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 Post subject: LA Bootcamp August 09
PostPosted: 15 Aug 2009, 20:19 
Alumni

Joined: 15 Aug 2009, 20:15
Posts: 1
Location: Ventura, CA
Bootcamp Graduate: Yes (BC: August 09, Los Angeles)
Hello to all of my ABC brothers! I just wanted to take the time to write up a report on my experiences at the August LA bootcamp. First of all, I am a 27 year old who just recently moved out to California after spending the majority of my life in the Midwest. I’ve been interested in the community for a little over a year after I got fed up with my lovelife and began searching for ways to change up my life and have more fun, which includes meeting more women. I wound up signing up for a bootcamp in early July after yet another relationship that turned into being “just friends”. So now, onto my bootcamp experience:

Day One
The first day was spent on the A & B portion of the ABCs. We did do some exercises on tonality, facial expressions, and walking but the real learnings came from trying out my new knowledge on JT’s assistant, Claire. The instant feedback from both JT and Claire on my approach helped considerably in fixing problems like standing too close, firmness of the kino turn, and other nuances like verbal stuttering, bad eye contact, and hand gestures that demonstrate nervousness. I know I’ve been overly analytical when it comes to approaching because my thinking has always been concerned with what I am going to say to a stranger and allowing that to prevent me from approaching. JT pretty much called that out and hammered the point into all of us with the fact that girls won’t remember what started the conversation as long as you follow the process and continue the interaction. One thing I will echo what a fellow bootcamper mentioned is to make sure you bring food to the training sessions. Between LA traffic, the training, and travel to the venue, there really isn’t a whole lot of time to eat.

So, we arrived at this cool place in downtown LA called Edison. The décor, size of the bar, and relatively quiet noise level made it a good first night venue to get us all acclimated to approaching and bantering. I warmed up for the first hour and got into a talkative mood. Coming into the bootcamp, I had made two major commitments to myself, 1) I wasn’t going to use alcohol as a crutch to become more talkative 2) If I was told to approach, I would do it no matter what. My level of approach anxiety was kind of an unknown to me but I was determined not to waste my money and JT’s time on not even getting past the first phase of just approaching. Starting the night, I basically had the text message opener, a wedding registry opener, ninjitsu opener, kino turn, and a few comfort stories.

Overall, I opened at least 12 sets that night at Edison. Warming up, I talked to a 2 set of Asians at the bar and an asian lone wolf on a couch. Although I got blown out by the lone wolf, the idea of warming up and getting in a talkative mood was very useful for me, especially in starting to tone down my approach anxiety. Last warm-up set included a 3 set in the smoking area where I was able to start getting into a little comfort and start talking about experiences in LA. Here, the importance of wingmen shined as I didn’t have to maintain a conversation with all 3 girls. After that, we all returned to the main area downstairs and started the real work for tonight. Right away, Gareth pushed me in with “3 set by the bar, go!” and away the night went. Memorable moments included some Latino girls coming down the stairs that quickly turned from a 3 set into a 7 set. I wound up losing that set fairly quickly with my natural opener and still have much work to do on how to keep a big set like that. I did boomerang a girl from that set later and got shit tested from the original girl I opened about my natural opener. I was proud of myself as I just laughed it off, plowed through, and kept talking about movies and celebrities. Later on in the night, JT sent me into a two set that another bootcamper had just tried to open with no avail, mainly due to a weak kino turn. So, I charged right in and did a firm kino turn and started to chat them up for a couple of minutes. They later made the statement of “We’re together” and I’ll be honest, I had no banter for the lesbian response. Oh well, maybe next time. Ended the night with a Caucasian 2 set on the couches and got into comfort talking about college and LA experiences. At first, I didn’t # close since that idea had for some reason, never crossed my mind until Gareth called me out. So, I searched her out again and went for the # close with the direct statement, “Hey, we’re getting out of here but what’s your number?” Once again, another limiting belief was crushed in my mind that women don’t give out their numbers.

During debrief, JT was glad that all of us were able to approach but cautioned that approaching is the easy part. Overall, improvement areas for me included: 1) getting rid of the shit-eating grin all the time 2) deepening my voice and talking more from the diaphragm versus the vocal chords 3) bantering and silences. However, a good night though as I was able to overcome the approach anxiety I thought I had and complete the first steps of the ABC bootcamp.

