|
I just moved to New York City about half a year ago. Since then, I was in two relationships. One started basically when I moved here and ended a few months ago. The second started shortly after my first and ended last week. Before New York City, I was in college, so I didn't need to go sarging. There was always a constant supply of girls. Now, however, I finally need to learn how to hunt!
I went out three nights this week so far: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I will also go out tonight, Friday, and also Saturday. I've been accompanied by a good friend who took a bootcamp with a different pickup company.
TUESDAY:
We had a terrible time finding a good venue. In the end, we couldn't find any venue at all. Surely there must be good places to go at night in New York City. We just didn't find them yet. We ended up just sitting at the pretty empty bar of Brother Jimmy's. The only actual "approach" I did was for the bartender, who wasn't really that cute.
(A) I opened her with a comment on the music and a big smile. She smiles and comments on how she likes the music, but gets tired of it after a while. (B) I tell a story about myself related to her last comment, which I've never told before, so it was freshly improvised material. The story itself wasn't great, but she was still listening and responding.
At this point, I let her go back to work. Honestly, I was just not attracted to her.
What I did well: Made a busy, unhappy bartender smile with my approach.
What I could have done better: Told my story better to make it funnier. I'm not exactly sure how I could have done this, but I should have created some expectations to create humor instead of telling the story in chronological order.
What I learned: Finding a good venue to go to on weekday nights is essential. Tuesday was a terrible use of my time. Only one approach in the entire night, even when I had no approach anxiety, was pathetic.
THURSDAY:
We went to 230 Fifth, as I recalled it was crazy packed on weekends. However, on weekday nights, it was incredibly underwhelming. It looked like a couples dinner place. I saw nobody I wanted to approach, so my friend and I left. We went to The Thirteenth Step afterward. This place was MUCH more crowded. However, I still found nobody I found attractive except for... another bartender. Ugh. I make the approach anyway.
(A) I go to the bar, smile, and nod at the bartender. She says that I need to speak to the other bartender if I want to order. I say, "No, I wanna talk to you!" She isn't smiling or anything, just steps out from the bar to hear me speak. I say, "You have the prettiest smile I've seen in 2012!" She smiles but then starts shit testing me, saying, "We're only 30 days into 2012..." I say, "30 days is a long time; you're doing well!" She smiles. She pats my chest in a patronizing way, not so much IOI. She rubs my cheek too, also patronizingly. "Thank you, that's sweet. But I need to work!" And she goes off to deliver some drinks. I chase after her a little bit. I say, "Hey, I like a working woman!" However, she doesn't respond. I stop chasing after her. Later in the night, I try to make eye contact with her and smile, and she doesn't look at me.
What I did well: I made the approach. I spoke from my diaphragm to be heard above the loud music. I recovered from the shit test.
What I could have done better: I'm not sure... she would have been a tough audience. Maybe I could have been more dominant and sexual? Also, I'm not a fan of the whole "I like a working woman" thing I said as I chased after her. It felt weak in retrospect.
What I learned: I find very few girls attractive enough to approach. My approach anxiety isn't as bad as I thought it would have been. I'm sure it helps that I was sarging with a friend.
THURSDAY:
My friend and I went to Circle. Thursday's goal was to work the dance floor in a club setting. This was different from the past two days, where my goal was to make approaches and try to make the girl laugh.
(A) I approach a mixed set with no particularly attractive girls. I just wanted to approach somebody. I say, "Is it weird that I've been in New York City for half a year already but this is my first time here? All my Asian friends come here every week!" But that opener fell flat on everybody except one girl. (B) I comment on her freckles and say, "I wish more Asian girls had freckles actually!" She isn't very into me at all, but she is polite. Eventually, she leaves with her friends.
(A) I see a very cute girl across the dance floor. I do the Walk of Khan, kino-turn, and smile. "You have the most put-together outfit in this entire venue tonight!" She smiles and says thanks. She starts turning away from her group and facing me. (B) We start getting to know each other more. Honestly, I can't really remember exactly what we talked about, but we learned a lot about each other. (C) Eventually, she seats herself in a nearby high stool, and we continue talking. However, she's deliberately trying to friend-zone me. She tells me that she's a good wingman and can point out the cute girls for me to approach. I dismiss her every time she says that, and she always laughs. I'm glad I'm able to make her laugh, and every time I do so, my confidence goes up a little more. However, I gave up at this point. I try one last time and ask for her phone number. She gives me her email address instead and insists that she's much older than I am. We guess each other's ages, and she is 10 years older than I am. She guesses I'm 24, but I'm actually 22. She comments on my "youthful aura," which reminds me of a comment JT gave me during my bootcamp. We part ways feeling positive, although I'm bummed that she friend-zoned me because of my youthful energy. She was, in my opinion, the cutest girl that night.
(A) I approach a very plastic-looking Asian girl. "You look like a fun person who's not having enough fun right now!" She doesn't say anything. I look at the big Asian guy next to her. "How do you two know each other?" She points at him. "He's my boyfriend." The boyfriend looks very intimidating. I shake his hand and wish them a good night.
At this point, the dance floor broke out. It's been half a year since I danced with a girl, so I'm very excited to have fun. However, I get blown out pretty frequently. This surprises me and knocks my confidence, a lot. I thought I had pretty good dance game. This never happened to me before. I leave the venue feeling dejected.
What I did well: I approached the cutest girl in the venue and made her laugh and smile. We established a decent connection, although I couldn't make her sexually interested in me.
What I could have done better: Maybe not have been so dejected so quickly after the dance floor events panned out.
What I learned: I'm just as critical with Asian girls as I am with white girls. I thought I liked Asian girls more and would be more accepting. Lol. I'm not. I also learned that I need to brush up on my dance floor game. I learned my approach anxiety isn't bad at all, which is fortunate. I learned I have a LOT more work to do than I initially thought. I guess my final lesson is that my social circle game is MUCH better than my cold approach game.
Time to get to work at get better! Jinjo is singleeeeee
|
