Review of Bootcamp LA June 2011

The Bootcamp I took was with JT, Ozzie, Sarah and Heather in LA 2011.
Background

To give you a bit of a background on who I am. I’m a 23 year old asian guy and from what people told me I am a fairly good looking guy. I followed the fairly generic asian route of school and then worry about the girl. I always been a bit of an academic and nerd (did three engineering majors in undergrad, played tons of games growing up, avoided girls etc..) Although I am good looking, I always had problems romantically connecting with women. If I did meet someone, they usually made the first move and I've always been clueless on what to do next nor did I had anyone to ask.

My entire life has been a perpetual sausagefest. Not only did I grow up with almost no attractive women in my everyday life, all my friends AND FAMILY have always been completely clueless with women. When my best "girlfriend" in high school asked me to winter formal, I didn't even know I had to bring her a corsage. So naturally, I never really had anyone to look up to. I took this bootcamp because to not only get the experience of a PUA bootcamp but also meet people who ARE good with women.

So here’s my review. I’m going to try and make it as honest as possible.

Day 1
I felt this day was a bit of a warm up type of day where the instructors were trying to get a feel to where we were in terms of skill level. The information that was delivered during the class and the exercises were very fun and informative. It got me out of my own comfort zone, especially the improv and body language exercises. They presented information that I never would have thought to take notice of.

The actual in field portion of the bootcamp was great. It was at a very nice dive bar in LA called Edison, it has a very intellectual feel to it and was a very mellow and down to earth place. My approach anxiety was not high in this place (about probably 4/10) and I was able to approach a lot of sets, plus was able to get in conversation with many of them. This night was mainly for me to get over my approach anxiety. I got to talk to a lot of cool girls that I could relate to (a lecturer at my college, Princeton graduate, Georgetown lawyer, and USC medical doctor). Shit, I felt some of these girls were completely out of my league. This night was not difficult at all. A couple of the other students got numbers too.

I wasn’t even thinking about getting numbers this night but I should have number closed a few of them (there was a cute lebonese girl and black girl that were talking to me for a fairly long time… in hindsight I should have closed them, oh well live and learn). I’ll definitely be back at this venue in the future because I like the vibe.
The instructors gave very constructive feedback. Apparently the #1 thing I need to work on is my body language and smile. What’s nice is that all of the instructors did not sugar coat anything, they were brutally honest on what you needed to work on.

Day 2
This is the day where shit hit the fan for me. I thought that the information during Day 1 wasn’t that bad, Day 2 with information about C and D hit me like a ton of bricks. We were critiqued on our story telling ability and overall style, which was very helpful to me. It was after this that actually made me realize that I had a lot of work to do in terms of my personality.

The actual in field portion was very difficult, probably the worst night of the three. It was at the hottest nightclub in LA, Roxbury filled with HB9-10s. This venue was a completely different vibe then the one on Day 1. The first night, while filled with intellectuals and educated people, this one was filled with gogo dancers, models and such type of girls. Our overall goal was to bring girls back to our VIP table upstairs.

I managed to bring a pair of asian girls over and even managed to get one of the girls numbers with minimal game. But here’s what was weird about this night, this was a completely new environment for me. I never been in a nightclub sober, I’m usually hyped up on ecstasy so it was really hard for me to get my energy up. I approached a ton of girls that usually resulted in “Hi I think you’re gorgeous” …. Okay… > where are you from? > what do you do? > are you having fun? And then the conversation goes stale and then I/they leave. I go into major interview mode after I say hi and realized that these nightclubs are NOT the place for interactions like these especially if they can’t hear you. I tried telling stories to some of the girls on the couch but my brain usually just ends up freezing.

By about 2-3 hours in, my anxiety was in its all time high. Approach anxiety, social anxiety, the pressure of approaching all weighed down on me until my entire mind and body just froze. I was consistently in my head. As heather said, my head was in a positive feedback loop. I couldn’t do anymore approaches. The environment and pressure was just too much.

During the debriefing, JT let me have it. He did not hold back on the criticisms. This is the first time I seen him in drill sergeant mode and anyone talk to me like this. He was very keen on what was needed to be said and managed to hit every insecurity that I ever had. I was physically, mentally and emotionally shell shocked after this day. It was so bad that I couldn’t sleep that night thinking about what he said.

Day 3
This day was a lot more relaxed. The lecture portion focused on E and F, inner game, and day game.

