Social conditioning & the detrimental effects on our psyk

A friend said to me the other day they had found a terrier/Staffy type dog in my suburb out in Sydney many years ago which had a face badly mauled. They suspected this dog was involved in many illegal dog fighting activities and was just roaming the street by itself. Oh he absolutely loved humans, but the first time they realized he was a trained killer was when they walked past another house, the terrier heard another dog barking, then decided to jump the tall fence and murder the other dog and then jump back and walk away like nothing happened. It would jump its own fence during the night, Murder other people’s animals then come home before sunrise and play with the owners casually.

How about the kamikaze warriors who were military trained to kill themselves in order to blow up American naval ships. At an early age these people had the bushido code installed into their heart and minds. The code expressed “loyalty, honor until death”. Keep in mind that these conditions don’t spawn from thin air they are expressed, taught and conditioned into the young.

Think about the African militants who kidnap the local children and train them to become cold blooded killers. An African friend of mine said they would intoxicate them with drugs and make them raid the villager’s killing their own people without any form of remorse. Cutting breasts and hands are common practices in Africa by the teenage militants. These militants although look very unprofessional in western eyes are very well managed by intelligent and university educated people. They have their own form of government, weapons, doctors and businesses whether they are illegal or legal.

I was watching many raw documentaries on Afghanistan/Iraq I’m amazed to see how many people would die to honor their god, in the hopes of living in paradise and receiving 72 black eyed virgin’s service upon death. Although this may appear to be rather outlandish from an Australian or American perspective, one must realize that the people who commit themselves to becoming martyrs feel they don’t have anything to lose and only paradise to gain. This is the air they breathe, the only reality they see and know, I don’t blame them - what they used to call home is now in pieces. The people see martyrs being praised and famed on posters in the street just like a Hollywood celebrity. The insurgents will tell the kids that these people are heroes in ‘god’s army’, the radical rallies that civilians attend will encourage them for the war against McDonalds.

Although fairly extreme in these examples I wish for reader’s to think of the effects of what we call ‘social conditioning’ for both the positive and negative angles in our psychological development, which in turns effects weather we achieve success or failure in our endeavors . Most people are socially conditioned and unaware of the influence - how much the past people and events have affected them.

Visualize to yourself –

How much of your own personality did you decide was going to be yours?

Do you still have any wounds and anxiety’s when you come close to any event/situation that was similar to what hurt you in the past?

Could you picture yourself being good from woman from this day on?

Why are you afraid of woman?

Let’s look at some less extreme types of social conditioning that everyone can somewhat relate to.
Note: these are hypothetical situations but do exist for many individuals.

Imagine you were an obese kid and everyone in the school used to pick on you and call you fat. As you were growing you started to lack confidence and faith. You would not dare express your sexuality or your interest in a female. This could amount to lots of verbal abuse and greater psychological drawdown’s - Hence the addiction to war craft and social anxiety.

You were a popular kid growing up, very outgoing and full of life. But remember our religious faith and parents have consistently pounded into our conceptions that we are not allowed to have intercourse until marriage. We in turn obey our seniors and decide not to even have a girlfriend. By the time we mature sexually we feel the need to connect with the opposite sex. The dilemma now as grown adults is that we don’t know how to communicate our sexuality, we want to biologically but at the same time we do not wish to have a partner in fear of disappointing our seniors. – The consequence of these opposite thought patterns creates personal in-congruency. You start to become helpless and depressed.

You are an ordinary person with absolutely no deep issues; except you have been watching many too Disney and Hollywood love stories. You think the ideal life would be having that one special girl, surely it can be. But grasp the fine line, are you in the pickup artistry to fulfill yourself as a person or have that one special girl to fulfill the void in your life? This inner deprivation is very thin line, thinking one way or another is the subtle difference between success and failure. I knew one guy who thought this girl was the one, as a matter of fact she doesn’t even know he likes her funny they haven’t even had sexual or romantic relations as yet. He decided this is the one and he no longer needs the material available to him in our community.

So the question is how we beat social conditioning when our belief and thoughts are so deeply engraved into the subconscious mind? Let’s call the program road to reconditioning.

It’s possible; better believe a man who was once conditioned through his life to believe that god created the world in 7 days can wake up a week’s time from now and believe in the theory of evolution.

