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 Post subject: Bootcamp Review NYC Feb 2012
PostPosted: 15 Feb 2012, 13:28 
Alumni

Joined: 14 Feb 2012, 16:34
Posts: 4
Bootcamp Graduate: Yes. Feb 2012 NYC.
So I just flew back a few days ago from NYC (studying in New Orleans right now) after 3 grueling but absolutely worthwhile days in a city that used to intimidate me. I'll revisit what I mean by that in a bit. First, a little about me and my experience. While I've read up to a good extent on information and technique from various mPUAs, I'm completely new to the entire community/game in the sense that my first sarge/set was 5 days ago on Bootcamp Day 1. For anyone struggling with crippling Approach Anxiety, I hope my experience can give you guys some perspective. More details about me in my intro in the main forum.

Let me begin by saying that I went into bootcamp with what I believe were realistic expectations and the right attitude, which I believe is necessary to get the most out of your time and money spent. Above all, you have to remain positive and trust in your instructors and the "method." I chose ABCs not just because I'm Asian-American but also because I do believe in its simplified approach that inherently demands a deeper look at your life and how you can improve other aspects of it as you learn game. I've always been a naturally introspective person and I can reflect on and view my own actions very honestly to teach myself and improve but bootcamp does accelerate the process exponentially by pushing your comfort zone during the night portion. It will be demanding and it will be scary, but that is why it's worth it. As a disclaimer, this is going to be lengthy since it'll serve as a field report/review. Let's get started.

Day/night 1: First set ever! Hooked + # close

When I first walked into the room I saw JT and Gareth in person and it took me awhile to get settled. I mean you have to admit, for anyone who has perused the website and blogs, finally meeting these people in person is a bit surreal. We immediately get started with 5 students before we were joined shortly afterwards with a 6th and that was our crew for the weekend. The experiences ranged from some having taken prior bootcamps to complete noobs like me and ages ranged from 21 to 30 somethings. I fell somewhere in between at 26. JT asked each of us what we wanted to get out of bootcamp going in. For me, having never gotten past my fear of approaching, I knew that I would have to break past that this weekend and expected to have a big sticking point in phase D, when I needed to pull the trigger and put my ego and intentions on the line, something I'm still working on in other aspects of my life (see what I mean). He and JT covered A and B and we ran some drills with them until our heads were just about to explode and then it was off to the night Venue.

We went home to clean up and all arrived at a rooftop club/lounge which was just my style (not too swanky, but definitely a classy enough place to bring in quality HBs to game). After everyone arrived, JT took a few students downstairs to begin approaches while 2 other students and I stayed with Gareth on the freezing roof (there were heat lamps, tables, a bar, and these red robes that you can borrow and put on before going out). Gareth did a great job of gauging our AA and starting with small tasks to get us warmed up. By the way, I can't stress how important this is for people who are inexperienced like me and have AA. Start small. Warm up and just be social without putting too much pressure on the outcome. Anyways I walked to the end of the corridor of the roof until there were no more people and was about to kick myself for not having talked to anyone when a bunch of Korean guys ask if it was OK to smoke on the rooftop. Apparently they thought I worked there and I suppose that had something to do with me not smiling, despite what Gareth went over with me when we were running drills. I took the opportunity to introduce myself to all of them and ask them how they liked NYC and America etc and after a few minutes I felt more relaxed and at ease... my "state" had changed and I could feel it. I told them I had to get back to my friends and turn around and head back toward to bar and where Gareth was when I saw 2 cute girls sitting at a table with some glasses of wine and food. I started to get nervous but then something snapped in me, I said "fuck it" and started walking up to them before I could convince myself otherwise.

Then my mind blanked and I hit them with the wittiest thing my crafty mind could impromptu: "Hey, how's it going?" which by the way was my go-to opener for the entire weekend when my mind blanked, which tended to happen a lot (Don't worry they gave us a script, I just forgot it all in the heat of the moment). I held out my glass and said "Cheers!" and what followed was one of the longest 3 seconds in my life and then the cuter girl on the right clinked my glass and said "What are you drinking?" to which I deftly replied "So what's your name? I'm - I mean uh- oh this is just water...Wh..that looks like white wine..."

And with that my first set ever hooked.

