Here's my review of the ABCs bootcamp in San Francisco.
To give some background on myself, I'm a 31 year old guy, born in Canada - but of Indian background. I've always been terrible with women, but I did have some relationships recently with relatively low value women. But I've never had any choice in the women I date, I've just taken whatever I can get, as long as they aren't fat or old.
On the first day of the bootcamp, JT and Gareth went over the Approach/Attract and Banter/Buying Temperature phases of the model. Sarah was present to provide a female perspective on some things, and for us to practice kino turns with - and she was a great sport. I can't imagine that being kino turned by 12 guys in succession was all that much fun.
Our goal for that night was to approach sets and spike BT with humor or some provided gambits.
We arrived at the first venue in San Francisco at 10 pm, and did some improv to warm up our conversation skills. I noticed a girl standing near me, so I opened her with a slight neg, and we had a conversation for a few minutes. I sensed the conversation going stale so I back turned her. She reopened me a few minutes later, so I quickly number closed.
Once we went into the main area, we could see that not only was the venue dead, but there were virtually no women there. The instructors quickly had us change venues to a more target rich environment. At that point, there were no excuses. Showtime and Gareth sent us into set after set. I've always hated clubs, since I've just stood in the corner feeling bad and not knowing what to say to women. But with what we were taught, I was at least able to start conversations - albeit all of them ended in blowouts. In between sets, some girl wanted to dance with me, but I can't dance for shit, so that fell apart quickly.
Debrief was comprehensive, and I appreciated the instructors taking some time with each of us to tell us what they observed and how we can improve. My problems were that I've corrupted my brain with too much PUA material, and I stay in B for too long. Both of these are 100% accurate. Special props to Showtime, he gave me lots of valuable feedback on this night.
Second day was the Comfort and Direct Interest phases of the model. Our goal was to take interactions to those levels, get a kiss close, and also do some direct openers. We also had to bring girls back to the VIP table.
When we got to the venue, I was nervous and shaking like crazy. Walking into that club was one of the most terrifying experiences I've had in recent memory. But the instructors made us feel comfortable, and I felt much better after a few minutes.
Unfortunately I was one of the worse students in the class that day. I did not kiss anyone (well, only on the cheek) and did not bring any girls back to the table. I did 4 direct openers and some situational ones, I was unable to get any sets to hook. Fortunately Gareth and some students managed to bring girls back to the table for us to practice C and D on.
Somehow I ended up with one German girl sitting with me, and despite stacking DHV stories, and using the photos routine - she just stayed cold. Eventually she was pulled away by her friend.
At the end of the night, Gareth had me open a three set of all girls. One of the girls sat down on the couch, and I ran my tightest game of the weekend. Unfortunately I self-destructed in the D phase. After my kissing gambit failed, I didn't back off. I danced with her for a while, stuck my hand up her skirt, at which point she was rescued by one of her friends. Hehe...oh well, I had to see how far I could take it.
Debrief was once again very helpful. The instructors complimented my attitude, but observed that I need to work on D - I seem to stall out in C. Another accurate observation, my dating history is mostly AFC comfort game - so expressing direct interest and using kino is quite new to me.
On the 3rd day, I attended an optional session with Gareth on phone and text game. This was very well done, my phone and text game is utter crap. I'm confident that with the information Gareth provided, it will be a massive improvement. I tried one his voicemail lines today on the girl I met on the first day of the bootcamp. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure the number is fake, but if it's not, I'm sure Gareth's advice on voicemails will get her calling me back in no time.
After the optional session was an explanation of E and F. I kind of felt bad because these seem like a pipe dream to me, and I think some other students were feeling a bit down too. But JT and Gareth quickly raised the mood by acknowledging that we will get there with time, and by concluding with some very inspiration speeches. Gareth's speech almost brought a tear to my eye.
I've been rambling enough, but all in all, this bootcamp was well worth the money and I'm glad I took it.
Positives:
- Most inexpensive bootcamp in the industry.
- Best student : instructor ratio (2 or 3 to 1!)
- Comprehensive debriefs
- Caring instructors who are genuinely nice people.
- Simple method to follow. For those who don't know anything about PUA, remembering 6 steps is pretty simple.
Negatives:
- That the bootcamp had to end!!!
The caveat I want to point out is, if you have crippling approach anxiety - wait a little while before signing up. At least get comfortable talking to cashiers and salespeople, and doing basic situational openers with lone wolves. Otherwise you won't get your money's worth from the bootcamp.
My mindset today after I've had a chance to reflect, is that I still have a very long way to go. Most of my sets ended in blowouts (and I'm uncertain I was even able to generate attraction), but the instructors got me approaching and that's the first step. With the friends that I made on the bootcamp, and with the instruction we received, I'm confident we can help push each other to success.
Bring on Beginner's Hell!
