up artist. i have never ever laughed so hard at those who label themselves or consider themselves a pick up artist.

why? why would anyone, guy or girl want to consider themselves to be a 'pick up artist'? again, my opinion, this makes the 'artist' no better than a con artist and those the 'artist' prey upon are at best victims.

is meeting women (or men) really that hard? have we, in western society, really become that insecure and shallow that we can not be ourselves and true to ourselves so that natural attraction occurs? if meeting people, getting together and eventually having children were this hard, we as a human race would have been extinct a long time ago.

jt is on my facebook. while he is a great inspiration to a lot of guys, especially asian guys, i find some of his opinions and observations so vapid and filled with insecurity that it almost smacks as being offensive.

ever go to a gym and see the over muscular guy? we all have. and we all know that the over muscled guy is over compensating for something he feels that is lacking. just the same as the guy who drives a big truck that is sporting a 24" lift.

thus, jt, imo, has been over compensating for whatever reason. call it asian loathing. call it little man syndrome. i dont know him well enough. it is just my observation and my opinion.

but! the beauty of jt is that he has found his insecurities and over compensation could make him money. that's great! i am all for making money. i love making money! but has anyone ever seen that clip from napoleon dynamite where him and his brother are in the karate studio and then they realize that it is a sad joke at best? well, again, that is my opinion on this whole matter.

so, where do i get the authority to say what i say?

none. i dont have any authority on being a pick up artist because i have never been a pick up artist.

what has happened throughout my life is that i have never had to 'pick up' anyone. women have always been attracted to me. call me a liar. call me delusional. i dont care. but that's the truth. women try to get my attention on a constant basis. so much, i dont even notice it anymore. my friends do. they say that she is checking me out. or that table of girls is looking over etc. big deal.

have i been on disastrous dates? of course. only a liar would say no. have i been in relationships where it didnt work out? again, of course.

but as for 'meeting' women. that area has never ever been a 'problem' with me. and yes, i have been out with less than average, average and smoking hot women. i find that women are overwhelmingly interesting: they drive you crazy in both a good way and a bad way. heck, sometimes even at the same time.

so, what is the secret of attraction?

simple.

BE YOURSELF

how hard is that? for most, it is nearly impossible. most people (guys and girls) have so many hang ups, so many insecurities, so much baggage that it screws them up so bad that it is literally paralyzing. emotionally, socially and relationally. i sum it up in one word: toxic.

most people are toxic. first in themselves and then spread to others (who are also likely already toxic themselves).

do i have insecurities? of course, i would again be lying if i said i didnt. but what are my insecurities? are they toxic? or are they constructive? i consider my insecurities to be constructive. to be a better person, whether a little or a lot, each and every day. to do something constructive rather than destructive. whether it is as simple as letting someone in front of me in a line or pulling someone out of a severe car wreck.

i could have a very hectic life. i have so many people clambering after me. wanting to be with me. wanting to be in my company. wanting to feed off my energy, my personality etc. i have a few close friends. but for the most part, i keep to myself.

in my clubbing days, when i used to go out with my friends to clubs, i was almost always the designated driver as i am not a big drinker and do not need alcohol to have a good time. so, most of the time, i am sitting or just standing trying to mind my own business. i can easily remember that in every instance (and there are lots) that women have always tried to get to know me, to pick me up and each and every time, it is a girl that offers to buy me a drink. i have never ever bought a strange girl a drink. never. i have been literally dragged onto the dance floor by strange girls. i have been touched, groped and fondled by strange women that i can so sympathize with women that has had it happen to them.

my girlfriend is physically stunning. tall, blonde, beautiful facially. how come she is with me? to risk (and will) sounding arrogant and egotistical: i am tall, dark and handsome (her description of me). oh, did i forget to mention than i am asian? why do i indirectly infer now, near the end of my writing that she is obviously white and i (could be) asian (i am)? because, imo, it doesnt (and shouldnt) matter what the ethnicity of the people are when attraction occurs.

You may disagree with JT's methods, or the PUA Community in general, but he knows how to do one thing that you don't: Teach.

Criticizing any teaching method when you have nothing better to offer is like bitching about the Ozone - either fix what you perceive as a problem or step aside.


Neither this forum nor ABC's curriculum try to dictate the personal preference that students have in the opposite sex, in any way, including race.