At this point I was so excited, but I remembered the rest of the opener script and quickly rattled it off before started on admittedly a pretty standard line of conversation/questioning. Looking back I think I got lucky in that I must have had enough passive value for me to stumble along. Gareth would tell me later that your own passion is what is important to convey. If I was was having a standard "so what do you do" conversation but I was engaging, interested, playful and congruent, then it wouldn't matter. We did a playful back and forth about what type of students we were until we came to the same realization that we were all med students. I made a joke about the irony of leaving New Orleans to meet non-med students only to stumble into them and playfully rolled my eyes and disqualified them and they ate it up. Nice! Accidental BT spike. We continue this way bantering until another student came up and I introduced him while he chatted to one of the other girls and I started to go into comfort with the cute girl that had graciously not left me hanging with my glass earlier. I pull up a chair and started Comfort. We hadn't covered this yet but I knew the gist based on what I had read on the blogs, previous material, etc. Another friend of hers joined and I quickly introduced myself and brought her into the conversation lest she turn into a sour grape and blow my set. When they finally get up to move downstairs to meet their friends I pull out my phone as say matter-of-factly that I needed her number and she gave it to me without hesitation (called to test if it was fake and to giver her mine - it was real). I must have built some attraction with the new girl who joined because she said "Oh... you're leaving?" and I said something about needing to get back to my friends who were probably wondering where I was (Gareth was) but that I'd check in on them if I saw them downstairs later (I didn't).

I went back to where Gareth was standing and he had already gone downstairs. I was a little disappointed since I thought he had been watching and really wanted to get some feedback. However the objective was the open sets and I suppose I did that fine and he went down to help some other students. Anyways the rest of the night I end up opening about 9 sets. A few on my own volition but mostly whenever JT or Gareth would point out sets and say "GO!" in my ear. I responded on instinct out of fear (?) and not wanting to disappoint them but I will need to work on the intrinsic drive to approach. Through the course of the night I did: 2-set seated HB 7/8 Parisians that hooked with 20 minutes of banter, winged a student for a 2-set of HB 8/9 Belgians that hooked but lost after a few minutes, opened two 6'0 and 6'1 Czech and Russian HB 8's and was winged by the same student, opening a walking HB 9 Scottish (looked Persian/Mediterranean) girl with her boyfriend right there, a seated HB 8 waiting for her boyfriend who was in the bathroom, and a few others through the night for just shy of 10 sets total. Most sets hooked, and the few that didn't were nicer rejections that I could have imagined. I was stoked as none of my targets were below and 8 and easily numbered among the most attractive girls there that night, something I was really proud of even trying.

This night alone I've shattered some strong limiting beliefs about myself. I have to thank the "experienced student" as well as he made a great wing and also helped me maintain a strong frame. Once I had warmed up, I didn't have half as much of the AA as I thought I would. I should also add that I gamed sober (it's a personal thing) to stay clear in my head and get the most of out any in-field instructions. I came to learn after all. At the debrief I didn't really get any personal feedback (this would remain true for pretty much the whole bootcamp unfortunately- I'll address this at the end) but some of the other students who had more trouble with AA that night did. I will also add that the student who was the most experienced by far also didn't receive much in feedback in the debrief...probably because he didn't need it. I will say they are brutally honest, as everyone else can attest to and I appreciated that. Remember, they are here to give tough love because that is what is going to instill change. Be prepared for that. A lot of bootcamp is about "manning up" in more ways than one. Embrace the fear, embrace the harsh truth and then grow from it. To those who are considering a bootcamp, I will say that they have an undeniable instinct about gauging your skill level and will spend time accordingly. If you need help, just be honest and find them. Don't run away and hide. You will fear them but they are there to help you overcome your fears as long as you agree to at least try. I trusted that JT and Gareth they had a plan, even if I did wish for some personal feedback at the end of the day. Onto Day 2.

Day/night 2: Hunters and Gatherers

Met up with most of the students for lunch and we did some homework together and just talked about our experiences last night and more about ourselves and our motivations for coming to bootcamp. After a ridiculous amount of material during the class session which focused on Phase C and D, we went home and went back to the same venue for bottle service and expectation to start pulling sets over to our table. Long story short, I warmed up with a few sets, stayed in comfort limbo with a girl and got hernumber but wasn't pulling anyone over and JT yelled at me, saying how just about everyone had pulled sets except me. Wow that got my ass in gear. Maybe its my competitive spirit or the feeling of shame in that I wasn't "pulling my weight in pussy" or something. I have to thank an ABC alumni who came out with us that night to take bullets and help us out in field (this alone says a lot about the program and the kind of people that take it). He said that one of the students was with a set upstairs on the roof but needed a wing and needed to escalate. I walk with him to be introduced to HB 8,9 German sisters who were suuuper friendly and hooked into the set easily when I switched into Spanish (I had lived and worked in Spain for a year and one of the sisters had lived in Chile for 3.5 years, go figure) and was on a BT spike and roll. I remembered JT's words and took control, saying they had to come downstairs with us to meet our "friend who was having a birthday" (thanks for playing Gareth) and besides, it was warmer.