We can also condition ourselves as pick up artists to not feel AA this is my proposed theory – uncontrollable anxiety is pain. Speaking of the truth being good with woman is easy, I see people who have had no training perform extraordinary every weekend we go out. I neither claim to be the best but what I’m trying to express is that it’s easier being good with woman than to not be good with woman period. Changing oneself is more difficult than being good with woman keep this in perspective. My argument is if you can train fanatical fearless people you can also train regular people to not be afraid of girls, since when did you become afraid of girls anyway?

Allow yourself to change and become a better man, this is absolutely critical. Most people if asked ‘would u like to become fantastic with woman tomorrow?’ they will say ‘of course’. But the brutal truth is most people are afraid of waking up tomorrow and being someone different. What would their friends think? How will they get by in the world? Would they see themselves as the same loser in the mirror? Seriously what will you do now that you have an abundance of beautiful woman? Most people will not be prepared for these kinds of life transformations whether it be subconscious or conscious. A strategy we can use to overcome the vagueness and adapt in the near future is using visualizations and having actual written preparations don’t be ashamed - professional athletes use these techniques. I won’t be going into dept with the techniques as they are a topic of their own. The good news is the personal change won’t be happening overnight so you’ll have lots of time to get ready and adapt slowly but surely to your new found identity and belief systems.

Despite common community preaching’s that approach anxiety is inevitable I think this is false. Personally speaking to some degree if your AA is on a scale of let’s say 2/10 that would be considered safe and healthy in your learning curve with woman. The state of the environment is always in extreme flux and the future is consistently unpredictable. But let’s say your approach anxiety over powers you to the extent which causes paralysis 8/10, this is not only unhealthy but detrimental to your success as pick up artist. No exposure = No experience = No success. Sometimes you will have logical battles against the emotion and the emotional battles against the logical. This kind of self division will tear you apart before you even approach the girl. The goal is to align ourselves mentally and physically and shoot straight for the target.

Through rigorous training what’s on a professional Pick up artists mind and how do they feel whilst they are competing?

1. Where to fuck the girl and how to get there.
2. Nothing, but the fresh air. They’ve trained for this moment there’s nothing else they can do except trust in their own abilities and decision making processes.

What’s on a newbie’s mind?

1. What do I say? How do I say it?
2. I’m so nervous and out of control, I feel so anxious and my chest hurts.

Remember in the example above; children and teenagers killing their own people without remorse or emotion? These children are conditioned with guidance not to feel in particular circumstances. We can condition ourselves to not be afraid of woman in all conditions too. Fortunately for people who get conditioned well there is a system backing them up, think of a professional swimming coach who has enough sponsors to give him a decent salary for his work, his job to train the swimmer, keep his mind together and win medals. Many of us are not going to have that privilege of getting spoon fed the information for most of our personal adventures. Commitment to both physical and mental change is now crucial, not commitment to learning the best pick up line and the best DHV story.

A swimmer or a dancer who is performing their art will truly feel the wholeness in performing or practicing. They don’t mind stuffing up because they are conditioned to know they will reap the rewards ‘over time’ or just ‘enjoy being free in the moment’. Think in the eyes of a baby, it might be uncomfortable at first but the vastness in curiosity and practicing effectively really does excel the learning. People can become stubborn as they get older, their ego and pride is in jeopardy. Several sources have cited this need to be right is implemented and conditioned to us from our schooling system. Let’s say the more you get right you are better than the guy who got less right, there becomes a fierce competition in children to be wrong the least. If you got 90% in your exams you are better than the guy who got 50% who in turn is better than the guy who got 10%. In art right or wrong this is not important any environment which is consistently in a state of flux will never be perfect. Therefore we know there is only innovation and varying degrees of success or failure. Where do you stand?

There is a time and place for practices and a time and place for performing. The same is true in pick up artistry.

Practicing/training:
Think of this as trying new experiments, reconditioning, practicing method, lines, pushing a little further than you did last time.

Performing:
With sufficient training pick up artist in theory should be able to compete alongside the experienced men. He doesn’t have to think anymore at least not while his performing, because now is the time to perform and be free. I watched an Australian episode of ‘So you think you can dance’ An Australian guy had said it felt as though he was ‘floating on air’.

Coming from the point of view that this is going to be tuff and boot camp is going to be difficult is already the wrong foot to be walking on. Companies advertise it to be like this and I think it sucks, the fear and adrenalin they provoke behind the screen even before you’ve signed up. Companies treat being good with woman like a bungee jump enforcing do or die mentalities this is false. Remember being good with woman is easy but changing to become good with woman is difficult. Our goal ultimately is to become so smooth, calm and relaxed that rejections should tickle. Ideally being good with woman should be effortless even while she is giving you all the resistance and shit tests.

