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Feb Starter Bootcamp Review:
My long delayed review.
DAY 1:
I came to the office a bit late because of traffic. JT, Gareth, Brittany, students Mr. Sprinkle, and another student C. (he doesn't have a forum handle, and I m not sure if he want to use his real name) were already there had started the lecture. Fortunately, I don't think I miss that such. Lecture was about A & B. Practiced our kino turn, indirect opener, etc.
Night:
I was raining heavily out side. I was surprised there were so many people when I got in.
Kick-started the first set of 4. "My friend Brittany is have her b-day... come said hi..." Bring them in, they congrats the b-day girl a bit, but I ready didn't continue with conversation. And it died down. With now my back turned, JT told me to reopen with i love you opener. Opened well. Continued talking with them. They are pretty fun group so BT was easy. One was the most vocal one, I said she most be the leader. Got a laugh. Talked a bit more with the group. The leader pretty much BT herself. I wanted bring the other girl into the conversation more (before this point I didn't pick target, now I chose the quietest one, chubby but probably cutest compare with the group). So I tease the leader that she talks a lot and saying "...see your friend here is much quieter, I think I liked her better. Another girl said "so you like quiet girl?" I said "not necessarily, but I like aggressive girl actually." Get a laugh from the group. But then it went no where. It was me with four girls, and I don't know what to do next. Then the conversation got boring and I ejected.
I kicked start the next group. 3/5 set. Three stand, two seating. Bring the 3 set in. I forget how it went, but I ended up talking the a girl with both us standing outside of the circle of the group. She seems pretty interested in talking to me. Couple of time conversation stopped she would reinitiate it. Then Mr. Sprinkle walked and joined us (Mr. Sprinkle later #closed her, good job buddy). All 3 talked for a little bit. I think at this point JT noticed me standing too far from the set and rocking in and out, he sent me to open another set, which I got blown out. Kick started few more then started to use l love you opener but nothing really sticks. I kinda forgot what's going on next so I can't write it here. At some point JT sent me to moving sets but I was always to slow. Then it's pretty much going down hill as I started to get tired and have low energy.
I kept approaching. At this point I felt like I approached almost every set. And I think some set saw me approaching all night. One girl started laughing at my face after like the first five words into my opener (maybe I already approached them?... I have so bad short-term memory). One set said "and you gotta tell me I love you?" when I used the i love you opener. I felt sick. One set of two hawaiian sisters sorta knew I was picking them up. When the older sister's boyfriend came and she gave this "you are dead my boyfriend are gonna get you" sort of look. The boyfriend came, he didn't say anything so I ignore him. The young sister was nice enough to keep talking to me and gave me a compliment about the necklace I was wearing. I engaged her a bit. But her boyfriend came by and they left.
We all went to eat and recap the night.
DAY 2:
I couldn't sleep last night. The lecture is about C & D. We also learn the direct opener.
Night:
This night is officially the suckest day of my life. We went to h.wood and had bottle service. The goal was to bring sets to sit down at the table. JT, me and 2 students went early, got a table upstair but the place was pretty much empty. Me and my 2 fellow students went down stairs but there were no set either. There was a small dinning area, three of us kinda stand next to it. We talked a little bit then I noticed a group of girls taking picture right behind where Mr. Sprinkles was standing. I quickly switched places with Mr. Sprinkles. On the next flash light I turned around are said "what are you guys celebrated?" Open pretty good as a girl said it was her b day. She had very high energy so I gave her a high five. Then she want to take a picture of us high-5ing but I said I want to do it slow-motion. I had a girl standing right next to me to hold my drink, then I went on to high-5 bday girl in slow-mo while having our picture taken. She was really pumped up and hugged me forcefully. At this point I wanted to keep the high energy, so I wanted to do another BT spike. Unfortunately, the only BT spike that came in my mind was the caveman/pick her up maneuver, but she was a big girl and I had a bad back. I got my drink back the girl holding my drink. Not until then that I realized that girl was really cute and that cause me to do a double take. I wanted to say something to her but it was too late. The b day girl walked away, and every other girls followed. Me and my 2 students went back to the triangle stand. Gareth and Brittany showed up around this time and saw the 3 of us stand in triangle (*sigh*).
This was the best interaction I had all night. We went back upstair and start opening as more people arrived. I opened mostly direct. "I think you are fucking _______, I want to say hi." I kind of liked it. It's simply, it's direct, it's easy to remember. Actually, I mostly open direct all night. Usually result in giggles but otherwise full attention. I didn't got blown out all night going direct except one set later that night used the boyfriend excuse. My biggest problem was what to say afterward however. It usually went like this: You are fucking ______ I want to say hi > AFC question > more AFC question > even more AFC question > eject. I was going nowhere all night. It sucked.
