Figuring out the flakes

I'm not going to say I'm bitter, although if I'm posting here it probably means I am a little, but the flakes have been piling on lately.

And the first thing that comes to mind whenever you hear of flake is, duh, dude, she's just not that interested in you. But my flakes seem especially different.

We've all been to the point where you're plowing, you get a girls number, you say "cool, we'll do something" and all she does is nod, smile and say "um, yeah, ok, sure..." But my flakes are different.

I'll spare the examples, but lately my flakes are the ones who either suggest plans first (sometimes pretty specific), number close me instead of me number closing them, and sometimes k-close. This, and there's a ton of IOI's coming through that we've all learned how to identify (although to be fair, those are never 100%)

And btw, I know that this is a numbers game and there's no possible way I could ever hope to 100% avoid flakes - I just think my flake numbers are higher than normal.

I know I might be thinking too logically here, especially when it comes to women's minds, but how the hell can someone take the initiative to suggest plans then not respond when the person follows up?

I mean, imagine this scenario. I meet a guy at a PUA event who said he's not sarged but would like to learn. So I say "yeah, I'm going out on Friday, would love for you to join us, text me if you want to roll with us" He texts, I don't respond. That's kind of a shitty thing to do.

But, like I said - this is probably thinking about it way to logically.

One of the few things I remember Mystery said in his book was that women often use emotions as a justification over logic, so I need to figure out what emotions I may be triggering that tell a woman it's okay to flake on me.

One thing I thought was that it might be my look. Long blond hair, kinda rocker look. Maybe I remind them of a guy who'd be fun as hell at parites and bars, but not ready to settle down for the longer term? But if that were the sole reason, ABC instructor Gareth would never get laid!

Could it be that I've sarged so much, using the same stories over and over, that women walk away with the sense that it was rehearsed and I'm some sort of player? From what I've learned of women, most of them have a sense about that stuff without even being 100% aware of it on the surface.

I don't know, that what I'm here to try and figure out. Anyone else have a similar problem and learn to overcome it?

Hey Dougie, I hear yah in what you're going thru here. I think that this is the toughest part and also the most confusing. Those things that you say when the girl suggests meeting up, getting your number, etc then flaking ... it's confusing isn't it.

I've gone thru the same experiences and the Game has helped me a lot to understand that attraction and being in the moment wears off and that increases flaking. I used to think it was me and it would be a terrible blow to the ego, but now I recognize it's some of the things that I do or don't do.

As an example, I brought a girl back to my place a couple of days ago and it got pretty hot and heavy. I didn't have sex with her but I was sucking on her boobs and fingering her and she was grabbing me and telling me how good looking I am and I was more laid back than her. This happened through the whole night. I phoned her a couple of days later and she was talking about how she would have invited me out if she had my number and got into all kinds of sex talk and how she was looking forward to getting naked with me then she flaked on me the next day. I was gonna call her tonight but went out with some friends so I'll call her tomorrow to see what happens.

So yeah, I don't think it's always that she's just not into you ... it's more complicated than that. But I do think that with a proper come back and approach that we can close most deals and then it'll completely turn the tables on these situations.

I looooooooooove this thread for two reasons: The first is that I am mentioned (that, combined with my narcissism releases the ol' endorphins and gets me going) and the second is that it is a very common problem taken to the next level. When I saw the title I was sure I was going to read through to the end and then type something about "Generate more attraction, you fool" but this is totally different. Personally, I think it has to do with generating TOO MUCH attraction.

So, you're saying that these girls are closing YOU and seeding second dates with you. From a pickup perspective, this is fucking baller because you're at the point in your game where you've got the inner game and the passive attraction generation to saunter up and be like "Oh, hey, let me ask you girls a question or whatever I mean who cares you're cute but not my type heh" all super smooth and they go BAM "OHHH HAHAH UR SO SWEET OMG I LOVVVEEE YOUR HAIR! CAN I TOUCH IT!? ITS BETTER THAN MINE OMG WE SHOULD GO SEE SAW 6 GIVE ME YOUR NUMBERRRR". Or something liek that.

This is ballin' because then you post field reports and guys are like.. "Wow.. you're solid!" That's awesome! But I think what might be happening is that you are generating so much attraction that when you call, she feels like SHE did all the work and that the interaction was actually lead by her. Like SHE picked up the guy and meh, she doesn't feel like answering the call of the dude that she picked up on tuesday night, or whatever. It's kind of like if you sarge a girl like you normally would, get her all attracted and then suggest coffee and two days later, she calls you and is like "Oh, Hey, it's XXX. What about that coffee?" Even if she's super hot, you're still gonna be like "Ehhhhh.." Because it's like shooting fish in a barrel. It crushes the chase. That's my take on the possible psychology of it.


The suggestion that I have for you is to a) make sure you control the interaction. If a girl is suggesting you go for coffee and then number closing you and walking away, she's probably just trying to get rid of you. In that situation, you can do one of those, "Yeah, it was great to meet you. Hey, before you leave let me ask you one more question opinion stackstackstacketc". Sometimes, when an interaction is escalating really quickly, it can be even more of a turn-on for her if you the bring the level down (not the energy or the sexuality, just the level) and give one of those "Hey, let's slow this down. I am so attracted to you, but I really want to get to know you as a person." That will be a false-disqualifier in a way, reintroduce cat-string, fractionation and just show her you come from a place of abundance

If the situation is entirely in your command and you're still finding these girls flaking, the one thing that I ALWAYS use that works 80% of the time (moreso if they are giving me major IOI's) is making the first call and leaving a message (because you WILL have to leave a message) that says "Hey XXX, it's Doug. I just though of the most interesting thing and had to tell you. Give me a call back at 867-5309." The return rate on that shit is insane and I feel like it would benefit you greatly in this situation. As a general rule for this problem, I wouldn't even bring up the date they seeded and maybe keep qualifying over the phone (i.e. uneager tonality while you're leaving a message).

Like I said, i don't know if it'll work in your situation, but it's been good to me for all of mine, so I gift it to you because us blonde, long-haired white men gotta stick together on these forums (and no, it's not the hair that's stopping you from getting laid, hahah).

One more thing that you mentioned, too, is the idea of using the same routines so much that you're sounding rehearsed. I would look at it more in the way of "I am using the same routines so much that I am getting the same result every time." If this flake shit is recurring, try changing up your routines or coming in from a different angle. A lot of times a failing stack will work great if you open indirect rather than direct or a great opener just needs a different stack. Dig it?

Either way, hope this is of some help. Try this stuff out and let me know!

-G

Of course I mentioned you, Gareth, that way I knew you'd respond. Way to jump through my hoops, dude. j/k

But you might be onto something, maybe the girl suggesting the plans, having to # close me, etc, while shows a huge interest in me, it also shows me not being alpha in any sort of way by not taking initiative.

This is why gay men have it so easy at times.