Day Two
So, after a good start to the bootcamp, I began day two. Unfortunately, the effects of working carried over and I wound up waking up around 7 AM after about 3.5 hours of sleep. Later on in the bootcamp, I would be very pleased that I brought along some Tylenol PM to help with sleep through the weekend. Although it is a crutch, sleep deprivation is definitely detrimental to high energy night game. Starting the day off, the first thing that JT said was, “today is hump day”. Those words were never truer as today’s challenge was to combine the supposedly easy parts of approaching and bantering and adding comfort and direct interest to the pot. Once again, there was some lecture on compliance tests, the structure of good comfort stories, and the proper way of conveying direct interest but once again, the real learnings came with the exercises on beautiful Claire. For me, I’ve always had a problem conveying direct interest, which is why I feel that I’ve developed way too many friends that are girls rather than girlfriends. I am able to create connections with women but once again, storytelling is not a skill I’m used to doing especially in trying to convey the qualities that raise buying temperature. Overall, I think all of us taking the bootcamp had problems with our stories. Over and over, JT cut out the fluff in the stories and pounded home the point that the word “I” has to be in the story right away, otherwise the story does nothing to convey your personal qualities. To a certain degree, I think all of us bootcampers had a limiting belief that we thought we didn’t have interesting stories but in the end, I realized that anything can be turned into an interesting event with the right wording and descriptions.

Night two took place at a smaller venue called Bar Delux in Hollywood. To aid us in our night, we wound up getting bottle service. Getting five guys into a club is a little bit difficult without reserving a table. The goal for tonight was to get into the C&D phase and to isolate girls by bringing them back to our table. Adding to my repertoire for tonight was a direct opener and a reboot/boomerang line, as well as some pre-planned stories about travel, BLP tactics, the Silencer, and some BT gambits. Once again, we all started off with some warm-up. I went around to the relatively sparse crowd and got into a talkative mood. As we had gotten bottle service, the hot waitresses also provided some good early warm-up. It was definitely interesting to see the way Gareth and APB bantered with our waitress and the response she gave back. Late in warm-up, Gareth and APB opened a 8 set birthday party that I joined in on. Thanks to Vigere, I was able to isolate a black girl on the couches. We got into some touching and playful bumping as I delved into comfort stories. I wound up talking to here for a good twenty minutes before ejecting. Once again, I forgot to # close even though I wasn’t really attracted to her. I came back to our table to find a 3 set of already there. I wound talking to a cute redhead there and got into C with her before # closing her. At that point, JT pulled us aside and said, “we need some new girls, dig into your inner asshole and kick these bitches out!” Not an easy task for me but somehow, we found a way to get these girls away from the table and began anew in the night’s task. I opened a two set of girls dancing by a fireplace and quickly got the “I’m married” response. I pushed through and actually wound up finding out that one of the girls went to the same college as I did and we exchanged some stories about that. In the end, although there wasn’t much chance for a romantic, I also had fun reminiscing and talking about college so definitely not a bad interaction. As JT and Gareth both said, going out should be fun too and not just mindless work. I later wound up going direct on a tall blond from New Zealand at the bar. I think I said something along the lines of “you are tallest, most beautiful blond in this bar.” Once again, a surprising result for me as she smiled and we began talking. I was able to get her to come back to my table with JT’s return from Australia excuse couldn’t get her to sit. For the rest of the night, I had mostly failed sets as the openers were hard to say with the loud music and I constantly brain-farted after opening groups and started talking about AFC topics.

At about 12:30 AM, my energy was pretty low and I was honestly ready to call it a night. But at that point JT called out, “1 set, blonde by the stairwell! Go direct!” Although, I wasn’t really feeling it, I went right in and went with the tall, beautiful blond line. Little did I know that this set would be the one of my bootcamp that opened my eyes as to how a dominant, confident man acts. Once again, the direct line hooked and she smiled. I forget what I opened her with next, just goes to show what you say doesn’t really matter, but with some BT spikes like high fives and show me your muscles, I eventually got into some comfort stories about surfing, LA, and other topics. The one benefit of going direct right away was I was able to convey my direct interest so that eventually the conversation turned to how much I liked blondes and whether she had ever dated an asian guy. I attempted to number close but started to get some hesitation from her. So, although we were dancing and holding hands, she seemed to be really afraid that I would be constantly texting her. I’ll have to come up with a comfort story to help alleviate girls of the fear of a stalker guy. So, with the BT spikes, I continued to ask her for her number which is when she said, “Are you always this aggressive?” Up to this point of time in my life, I don’t think I had ever been accused of being aggressive. But the thing about it was that she was digging it and feeling my chest while we were dancing. I forget why I eventually ejected but in the end, I still didn’t have the phone # but did wind up with a kiss on the cheek. At this point, it was about 1:30 AM and JT and we still had 1/3 of a bottle left of vodka. JT sent us all out on a mission to finish off the bottle and I decided to boomerang the blond and her friend and invite them over to the table. So, in continuing the interaction, JT yelled at me to go for the kiss close, which I tried to do in the sly way with the “how good of a kisser are you” question. As I tried my method, JT turned to me and said “grab her head and make out with her!” I wound up getting one kiss but she was too quick the other times in stopping me. In the end, another lesson in dominance while smashing my beliefs that women aren’t receptive to that sort of cavemanning. Unfortunately, she took my number but snatched her phone away before I could call myself.

