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 Post subject: Review of Gareth Jones & Asian Playboy Residential Training
PostPosted: 09 May 2011, 01:53 
Alumni

Joined: 09 May 2011, 01:37
Posts: 5
Bootcamp Graduate: YES (BC: Month Long Residential Training, LA 2010)
It’s hard to trust reviews of shiny new things. Novelty makes everyone happy, at least for a while, with its new-car-smell and glossy exterior. And because of that, because I know life can sometimes stink of whiskey and vomit (while looking like something resembling pudding), I’m often skeptical of things untested. And so, with that, here is my review of the ABCs of Attraction, after having tested it for the last six months.

I’m probably not the typical “average frustrated chump.” To begin with, I graduated from an Ivy League school, travelled the world, and can bench-press 385 pounds. I’ve dated several beautiful women—even prior to the ABCs—and am friends with many more. Most women I know consider me “a catch.” There is nothing in my life that would have, ostensibly, impelled me to study with a pick-up artist. But one night in London changed everything.

I was nose-deep in a pint when a friend nudged me and jutted his chin towards the bartender. The effect was immediate: she was beautiful. The kind of beautiful that becomes the center of discussion for a few minutes. And, at the end of it, we decided she was just too hot: too pretty with too many guys vying for her attention to even bother. A good five minutes passed before the silence between us was broken. Beer never tasted so bitter, before or since.

At that point in my life, I felt I had achieved so much—in school and business and life—that I walked home feeling cheated. It’s not that I didn’t talk to her; it’s that I couldn’t talk to her. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. There were so many other guys and she was so pretty—I was stunned into paralysis. My thoughts rummaged up the previous year, one spent in Africa building a mud-hut orphanage in 100-degree heat, and I rambled home appalled that I could do that but couldn’t bring myself to talk to this 19-year-old girl. Something was very wrong.

The problem, however, didn’t seem impossible. A little bit of Google pointed me towards pick-up. A bit more pointed me towards Mystery, the top pick-up artist in the world.

My concern with training with Mystery was that he seemed aloof. He had just secured some celebrity for himself at that time, and I didn’t feel he could give me the intense, one-on-one experience I was after—at least, not at prices I could afford. (Note: years of Ivy-league training taught me that it’s best to solve all problems like this with intense, agonizing seriousness under the guidance of a supremely competent mentor. That’s what I was looking for.) I also considered Richard La Ruina’s training, since he’s based in London, but thought against it after watching a few of his videos*.

I cannot recall exactly how I came across JT’s videos on YouTube, but I clearly remember my impression of him: incisive, erudite, and very accessible. After some research, I realized JT offered an affordable 12 week program that seemed close to what I wanted. I e-mailed. Gareth Jones, an ABCs instructor, responded. Together, Gareth and I worked out a program where I would move to Los Angeles for an entire month and work with him one-on-one, so I could achieve the kind of intensive study I was after.

In all, I spent nearly every day of October 2010 with Gareth. I also spent an entire evening with JT (just us), as well as two additional nights with him (JT) in a bootcamp setting. My notes for these experiences were meticulous, and I’m going to try to condense them down to what I would want to know if I had to decide all over again.

Gareth is an exceptional trainer. He is attentive, careful, and generous. One of the great things about Gareth is that he doesn’t try to “up-sell” you; he never says “you’re too inexperienced to learn this,” or “that’s an advanced technique and you’re going to have to take an advanced training to learn it.” In other words, he doesn’t bullshit you. If you ask him a question, he gives you a straight answer, free of jargon or agenda. As a businessman, I appreciate that greatly; I paid a lot for his time and can say, without reservation, that he didn’t waste any of it.

It should be noted, however, that I didn’t always understand what Gareth was doing. For instance, “dominance” is a term thrown around a lot by the ABCs, but, in a way, it’s hard to grasp. How do we quantify dominance? Is it how loud we speak or where we position ourselves? Sensing that I wasn’t exactly getting it, Gareth took an entire afternoon to show me specific scenes in James Bond movies. Initially, I thought he was just out of ideas and wasting time, but after hearing his commentary on the scenes, I had an epiphany—everything suddenly became clear. And that, I feel, is the essence of great training; Gareth approached a difficult concept with an accessible, “out of the box” method. To date, I consider that afternoon of Bond movies one of the most practical educational experiences of my life. It has changed all my interactions—with men and women—for the better.

As a testament to his generosity, Gareth let me come to three of his texting seminars without extra charge. At the very beginning of it all, I didn’t think very much of texting (and Facebook) as being a viable means of effective communication. But Gareth, who fiddles constantly with his phone, made it a point that I learn his approach to texting, and I have benefitted exponentially since. When I left LA in November, I immediately put the texting to good use and, as an example, I spent December 27th-31st at a girl’s home in Connecticut (whom I had met in London but never seemed interested in me—she’s now finishing her senior year at Rutgers and I visit every month), then spent New Year’s eve with a different girl at my place in New York (whom I had also met in London and also seemed lukewarm, at best—and yes, this did happen within hours of leaving Connecticut), then left for Boston on the 2nd to stay with yet a different girl (again, someone who previously wanted nothing to do with me). This three-girls-in-three-days scenario was set up entirely using texts and Facebook chat, accordant with Gareth’s techniques. Again, I need to emphasize that this was not part of my training program—it was a bonus, of sorts; Gareth simply thought it would help me out a lot and opened me up to it. (And he was absolutely right.) That’s how great Gareth is; he looks out for you even when you don’t know you need to be looked after.