I reached out my hand, took the hand of HB 9 busty German sister and started walking, giving her hand a squeeze- felt her squeeze back, and knew it was on. Let me tell you guys- I'll forever remember that moment. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I walked down the stairs with these two girls and people just started parting before me while I bee-lined it to the table. I also saw JT and Gareth's eyes simultaneously light up when they saw the girls. OK maybe its sad that deep inside I desperately wanted validation from them but hey- whatever gets my ass in gear. I make introductions and we do some strategic arranging as we had gone over in class so that I could move into C and start building comfort with HB 9. Unfortunately her English was not nearly as good as her sister's but that just meant I had to rely on more non-verbals like kino, facial expressions, and eye contact. When they were leaving to go to another club she asked me to add her on facebook (ugh) and I asked her if she had an American cell (nope and and leaving in 2 days) and I gave her a hug and was at a loss when JT was back in my ear asked if I had K-closed her and that if I didn't then he would. Something about that just seemed wrong so I went back to her and did the ABC close which worked like a charm. OK no makeout but if I wanted that then I should have pulled the trigger earlier when they were still sitting and not on their way out. Damn.

Anyways the rest of the night I opened a few more sets including a married woman who went to my alma mater and was 10 years my senior (didn't look it, can we say MILF?) but gave a really nice rejection, a girl who just did a backturn and went back to her friends ("worst" rejection of the entire weekend), a failed boomerang back to the first set I warmed up with (for some reason they really were not fans). My last set was a 2-set of blonde HB 8's that my experienced co-bootcamper opened and I helped by winging his target's friend, a Miami girl who was resistant at first but then complied when I took her by the hand and started taking her over to the table (a lot of what I learned is that the line is nowhere where I thought it was drawn and that if you push yourself, you can take it pretty far). My energy was getting low at this point and JT did not hesitate to tell me this upfront. He said I needed to get my energy up NOW and that girl over that I just sat down was MINE and that I need to TAKE her.

I nodded and moved the entire table so that I could make myself a seat next to her and went straight into a dominant Kino turn and BT gambit to turn her towards me away from her friend so my experienced co-studnet could get his game on. When I thought I was at a good point I tried to switch over to sexual and must have struck a nerve because she said "What? You did not just say that!" and got up and tried to drag her friend away (not before the student got the #, nice work!). I was a bit shocked, but also proud that I pulled the trigger, it'll just need some calibration. In retrospect I should went for a kiss close instead. Damn. Towards the end of the night the alcohol really started to take over in the club and the entire energy had shifted. I would learn the next day the difference phases of night game in a clubby venue but Gareth and JT released us. My experienced co-bootcamper, another student, and I walked out with JT and we all hustle to a Korean restaurant that 'experienced bootcamper' recommended where we shot the shit about everything from JT's story, his mission, an informal debrief for the night, to Linsanity (we were in NY after all). Then we ended the night. Gareth said his debrief could wait til tomorrow.

Overall, I kinda K-closed 1 girl (no makeout though) and also pulled a few sets over. I also dealt with harsher rejections than the night before without letting it affect me too much. I did kind of get overwhelmed after 1am when everyone started getting really drunk and dancy (I was still sober) and I noticed my previous game was not having the same effect. As I suspected, C transitioning to D was my big sticking point. Overall, a very educational and I would say successful night.

Day/Night 3: Every night I'm Hustlin' and Graduation

No meetup from the students today... I think we were all recovering from the last night. Personally I tried to review everything that had happened since Friday since tonight would be our last outing. Little did I know that I was in for something completely different. We went over Phase E and F in class and Gareth did a brief runthrough of his Text-to-Sex program which looked really promising (there ya go, shameless plug) and we talked about AMOGing and how to deal with it. Normally the 3rd night is reserved for purposeful AMOGing at a club but for some reason we had trouble finding a target-rich venue. There was an exclusive club for a DJ showing but Gareth and JT couldn't get in (I think something to do with timing, also it was a pretty hipster/exclusive type of scene). Myself and 2 other students went back down. We went next door to a pub-like place to watch some of the Grammys and saw that it was pretty dead there too but Gareth entertained us with his life story and showed us a few Gambits that he had learned to deal with AMOGs (He really has a lot of great little tricks, gambits, games to learn from). We decide as a last resort - it was time for the strip club. At the suggestion once again of our resourceful "experienced bootcamper" we go to Rick's Caberet where personally I was really curious to learn about essentially ultra Hired Gun game. For those of you who are more familiar with the community and material - it takes a different type of approach since these girls themselves are highly calibrated due to their beauty, status, and daily interaction with lots of people. The list includes bartenders, waitresses, hostesses, shot girls, etc anything you can think of related to using sex to sell or attract people to a venue and at the top of that list of course are the exotic dancers. Instantly we were bombarded after we all sat down and JT and Gareth talked about how resources were flipped in the club since they were trying to game you for money. Without revealing too much, I'll just say that I took some tips from both of them on how to game strippers and ended us getting a really, really great lapdance for free from one of them who was hustling me ridiculously hard for an unforgettable time upstairs. Guys, have some self control when you come into these places, it's a very confusing/different environment if you're not used to it. I also got to watch JT and Gareth game for the first time that weekend since they had been purposefully detached in order to watch us in field. Guys, they are very good - the real deal. The other students started to peel off one by one and I left at the end when Gareth and JT took a few of girls upstairs for uh ... well we can make our own assumptions. That was the end of the bootcamp.