Instead, there are products and methods available meant simply to help overcome racial stereotypes that often make interracial relationships more challenging to initiate. If you're one of the few who has never encountered those stereotypes, congrats. Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky.

Imo, a true pick up artist don't stop picking up like a firefighter does not retire after putting out his first fire.

I respect your opinion but there's one thing you need to understand, I've seen pick up change lives for the better. Call them con artists but there's no more deceit in pick up than there is in sales and marketing.

It's called pick up artistry because it's the art of picking up chicks, the term was coined in the 80's and there's nothing new about it. Nobody on these forums made it up.

Race really deosn't matter to me. I would have to disagree with JT here, being Asian does not affect how woman treat me. Being shit with girls is not a racial thing, there are men from all races in all countries that have problems meeting girls.

Being a pick up artist is a way of life, the guy's who usually get into pick up to meet that 'one special girl' never become good. Being good with woman is a way of life.

People choose a certain attribute because it is their freewill. In life you can eat a hamburger or a pizza. As long as it is not hurting anyone then it is your choice. What is your favorite ice cream flavor(s)? I love strawberry and vanilla ice cream. Can I eat chocolate ice cream? Hell yes but I just love those two aforementioned. In life, you have freewill and this is the USA.

Again, you keep basing everything on your opinions and that’s why it’s called an opinion and not facts. Facts can be tried and tested while opinions are not. In addition, you forgot to mention that girls play this game too.

Yes, meeting women has been hard for me because I have neglected for my whole life due to the facts that I have to take care of my parents since immigrating to the USA. After my dad passed away, I had to take care of my little sister as well. In addition, my focus in life is to be the first in my family to graduate from college which I did and strive to start a stable career in this terrible economic climate. So yes, I don’t have those so skills because I have sacrificed a lot for my whole family. If I would to do it again, I would not think twice because I would put my family first before anything.

True, I am somewhat suspicious of the ABC method but I will not trash it because I have not taken his course. I am planning on taking it with my big brother Johnny Wolf next year so I will give my fully unedited review from my heart. You cannot judge someone unless you walk in their shoes.

I don’t have anything to compensate because what I have is what I have. I can’t change that but I can always better myself. I can always learn, I can always study, and I can always improve myself. For example, a couple of years ago, I didn’t know how to play tennis. I can’t change my height but I can improve on my techniques and skills by practicing.

To you, it is calling loathing and little man syndrome but for me it is about being the best I can be. To me, it is about achieving my goals in life. I have to prove anything to anyone but myself. I’m not competing against anyone but myself. I didn’t speak English until I was seven years old but I was able to overcome it.

To you everyone is attracted to you and that is great but for the rest of us it is not that easy. Even two snow flakes are not the same. Some people are naturally good at sport while others are not. However, if a person works hard and keep practicing then they too can be pretty good at playing a particular sport. You cannot compare apples and oranges. They might be similar but still different. Everyone come from different backgrounds and areas of life.

And for me, meeting women has been a problem because of my AA. If I can get more practice and be more comfortable with them then it will be good for me. I don’t have time like you and I need a coach that will give me tips and pointers. There are no magic pills but if you’re lacking in some areas of your life then it is best to have an outside figure take a look at it. If you’re sick then you go to a doctor. If you have financial problems, you go to a financial adviser. ETC.

Lesson learn. Don't try to put everyone in the same boat. Everyone is different and from different backgrounds.

I have to agree with the OP's above. Some people need a boost or some hints to get through a tough time in their life, but if they care enough about it to seek help, then there's nothing wrong with it. Asking for help is a sign of strength, because you admit you are human and therefore you have weaknesses, but because you're human, you know it's there and you can fix it. And society exists because we all have a role and we exist to fill in the gaps other people don't have with talents of our own. A doctor cannot exist on his own, nor a laywer or a politician, but together we can make things work because we can do and help fill in what things other people don't know. That's why even though there are teachers, there are also student organizations, cram schools, clubs, and all sorts of volunteer groups or organizations that give courses outside of school. Does that make school useless? No. For without school, these organizations won't exist. But without these organizations, school would be hard for a lot of people to get through.

Just like meeting and attracting women.



Put this in your story. Being a protector of loved ones and looking out for them is extremely high value in a man.