Though I didn’t get to spend much time with JT, I felt my experience with him was exceptional. Direct, sharp, and tough, his methods are markedly distinct from Gareth’s easy, charming style. In a good way, however, they complement each other very well. For instance, I had some trouble remembering to position myself well in groups. Gareth would explain it to me, but I would continually forget to do it. JT solved that in our one evening out with some ruthless yelling, which might sound off-putting at first, but, in hindsight, was exactly what I needed. JT’s methods worked, and that is exactly what I paid him for.

To say that JT’s yelling was the most memorable thing about that evening would be a great disservice and nothing short of dishonest. This is what actually happened. We met on a Tuesday night. Now, if you go out anywhere on a Tuesday night, you can’t expect much to happen. As a testament to his abilities as a “playboy,” JT talked us into a fashion show at the W hotel. It was an impressive display of schmoozing, as we had neither press credentials nor invitations to the event. Once inside, JT pushes me into some ridiculous situations with amazing, stunning women (read: models; fashion show). I meet a beauty pageant winner (sash, tiara, and all), a 17-year-old girl with the most amazing face I’d ever seen (a model, with her mom), and a genial brunette who insisted I come meet her mother at an event (who happened to be, ahem, Meg Whitman, running for governor at the time). The brunette was all over me, and I got her number before JT and I left.

From the W, we headed down to Playhouse, a club just five minutes away on Hollywood Boulevard. Once inside, my eyes widened, bewildered: it was packed—on a Tuesday! We made our way upstairs and JT bought me a shot—tequila, I think—before sending me over to talk to a blonde standing alone. And, when I do, everything stops—she’s that gorgeous.

I get her number, one of five that night, aided considerably by JT’s forceful yelling. Afterwards, we go outside to the smoking area for a break. I don’t smoke, but JT does, and soon strikes up a conversation with three fellow female smokers. I’m clearly the odd man out, standing awkwardly, and so I turn and walk over to a girl standing against the fence, tapping on her cell phone. We talk; she laughs. She tells me she had just graduated and moved to LA from New Jersey. We get to talking about where she went to school—Princeton—and who she went to school with; notably, Meg Whitman’s two sons. I’m elated. I tell her I just met her daughter and, in response, she shakes her head at me. “Meg Whitman doesn’t have a daughter.” And she would know… she’s a family friend.

That evening revealed two salient qualities of training with the ABCs. The first is that the overall methodology is very straightforward. That makes it easier to handle and, subsequently, master. I feel it’s much easier to grasp than the intricate technical details of the Mystery Method, yet achieves the same results. This leaves much more room to focus on the environment you’re in and what you’re experiencing. I mean, here you are, in the company of a beautiful woman, in a fantastic club on a warm and wonderful night. You should not be thinking about “negging” or “peacocking”; instead, you should be able to sit back and marvel at where you are and what you’re doing. I realized that evening that JT lives the life of a true playboy—something I could only realize because I wasn’t distracted by the methodology.

The second quality is that JT and Gareth tend to emphasize the importance of polish. Specifically, they are both gentlemen, and they teach other men how to be the same. They stress the importance of anticipating a woman’s needs and then meeting them, as well as extending courtesy whenever possible (and not just when necessary). JT, for instance, will step aside to give a woman space to pass, even though he’s in a rush and has the right of way. Gareth, likewise, goes out of his way to be a positive influence in the lives around him. One evening, after a few drinks, I had made an off-hand comment about the appearance of a girl nearby. Gareth admonished me, tactfully, saying that it wasn’t cool to say what I had in public (especially as loudly as I did). These are lessons that I still remember today, and can see how much they’ve benefitted me. Years of living in a hard city like New York tends to teach you terrible, unconscious habits, and the ABCs works to counteract that.

But is polish relevant? I think so. When you see how JT and Gareth act, you realize they are just very cool people—people you want to be around. And a big part of that is that they’re gentlemen. You never have to worry about what’s going to happen to you because they are always looking out for you. (Note: it should be said that I met Sarah as well, and she too is undeniably classy.) Further, you learn so much from trainers unconsciously—you learn their habits and mannerisms just by observation—and so it’s good to know that these are people you want to emulate. They cultivate great qualities in themselves in lieu of any special technique or ruse. They’re just great people to hang with—period.

Overall, my month-long program cost roughly $10,000; which includes the fee, my plane ticket, shopping (for clothes), and expenses. I stayed with a friend, so this figure does not include accommodation. As I look back over the last six months, I think this was an exceptional value. (Considering the number of hours I spent with Gareth, I think it was cheap.) I learned as much useful information with Gareth as I had in any given semester of university study—and that cost at least twice as much. Taking on the additional shopping expenses was worth it, too. Gareth is a fantastic stylist and can dress you to fit in with any crowd, no matter how sophisticated. Currently, I get in clubs I never used to get into before, and I’m certain it’s because of my clothes—outfits hand-selected by Gareth.

Finally, I think the true measure of something worthwhile is whether you do it again. For me, the answer is definitely, unconditionally yes. The work was incredibly difficult at times, but never in my life have I grown so fast while having so much fun. It was one of the best investments I’ve ever made in my life.


Notes:
* While I decided against training with La Ruina, I want to say that I think Adam Lyons is simply fantastic, despite never having met or spoken with him. His videos are clear, thoughtful, and informative, and, if he ran the training, I likely would have taken it.


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