Debrief again took place outside of the club. This time, JT did not hold back the punches. However, at this point, I think all of us bootcampers had just begun to realize the enormity of the task ahead of us. I think JT summed up the night with the fact that as Asian males, most of us are just learning the skills that most guys learn in their high school years. While our upbringings put a focus on studies and financial stability, we left gaps in our ability to develop sexual relationships and need to realize this fact so we can continue to grow. For me, my opportunities revolved around being a dominant male and developing my bantering game to fill the gaps in the failed approaches.

Day Three
Day Three was a mix of lecture and a fashion lesson. Thankfully, I got about 5 hours of sleep Saturday night thanks to Tylenol PM. Coming into the bootcamp, I would say my fashion sense was fairly outdated and conservative. None of my clothing was designed to stand out and attract attention. As I would learn, this indicates my lack of understanding of current fashion and also hurt my value as it shows how much attention I pay towards my clothing.

At the end of the day, I wound up buying a whole outfit, complete with motorcycle boots and belt buckle. I plan to buy some inserts for the boots for the extra little boost to both my height and confidence. I think the big learning was in getting calibrated on current fashion trends as well as the added benefit of some nice discounts due to JT’s continuing business at these stores from all of his bootcamps.

Day Three lessons focused mainly on AMOGing and the E&F sections of the ABCs. With Claire, we did another exercise in attacking and defending against AMOG attacks. A fairly straightforward exercise but very difficult to execute well. While I did ok in deflecting AMOG approaches, my ability to break into sets left something to be desired. The training for E&F was a little more rushed and after two days of lecture, some of the lesson sunk in but to a certain degree, our ability to incorporate it all had us all overwhelmed.

The third night out took place at an 18 & over club called Cinespace. Probably the toughest venue of the three nights for me. Besides the fact that I had the least amount of energy this night, the club was very loud and had a very hipster rock crowd feel. Honestly, a topic/genre that I have very little knowledge about. Once again, the warm-up definitely helped get the night started. Even though I got blown out of all of my approaches, JT was able to notice that I was too close on my kino turns and encroaching on their space. I wound up going direct on most of my sets that night as the loudness of the club really made the long openers very hard to execute. I remember going direct on an asian 4 set that ended in the other 3 girls pulling away their friend. Probably, the most successful set of the night was a 1 set in the corner that was waiting for friends to show up. I was able to develop some comfort and perform some compliance tests. However, I lost the set as I began to think too much and run out of topics to talk about. Although I opened about 10 sets that night, I definitely psyched myself out early on in the night and became a wallflower that approached girls as they came nearby. Overall, I wasn’t having fun that night and it showed in my interactions. Probably, the most fun that night came near the end when two guys began to chat up Claire and JT sent us all in to AMOG them. I think one of the guys actually said that his family owned the Staples Center, which was good for an internal chuckle. Using JT’s BIT method, I was able to deflect the guy talking to Claire and while my fellow bootcamper distracted the two guys, I isolated Claire and turned her away from the guys. The funny thing is as I talked to Claire, she mentioned that she hadn’t been approached for most of the night. Further evidence for me that even a HB girl is looking for guys to approach. Unfortunately, the presence of five, well dressed men around her can dampen even the best of PUAs.

Debrief took place in a nearby restaurant and for me, the hard lesson for me to learn was that I need to be more dominant and need to believe that “she wants me!” Aside from an improvement area in my bantering, I need to gain the experience and confidence to drive my interactions and lead girls to where I want them to go.

Final Thoughts
So, in the end, the question is “Was the bootcamp worth it?” For me, the answer to that question is a definitive yes. As I had mentioned before, I have many female friends but was never able to develop sexual attraction. I’ll admit that the majority of the material can be found online. You can find bits and pieces of attracting women all over the place on various PUA forums. I think the value of a bootcamp is two-fold. One, the ABCs provides an overall structure of how to go from approach to sex. Learning from and seeing JT & Gareth in action opened my mind to the possibilities. And JT’s ability to empathize with his asian brothers added another dimension to the bootcamp where he knew where most of our sticking points were and could provide his own experiences with overcoming these obstacles. The second benefit of a bootcamp is that you are admitting to yourself that you have a problem. When you fork over the money to reserve a seat in a bootcamp, you are acknowledging to yourself that you need help and will fully dedicate yourself to improving your life. After my bootcamp, I can honestly say that I have a different outlook on life. Just walking around, I feel more like a predator instead of prey. Granted, I still have a lot of work to do but the bootcamp opened my eyes to the journey ahead and provided a pathway to success.


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 Post subject: Re: LA Bootcamp August 09
PostPosted: 18 Aug 2009, 04:29 
Bodhisattvas
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Joined: 09 Jun 2009, 17:48
Posts: 870
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Heyyyy. Great having you and I was laughing thinking about The Edison with those two girls and me saying "Listen, if you don't go over there and get her number, I'm going to, and I'm not going to fail" haha and LO AND BEHOLD! You appear out of the woodwork and get BOTH of their numbers. Perfect success!

Awesome meeting you and I'm glad you got some good experiences out of the situation.



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