For as long as you see pick up as a struggle you have a boulder on your back for 3 days and 3 nights and possibly for the rest of your journey until you fail and give up. The best nights are when your relaxed, focused, energized and picking up. Think of the best classroom learning environment would you rather be relaxed and focused or anxious and out of control whilst listening to the lecture? Tell me which two states would you prefer to be in to learn effectively yet people keep bringing the second to the table when they come to pick up school or their own independent learning.

Be aware of your internal flaws especially the anxiety and get it fixed up alongside your journey to learning pick up. Seek professional help if you must believe it or not anxiousness and depression is one of the most studied mental states of a person there’s lots of help out there besides the pickup community. Remember the causes and fear may not be necessarily be caused by you just an outcome of your development and conditioning so please don’t be too hard on yourself. The bottom line is Being good with woman is easier than not being good with woman.

As I quote Van K. Tharp, Ph.d

My perspective is the rule about removing fear (but I’d include any other emotion there) is most important. The reason is that you can only trade your beliefs. And beliefs that are not useful are easy to change if they are not charged with some strong emotion like fear. But if you have fear or any other strong emotion while you trade, then it s possible to charge limiting beliefs so strongly that they cannot be changed without professional help.

Trading coach and best selling author.

You might ask yourself what was the point of this article? ; It was just to open perspectives and an insight into thought pattern recognition and the effects of social conditioning that has not been studied thoroughly or explained in pick up artistry community. Obviously this topic can’t be covered in extreme dept as that would require a series of 400page books. Arguments for and against doesn’t matter to me but these are my opinions and view’s I’m susceptible and open to suggestions and opinions.

down under
Minh.

hey mate,that's a good essay, did you wrote it from your learning experience ? Or was it some new ideas from some good books you read ?

It's so awesome that this community are really smart and helping by sharing info.


I read that limiting beliefs are to be challenged so it can be traded to new positive belief. Social conditioning are beliefs good or bad hammered into your mind. After reading your essay,we should all BELIEVE that bad social conditioning (limiting belief) can (be RE-PROGRAMMED) be changed by hanging out with role models and recieving good info.



Hey this is so true, I played basketball 2nd grade team( with no coach) for 1 season in high school tournament, we lost every game but fuck it was so much fun. Can it be fun even we lose all games ? It takes some serious passion in BB to have fun without winning.

First game of my life, I micro-freeze alot in the game, other team mates are better, they probably are thinking about how to take the shot and ways to win. I was thinking the whole time not to fuck up, not to make a mistake, not to lose points, how to pass to some1 better.

The better players ( PUA) are always thinking about how to defend and offend to win the game. A newbie (AFC) is thinking about not to make any mistakes and pass the ball to other better players.

Focus on ways to win and don't focus on NOT losing.


We can't control how others responde to us, so we should focus on our innner world (being relaxed and focused).
Now when we go out to PU, this is a better state to be in, compared to am I going to be rejected, what do I say ?



Total different thought. I want to read & learn more about NLP. From my view, you are saying this is the mindset we should start with " we are good with women and we are improving ourselves to become better socially".

and 2nd mindset NOT to have is "we are bad with women and we have to change ourselves to be good with women"

From body building view point - we are weak & skinny, we must train hard to become strong & tough and look good VS We are mentally tough, we like to train hard to be strong, to have more energy & have more muscles.

This is some good attitude shifting , positive mental perspective to have.

Thumbs up

Not only books but videos, proffesional research, my own insight.
So let's say abit of both - Cheers.

" In art right or wrong this is not important any environment which is consistently in a state of flux will never be perfect. Therefore we know there is only innovation and varying degrees of success or failure."

I like. Most important point for me. Also A good or bad pickup is what u perceive it to be. Kudos Minh

Wow this post is godly! Social programming is a terrifyingly strong barrier. For a lot of people the social conditioning imposed on their mind can be so powerful that their own unique voice is all but drowned-out by it. At a personal level, the shock of realizing for the first time that the way I presented myself on the outside was so vastly different from who I am on the inside was so powerful that I literally choked on air and broke out in tears on a busy street. It was quite an experience, and ever since then it has always been my goal to align myself and to make sure I know the true reason behind my actions.