Same here. I think JT over-exaggerates the stereotypes in Asians and exploits the insecurities in Asian males to make money. I think he is a money sucking vampire. And I think he is an arrogant, height stunted bastard (no offense, JT). So why did I sign up for his bootcamp and adhere to his teachings? Because I needed help and he's good. And he knows how to teach. He does exploit the problem, but at least he also teaches how to solve it and even if he is an arrogant, short little fuck, he is a smooth and experienced short little fuck who is world renowned.

I needed a tutorial and a guide to help me get the hang of of it. It's kind of like intensive english courses for international students who study abroad - some can just suck it up and get the hang of it themselves. But some can't and some will need that extra boost but just because they need that extra boost doesn't mean they will fail school. I'm sure there are a lot of people who, if they had that extra boost, could have succeeded in life then they should have taken it.



I have to agree with this. I think that the ABCs of attraction is more of a study guide and a method than an actual textbook. It's like people who have a hard time studying in college or high school and need a tutor or a guide to help them through. There is nothing wrong with that. Some people who haven't been given the opportunity or the environment to be good at something should be given another chance to take a shot at it. Not everyone is born gifted. But anyone can work hard and gain experience by effort. And in real life and society, hard work combined with a good teacher and method can beat sheer talent nine times out of ten.



Well said, brother.

Btw, Jester has already designated me ABCs of Attraction urologist. Anyone who has a small penis size or is not confident in their sexual ability *cough cough* can come talk to me. I'll let you jerk off to me having sex with a girl I pick up because I learned how to through experience, a good guideline, and sheer effort, not because I was born good at it.

Hmmm I'm also incline to agree on OP in his philosophy on this subject

BUT,

If i were to describe it better, there are many men women in this world where from a young age til older teens the mindset and concepts of whats around can be confusing and a lot of information to learn.

For me, my Parents always pushed me to study hard and get good grades, so i can have a good Job and later in life support a family.

Alright sweet, so off to school I went and I made friends with other like minded people who also though study is all we need.

then you get in your teens and you start to see and meet other people who actually dont talk abt homework, but more on relationships, sex, this girl/guy whatever and you come to the stage, what theres more?

So you start to be intrigued by it and dont realise that your already been spoon feed a mindset that I dont ahve anything interesting to talk about and I never have thought about attracting girls/guys.

So the whole mindset is fucked up cause we the start trying out how to learn to get girlfrieds in highschool. Which comes off creepy cause we never associated with that and since were teens we are more emotionally and maturely connected with everything than we were kids.

Sorry im not good at getting across my message.

In short, men/women just need that mindset, that little boost of what was the basic formula of communication to attract the opposite sex. What ABC teaches is modern and update with Today's Society of the dating life.

We all in the back of our minds want to be with some one Like Mystery says "Survive and Replicate"

I truly believe that there is something that happens when were kids that our parents or elderly tell us that kinda sets us up to who we may be as teenagers. The faster we understand that there is more to life than the basic idea of study hard and you will have a good job, talk with girls or make friends a lot and forget abt studying, there are so many factors in life that make people not see the missing point.

And I personally didn't understand how to talk and attract the opposite sex and personally not everything i've learn so far has been manipulative nor bias. After reading The Game i realise the moral of the story.

Be yourself!

You'll be surpirse not many people know themselves, but with trial and error, rejections, love interests and potential soulmates. Man and Women will actually understand that they really not just in it for the Sex, one night stands sure most will.

But I personally like the idea of chasing a potential soulmate. And whats best is actually being the best I wanna be not for them, but for myself.

I am Priority Number 1, if they don't like who I am or they don't understand me or the world i live.

Go away

Don't try to fix it or change it unless your world is similar to mine and you allow me to be in yours

Let's face it, you could argue that ALL pick up companies exploit the insecurities of men. The industry is there to provide an answer and solution to something all guys think about but never talk about. Us guys, unlike women don't have an outlet where we can talk about this stuff and try to find solutions for them. Are you kidding, I could never open myself up to other dudes to talk about this because that would involve making ourselves vulnerable and talking about our feelings and that would be like gay man.

I think all of us, before we took the bootcamp all knew what we were getting into and what we were paying for. Some of us don't have direction, some of us just need someone to tell us what to do or some of us just need someone to kick us in the ass and go for it. Because that's really what it is. Putting down 1.5k on a bootcamp isn't exactly a decision that any of us took lightly.