At some point JT and Gareth brought girls to the table, I hung around some time. I was introduced to 4-5 girls but I pretty much brain farted every time. I was only able to use my story twice. One with an indian girl, I finished the story but I fluff too much in-between and the story went too long and awkward. The other time was a girl talking with JT. JT introduced her to me and went away. I didn't know what to say so I thought fuck it, and I just told the girl "let's sit down" and immediately sat my ass down before she had time to react. She looked at me a little and surprisingly took the seat. I think JT must had pump her BT really high cause once she sat down next to me, she rubbed her leg up and down against mine. I went on with my story with the same mistakes I made, too long, not smooth enough. My material was good though as she said "it was funny" like three times. But it was not emotional captivating, it's more like a knock-knock joke. She was entertained but once I finished she left.
Bad energy weighing on me as this point. My approached anxiety, my social anxiety, my whatever anxiety were all time high. I poured myself a drink. Opened two sets which last no longer than 30 second. Got back to the table, poured another drink. And my brain just shut down. Gareth later saw me and said "just relax, you are done for the night."
I'd never felt like that my whole life. As I drove Gareth home he gave me a good pep talk (really apprecaite it, man!). Then I had an epiphany. All night I talked to all these people, I didn't remember one person's name. I was so into my material, getting from A to B to C, I was not having conversation to these people. All I did was waiting my turn to talk.
DAY 3:
The lecture was E, F.
Night:
The night was just me, mr. sparkles, C. & Gareth. This place we went was more like a lounge with two area where bands were playing music. It was a very slow night. It was Super Bowl sunday I guess so not too many people, and a lot of them were guys. First set I opened was a three set. Two of the girls were talking with each other, leaving my target simi-alone. I wanted to using the "you are fucking adorable" opener, but I went I walked closer, she looks really young (I know the place card people, but she looked more like 18), and for some reason I didn't fell comfortable cussing. So I changed the opener to "I think you are absolutely adorable..." Seemed open well, but she was really shy. I ejected after a bit, but I felt like the conversation, though short, went pretty well and I intended to re-open later on. I walked around and there really wasn't to many set to open. So I talked to a couple of guys. I followed JT's comment during the lecture, to just say Hi to people walking by, or just say nice hat or whatever to people. I did that. I walked back to Gareth and he pointed me to a seating set. I approached direct. And for the first time when I said "you are fucking gorgeous", I really meant it. To me, that girl her face alone is like at least solid 9. One side note, the whole week, when JT or Gareth said 2 set, go!... 3 set, go!... I really don't any idea what the girl looks like, and it kind of funny when I went direct. Especially, when I approach from behind kino turned, sometime I was caught off guard. I was like "you are fucking...uh (waiting until I saw her face)...adorable...." Anyway, opened direct on the seated HB. Not too much reaction from her. Now, she was seating, I was standing. The music was loud so I every time her said something I had to bend down to listen. This of course was not good at all. Conversation soon dead and I had to eject. I went to Gareth and told him the situation. He said, do your opener, seat down. AH! So simple, why didn't I think of that?
The night I was much more relax. Gareth liked how I smiled more. That's because I was actually enjoy myself a little bit more. I talked a chubby gal who turns out to be the manager of the band. I talked to a lady who selling the band's tshirt. I had some good interaction. I watched the band performed. And noticed the very first set with the young girl was there. They were at front and the stage watching the band. I wanted to reopen them later on, but I lost them. I talked the guy who was the guitarist of the band just performed on stage. Really interesting guy.
The night was very lay back. Mr. Sparkles had work the next day, so he took out early. He was gonna give Gareth a ride home. Me and C. stayed a bit longer. Then Gareth texted me because he left his stuff in my car. As I went to get C., he was talking the set I was gonna reopen! I had been looking for them, but it turns out them were sitting in the corner. Well, too late. Me and C. went to meet up with Mr. sparkles and Gareth. After a short debriefing, the night ended. And we are now alumnus.
What I learned/need to improve:
Conversation Skill: I am a sub-par conversationalist all my life. This is one of the reason i am taking the bootcamp. To force myself to simply talk. The weekend is not gonna change me a lot. There is no quick way to fix this. I just have to learn how to small talk.
Hold/control the conversation: when I approached a group, it is up to me to keep the conversation alive. Right now, either group don't invest much into the conversation, which in case, is my responsibility to keep it go, and lose interest; or the conversation get out of my control, which I would fade into the background. I need to DOMINATE the interaction from early on.
Be in the moment/positive/have fun: I was so inside my own head that I wasn't really have a real conversation most of the time. One point Gareth made during the lecture was the difference between interesting conversation vs. pick-up conversation... there is none. I need to learn to be in the moment and simply learn how to have fun.
Improvise/think quick: This is part of the reason I suck at small talk. I cannot improvise. I cannot BS. I always think logically. I need to learn more things to talk about and I need to learn to link different topic together. JT and Gareth always have something about any situation and topic. Words just seems roll out of their mouths. I need to learn that.
Stack: I need to stack. I need to IABT. Most of the time I wasn't following that. Most of the time, any surprise during the interaction would throw me completely off track.
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