I remember taking the opportunity while we were all sitting to ask JT and Gareth for personal advice/ feedback. They were each able to tell me something different which I think is a great way to get a different approach. JT mentioned that their job was the epitomize cool, and not create an idol to which students can clone themselves after. He said that Gareth was a screwdriver (smooth finesse) while he himself was more akin to a hammer (dominant, direct) in their gaming style. Even their advice for me reflected that as Gareth mentioned I needed to be more cognizant and sensitive when I game since I had a masculine energy but that could be taken to the next level if I was more socially intelligent and could pick up on more cues. Overall, that type of calibration required in-field practice and experience. JT said I needed to be more dominant - that all Asians should ere on the side of being more Dominant than not due to cultural and societal influences and perceptions (completely agree).

Final thoughts

If you're still reading, then you should know by now that clearly my head had exploded during the weekend. There was so much information that made sense in a different way once you see it in-field immediately after being introduced to the concept. For those on the fence of taking a bootcamp, I say: DO IT. Bite the bullet, invest in yourself but have the right attitude coming in. It's not going to be easy - nothing worth doing ever is. But it is so worth it. Every night when I came back I had trouble sleeping because my mind was still processing the progress I had made that night. Do not expect JT and Gareth to hold your hand every step of the way. The sad truth is that there are other students they need to keep their eye on during the night and while it was be great to get personalized feedback on every interaction, well I suppose that is what a 1on1 is for. However, do what I did and accept the challenge to find your own initiative to open sets and go learn so you have something to ask them about for feedback. Try to game in their vicinity since they will pick up on and watch and be able to give better feedback or intervene then. If Gareth sends you a text mid-set, read it and do what he says. If JT scares you a little or a lot - good. Use that fear to push forward further than you thought you could. Some of the students had some pretty limiting beliefs and attitudes, which I don't blame them for, but it makes it harder for them to teach you. Guys - do your homework and do try to get AA down before a bootcamp. If you can approach then do what I did and be comfortable going to bars and clubs at least. Work on talking to the staff or on nonverbals like making eye contact and smiling if the act of walking up to girls scares the shit of of you, like it did me. Most of all - YOU MUST GO IN FIELD. I would say that if you had to choose either knowledge over experience in field, experience is what will get you more progress. The bootcamp is designed to get you both and a running start. Knowledge is only useful if you apply it, and even then knowledge through experience is like forged steel vs. unprocessed ore that you HAMMER into existence through persistence and hardship. I hope those reading will get something out of this. I apologize for the lengthiness and the preachiness that I peppered into the entire review but those are lessons I'm trying to preach to and teach myself as well. Good luck in your journeys!

-Hammer

p.s. the nickname is one I got by chance in grad school, but also pretty apt for this forum


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 Post subject: Re: Bootcamp Review NYC Feb 2012
PostPosted: 23 Feb 2012, 14:41 
Warrior
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Joined: 19 May 2010, 19:48
Posts: 164
Hammer,

That's a great review and field report. I like that you really went for it and got over some approach obstacles. It's also great that your bilingual skills came into play!

To me, it looks like the weekend gave you the skill set to have choice-choice over who you will talk to and what type of girls you will date from now on. You had two of the most skilled instructors with very different approaches to the game but both of whom use the ABC structure. It can me molded to any type of game in my opinion. You really hit the nail on the head! (sorry, couldn't help it).

You're "worst" approach of the weekend when you got back turned didn't seem to phase you and I genuinely hope that that will always be the worst one you experience. Just remember that you're always in control of the situation and that you ultimately have the "power" to flip a negative situation into a good one! Keep on working at it and best of luck!



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 Post subject: Re: Bootcamp Review NYC Feb 2012
PostPosted: 25 Feb 2012, 06:26 
Alumni

Joined: 14 Feb 2012, 16:34
Posts: 4
Bootcamp Graduate: Yes. Feb 2012 NYC.
Thanks Sarah!
I'm trying to keep the momentum going through this first crucial stage so your words are very encouraging. btw, I'm a sucker for a cheap pun too ;)


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 Post subject: Re: Bootcamp Review NYC Feb 2012
PostPosted: 14 Mar 2012, 14:44 
Warrior
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Joined: 19 May 2010, 19:48
Posts: 164
:D



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