I thought this venue was a lot of fun. It was the W Hotel in Hollywood. With the help of Ozzie, I approached a lot of sets. I still had a little bit of approach anxiety because this place was extremely high class. I went direct a lot, and I don’t know what I was so scared about because they reacted very well to my approaches. That’s something I need to get over as well.

Again, I came into the problem. The moment I get into set, I automatically go into interview mode. “Where are you from”, “What are you celebrating” etc. I also had a lot of awkward silences also. This is something I definitely need to be conscious of fixing.

We even saw Tyler Durden from RSD and Stevie Wonder perform there! It was a lot of fun AMOGing some of my classmates too.

Overall
As of now, I think taking the bootcamp was definitely worth it. My problems and insecurities were never so apparent until I was pushed to the limit. JT, Ozzie, Sarah and Heather all told me things that I did not want to hear but I needed to hear. I had to look myself hard in the mirror when I got home. Brutally honest criticism, took a huge blow to my ego. Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted after what happened over these three days.

Things I learned
- How freaking important body language and dominance is
- Approaching hot women isn't as scary as my mind makes it out to be
- Rejection isn't so bad
- How to put together a better compelling and emotionally riveting story.

Things I need to work on (oh god where do I start)
- So, I found out that I had the asian poker face so I need to do =D more.
- My bantering skills need more work. My brain always freezes when I'm in set and I automatically go into interview mode when I talk.
- I really need just to get out there, chill out and talk to as many women as I can because when I approached a lot of them, I was clearly uncomfortable with the interactions. My body language was tense, unable to relax, and consistently in my head. I don't think I even got blown out, I blew myself out most of the time,
- Need to work on my inner game because according to ozzie, I still don't push myself hard enough because I'm still protecting my ego.
- I need to learn how to manage my energy and anxiety in clubs.
- Need to work on making my interactions way less awkward.
- Approach, Approach, Approach!

MORAL OF THE STORY IS.... I still got a lot of shit I need to work on. I realized I can't get anywhere being a keyboard jockey and the thing that's holding myself back is... me lol. Therefore I am making a commitment to practicing this in the coming months. I already planned on going to my sister's graduation party and macking on all the girls there, plus going out again and sarge with one of the bootcampies back in LA on saturday. No more coaches so I can only rely on myself!

Like JT and Sarah said, a commitment is more likely to be made if its written down and I'm making this commitment right now. Three times a week Wednesday, Friday and Saturday I'm going out and working on this shit. IM IN IT TO WIN god damn it -_-

Also, lets not take away the positives either. I think the best part was how close all of us students got in the very short time together. I'm very glad I met these guys and even gained a couple of wings as well! I'm also glad I met sarah and heather also (thanks for helping me get over that anxiety in the club) too. They are both super-cool and nice.

Hey, thanks for posting the review! It seems like you did pretty well, so don't be so hard on yourself. You do need some work, but everyone needs practice (most people in the bootcamp started off worse than you) and you're way ahead of me. I don't even have my Sydney bootcamp until next May (Go procrastination! =D)

I'm similar to you in some ways (except most likely not as good looking), my only 2 girlfriends were met over the internet (one blonde playing neopets and the other in an anime forum). The 2nd one was supposed to have been way out of my league. The weird thing is, I only have confidence when I have a computer screen or a physical barrier to hide behind of. And confidence is my greatest weapon - so if you take away that physical barrier to hide behind, I'm screwed.

So I have a question - how do you work on getting off "interview mode"? I have the same problem, I fear. My conversation always involves me asking questions and only questions (I honestly can't think of anything else to say, unless it's to type like over internet messaging because I have the delete button and a screen to check over my words). My conversational skills are 7-8 on AIM, MSN, yahoo, skype, etc, but nil face-to-face and if we talked in real person, I wouldn't know what to say to you, and you're a guy, let alone girls and attractive girls. =(

Practice. The reason why I go into interview mode is because I just wasn't comfortable with flirting with attractive women and I just didn't know what to say. With practice, I'll get better.

Honestly, there is really no way around it. You just have to put yourself out there, screw up a few times and just keep on talking to people. I had the same problem as you 2/3 years ago (I could only talk via aim, when it came to real life I just stumbled, stuttered and had zero confidence). I recognized that and started working on my social skills. I worked at starbucks for a year and that helped a lot. I recommend joining toastmasters or doing something similar.

Great review buddy! You did a fantastic job this last weekend and we all learned our pros and cons. We'll certainly gain some more experience this Saturday!