The majority of my success comes from merely one thing - THE FIRST DATE
Sure, a one night stand is awesome. Who doesn't like taking a banging hot babe home on the first night you meet her to have raging (hopefully sober) primal sex? However, if you ever want to date multiple attractive women - taking a girl on a date with emotional ups and downs is essential.
I follow the ABCs Framework with my dating scheme A-B-C-[D-E-F] - this process makes it really easy to plan out your dates with a simple "plug and play" format. We have separate location for A, B, and C of the framework. D, E, and F can all happen in one place, discussed later. Personally, I like to work backwards from F and move to A, keeping 3 primary factors in mind -
1. Distance from location to location - How far is it?
2. Method of transportation - How will you get there?
3. Environment - Is the environment suitable for whatever phase you're in?
As long as you ask yourself these three questions and have a viable, simple answer, the location is a winner.
Working backwards, we start with F PHASE - FUN, FUTURE, or FAKE!?
This location will ALWAYS be your place, whether you like it or not. You NEED a place to house your seduction. Distance and method of transportation aren't terribly important here, but ENVIRONMENT will be the determining factor if you're going to seduce the girl or not. In my Chicago Lair talk, "Duties of a Man," I had a short list of requirements to get your bachelor pad ready to seduce a girl
1. It has to be clean
2. IT HAS TO BE CLEAN
3. Needs a romantic aroma (vanilla, lavender, ocean pearl air wick)
4. Romantic aura (bottle of champagne with 2 glasses, scented candles, indirect lighting with floor lamps)
5. Area of seduction (place where roommates will not disturb you - aka your room)
Other ways to romantically spice up a room are photographs (black and white or sepia photos in frames work very well), colored lights, more candles, and mint dishes scattered around the house. If you're feeling saucy, have erotic or sexy art hanging from the wall, or a Kama Sutra book on the coffee table. Here is a layout photo of my studio apartment for your reference.
The table has several books on it, along with a bottle of champagne with 2 glasses and a vanilla scented candle. Typically, I pull the girl back by upselling the champagne and a movie (already has sexual connotations, as we all know if she's coming over to see a movie you're going to be fucking...). This makes it extremely easy to enter the D PHASE - Direct Interest, Disqualify
, and E PHASE - Escalate, Evaluate
If she's already at your place, you already know she's attracted to you, so why bother all the PUA gimmicks? Go for the kiss during the movie. Typically, I don't get past the opening credits in the movie because we're drinking champagne, talking, kissing, holding hands, getting extremely close already. In essence,YOU AND YOUR ENVIRONMENT ARE COLLABORATIVELY SEDUCING THE GIRL.
Heading backwards, we looks at the C PHASE - COMFORT AND COMPLIANCE
We need to take into account the 3 questions from the top here. How far is it?
Hopefully not too far from your place to pull for [D-E-F]How will you get there?
Walking is best, but car is OK too.Is the environment suitable for the phase you're in?
C phase location should be somewhere that you can sit down and chat, building comfort and compliance.
My personal favorite place to take someone is Bao Dim Sum House in K-Town. The low lights and naturally romantic atmosphere work best for comfort and compliance. Use Yelp to find restaurants close to your area. Go in and eat by yourself, or with a guy friend.
A trick I like to use when checking out places is social proofing yourself in that restaurant. Get to know the staff. Tip 100%. Ask to see the chef to compliment him on the meal. This will cause the folks there to remember you by name and face, serve you quicker and more efficiently, and most importantly, give you a ton of discounts. At Gyu-Kaku in Pasadena, the bartender, waitress, and chef all know me and give me a 50% discount when I come in. By making that initial investment of putting down a 100% tip, I save money with the current and all future dates
. Plus, it looks good to your date
. Last time I took a girl out there, they gave me a free bottle of Sake. The girl was super impressed.
POTENTIAL C PHASE LOCATIONS
Quiet, subdued bars
Now to make this date memorable, we need a B PHASE - BUYING TEMPERATURE, BE IN THE MOMENT
As the B phase is high energy, spontaneous, and adventurous, this should be the location that the girl will have the most epic memories she's ever had. Choose a place that you're familiar with, or have skill with. My personal favorite? L.A Gun Club Indoor Pistol Range
This location needs to be high energy and preferably something that you can teach the girl. I teach girls how to fire a P99 or .39 caliber Mk IV. You even get to kino her from behind and teach her how to brace the gun, handle recoil, reload the gun, and more. Shooting a gun is already a natural adrenaline rush. Make SURE that you go beforehand, learn gun safety, and try it for yourself. Take your wingman too, so you can learn together, and don't forget pictures!POTENTIAL B PHASE LOCATIONS
Gun Range (personal favorite)
Skydiving (if you can afford it)
Cycling in the park
So where do we start this date? A PHASE - APPROACH and ATTRACT
In a study with Psychology Today, women prefer the first date to be casual and relaxed. Do something small for this one, like coffee or lunch at a noodle shop. Personally, I like frozen yogurt. It's small, cheap, fast, and a nice little treat. Women also like sweets. My place to go is PinkBerry or Yogurtland in Little Tokyo. Remember to use Yelp to find places near your B and C Phase locations, and ensure you have a method of transportation, walking preferred!
What's left in this little guide? SELLING THE FIRST DATE, as covered in Gareth's Text to Sex!
Make that coffee or Frozen Yogurt sound awesome when you're TALKING TO HER over the phone. I don't like to text girls dates, I like to call. Say something along the lines of,
"This place has the most amazing selection of frozen yogurt, and you get to choose all the toppings and trimmings to satisfy your sweet tooth. Last time I went I had the most incredible concoction of fruit yogurt with chocolate sprinkles. You've got to try this place. Sound good?"
Since my dates take a long time, typically starting at 4 PM, make sure that the girl has no other plans for the rest of the day, or she has plans that are "up in the air." Most likely, she'll be put in an emotional state of mind when she's with you, creating a CONNECTION so she WON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU
. Almost every girl I've taken on these sorts of dates, she had plans "in the air," with her friends after the yogurt or coffee, but she ends up DITCHING THEM to sleep with me. How's that for compliance?
Let's review what I've covered with a real life template I've used for tons of girls:
A PHASE - Yogurtland in Little Tokyo - Casual, relaxed, fun and sweet. 3 minutes away from next location
B PHASE - L.A Gun Club - Adrenaline packed, fun, adventurous, can teach the girl a new skill - 5 minute drive away from next location
C PHASE - Bao Dim Sum House - Great food, low lights, romantic atmosphere for talking and comfort building - 5 minute drive from
D E and F PHASE - My Studio Apartment - for Champagne/night cap, movie and candle light, and seduction
Like J.T says - ABC is easy, it's DEF that separates the men from the boys!
That's all I have for you guys in this War Room article for you. Now you've got the tools to have a successful first date. Enjoy it, practice it, relish in it.