Help - Seduction of My French Tutor and Texting

I have a one-on-one French teacher who is completely gorgeous. We make plans to meet up for lessons via text and when we do meet up for lessons, its more like two friends hanging out learning together than a student-teacher relationship. Keep in mind, I am out of school now (24) and she is older than me (probably 27). I make her laugh and last time we were together, we went into her room where she showed me how she could play the piano.

Long story short, I had to break a 20 at a coffee shop so I bought a coffee even though I didn’t want one. On my way home from the lesson, she texts me:

Her: I owe you a coffee
Me: You will have to take me for one…
Her: Ok.
Me: Ok this Thursday. We will call it a French lesson. D’accord?
Her: Is it a French Lesson?
Me: It doesn’t have to be, we can just hang out and speak French.
Her: Ha alors ce n’est pas une lecon de fracais (translation: Ha then it is not a French lesson)
Me: That is fine with me. Thursday after I get off work. D’accord?

Then I never heard back. I may have misinterpreted her texts, but what do you guys think. How should I proceed – Drop it? Text her in a few days like nothing happened? Keep on trying?

I cant understand the first sentence... did you buy her coffee ( and didn't want to)? or did you buy yourself coffee even though you didn't want one?

That text comes off as "Mr Nice Guy" It is very unassertive and it seems when she called you on the coffee in order to avoid a confrontation you just tried to hide your intention by making it seem "OK" because its just hanging out and speaking french.

By doing that you can also fall into the (friend zone) trap by setting her up as your french "buddy" and then asking her out, thus creating a huge in-congruence with your actions and motives. By doing so you completely neglect attraction and go from comfort --> seduction, which we all know..it doesn't work to well.

Sounds like you are sending mixed signals. If you are going to have coffee with her have coffee no need keep on re framing your interaction as French student - French tutor/teacher. I wouldn't be surprised if you try to speak french when out with her and she corrects you, turning that interaction back into student/teacher mode.

As long as she sees herself as the tutor/teacher you are in her reality... you cannot seduce a women without bringing her into your reality.

I would say wait a little, you may never know she might just be busy. If you drop it you will never know at least with waiting you always have a small chance.

This is good advice so far.

The beginning of the story was that I owed her 50 dollars, but I only had four twenties. I had to break my 20 dollars somewhere in order to pay her. The coffee shop could not just break bills unless I bought something.

The reason I was taking somewhat of a middle ground is because I didn’t want to ruin taking French with her because I am actually learning. I can see that I might have.

Is my middle ground stance able to be reversed? I definitely should not apologize right?

Gotcha! OK i see where the coffee comes to play.

Why would you apologize? you really didn't do anything wrong. I would pick a side, either you stick with it and learn french or actually generate attraction and eventually express some direct interest. The middle ground will get you nothing fast.

Truth!

Returning to the basics - "To get the girl you must be willing to lose the girl."

So yeah, pick a side and live with the consequence! That's how learning works.

“I have a one-on-one French teacher who is completely gorgeous. We make plans to meet up for lessons via text and when we do meet up for lessons, its more like two friends hanging out learning together than a student-teacher relationship. Keep in mind, I am out of school now (24) and she is older than me (probably 27). I make her laugh and last time we were together, we went into her room where she showed me how she could play the piano.

Long story short, I had to break a 20 at a coffee shop so I bought a coffee even though I didn’t want one. On my way home from the lesson, she texts me:

Her: I owe you a coffee
Me: You will have to take me for one…
Her: Ok.
Me: Ok this Thursday. We will call it a French lesson. D’accord?
Her: Is it a French Lesson?
Me: It doesn’t have to be, we can just hang out and speak French.
Her: Ha alors ce n’est pas une lecon de fracais (translation: Ha then it is not a French lesson)
Me: That is fine with me. Thursday after I get off work. D’accord?

Then I never heard back. I may have misinterpreted her texts, but what do you guys think. How should I proceed – Drop it? Text her in a few days like nothing happened? Keep on trying?”


The gentlemen have a point you are sending this girl mixed signals. Don’t be apologetic for expressing your interest in her, as there is nothing wrong with it. The only time it is wrong is when you give the girl direct interest and then only to reframe it as being friends. That is cowardice and should never be done. Wait a few days and try pursuing her again. In order to make an omelet you’re going to have to break some eggs.