conversational help

My biggest hang-up is continuing fun/flirty conversations with someone I've just met. I have no problem going up to a girl and opening her up and transitioning into something else (usually some kind of cold read), but if she isn't really into it I have trouble leading a conversation and keeping from going down the what do you do etc route. Any suggestions?

It's great that you've gotten past even that first step of approaching! That's more balls than most guys.

Anywho, you say if she isn't really into it...

Well, first let's check your outer game.

Do you have good hygiene? (brush teeth, ok-nice breath, smell good, clean, etc.)

Are you dressed nicely? (If you don't know... have you gotten compliments on your clothes? Or consult a men's fashion magazine such as GQ)

Hows your tonality? (does it vary, go up and down (in pitch) and keeps the girl interested? Ex. you can't always be excited, so are you happy, sad, tired, pumped?)

Facial expressions? Same as tonality

Body language? Are you open or closed? Are you standing up/sitting up straight or are you hunched over? Are you holding something in front of your chest? Or are your arms spread out in a warm manner?


If all those you checked as PERFECTO, then great! Moving on.
After you've fixed all outer game problems, you'll see HUGE improvements to your confidence. You'll look better, smell better, and most importantly, feel better.

If you just suck at flirting... Find a friend who will play improv games with you.
Or write down a list of things that'd make a girl your perfect girl. Memorize that list from A-Z and know it subconsciously. THEN, go out and make sure the girl fulfills each and every single thing on that list. If she doesn't, then she should be easier to talk to now that you know she's not the one and could be a new fuck buddy.

I think my outer game was fine but how do I keep talking and conversing in a fun, flirty way until the girl opens up...I keep getting stuck at that same point

I think you have an issue with listening to the girls. Within the first couple seconds in an interaction, the girls usually give you something you can work with, and if not you can observe her clothing, the colors she chooses, the length and style of her hair, her makeup, etc. When your not in your head it is easy to spot opening you can continue convo off of. Start lining up interesting stories, think of things you have watched and can get her opinion on, you can talk about food, relationships, fashion, makeup, sex, and girl gossip. Those always hit with girls because they all have their own opinion of those topics. Learn to make statements that will prompt her to correct you or to make her ask why you mentioned that. These are simple ways of doing it but it really is a matter of practice. Hope that helps.

maybe you should start asking some questions about her, not allot because girls don't like that but 2-3 questions just to start a topic with her can help alot..it's hard to talk alone, make her be a part of the dialog ,to feel important and when she talks you shut up..when she stops you talk again, and put another question if you feel you run out of ideas..

Thanks for this is really helpful.