I thought long and hard about doing it and although I've always had success attracting women, I never knew what to do to keep them or to get them as a GF. You OP are lucky because you probably had a group of friends who dated growing up, or maybe had an early relationship that taught you how everything worked. Some of us weren't so lucky. Growing up, not a single person in my group of friends had a girlfriend or boyfriend so I had no reference point. I was in engineering, lived at home. Logistical nightmare. Never had a girl "pop up" in my life and everything led from one to another and voila! girlfriend or hookup. Even if they did, I was completely clueless on what to do so I'd lose them by "being myself". I'd imagine this is how the majority of the people on this early get their SO. While some of us has to get out there and make things happen for ourselves.

You could argue that the bootcamp and the PUA scene is just gurus selling you snake oil motivation because honestly that's really all it is. Most of us just need someone to go up to us and tell us to stop being a bitch, if you want some something (hot girls) you have to go out and make it happen. (which what JT did to me and it worked)

If you look at his reviews, you can see that he has an overwhelming positive reviews and that tells you he's doing something right. We're paying him to essentially be the "big brother" or "best friend" that a lot of us who get into this never had.

This is why the message shouldn't be "Be Yourself", but rather "Balance Yourself"

The scale has Leisure on one end (which includes your social life and relationships) and Necessities on the other (which includes education and work)

One's upbringing plays a huge roll in which side of the scale lacks for them.

Plus, one's upbringing is not self-inflicted. So blaming someone because they're more Beta than Alpha from say.....having strict parents.... is not the right approach.

Same applies to those Alphas who were spoon-fed social status from an early age and now struggle with motivating themselves to work for success in various aspects of life.

However, as adults we now have the tools and self-awareness to change putting "absolute" focus on work or play, and instead balancing the two.

But in regards to the original post, years and years of adaptation to something are not changed from a two-worded Halmark card like "Be Yourself"

Old habits die hard.

Brandon85:

So basically you are saying, you are the perfect example of a perfect natural.

So be it. Enjoy yourself !

However not everyone is fortunate enough to claim that about themselfs and for them Bootcamps are the only way to go.

Iam a natural NERD, iam the exact opposite of you, MR Natural.

When I stand near to a girl she walks away, when I look at a girl she looks away and so on...

I got asked to buy cigarretes or drinks, after that they left, they totally ditch me and I got thrown out once for being on a rampage because of that shit. (well I got myself drunk)

Iam a white guy unsuccessful with women in a third world country, believe it or not, hell I dont care...

My love life so far was a joke.

Cheers,
Manuel

What a bunch of gays.

Who would you rather learn how to make money from? A rich kid born into money and a silver spoon or someone who made his millions from nothing?

Brandon is the Paris Hilton of the forums.

Brandon already gave all of you clues into his background. He's tall. He's goodlooking. So women want him. And he replaces any aspect of his personality with money. He's not actually charming, interesting, or attractive, he just learned how to make money in order to substitute any real substance. Anyone with any kind of critical thinking skills should have been able to discern how applicable or not applicable his "advice" or point of view was valid.

And unless you're already tall and goodlooking with money (or in otherwords NORMAL PEOPLE), then nothing he says has anything to do with you.

Then you have hypocrites like Raigon who's going to be a doctor and essentially making more money than APB because doctors charge healthcare and insurance companies a SHITLOAD for every test, appointment and cheek swab. Doctors don't make six figures and millions out of the kindness of their heart. Yet, in the span of one month, Raigon has made more progress and more personal happiness on the thousands that APB spends on websites (and if you know anything about website development and bandwidth usage, you know APB is spending shitloads of money every month on letting hipocritical assholes like you post without any direct financial benefit) than he ever would have on his own.

Go ahead and criticize APB for making money, but know that you're the poor, welfare asshole with six kids on the government dole that is the pimple on a productive societies backside. It costs money to build an infrastructure that people can benefit from (and thousands if not tens of thousands each month to maintain) and nothing for pust-ridden carbuncles like you to try and bring down.

And as much as you leech and take value, when APB comes around, he'll still take care of you even though you've spent months draining money, energy, and attention from an Asian brother who has done more to change the world for a better place other than Bruce Lee.