seeing results - the sexual guy

Hi all,

One thing that I've struggled with is the fact that somewhere along the line I picked up the idea that
sex = dirty/bad
To desire someone sexually = I'm a bad person, offensive, and an asshole, "Gross", "pervert"
To top that off, I don't want to be thought of or think of myself as those things, so I try to be the opposite of that, which means that a woman would never know that i'm interested in her or not because I come off as not interested, neutral very non sexual....even though on the inside i'm thinking "I'd really love to bend this chick over and..."

For some reason, the template burned into my mind when it came to relating with women was one that had me hiding, and or showing the opposite of what I felt.

Lately however, Since my Seattle bootcamp in November 2010, I've been displaying more sexuality in how I joke, in the things I say, in my eye contact.

I've been seeing results in that some of the women that are in the vicinity of my work place are starting to hug me more... flirting and saying fun things like "hey baby"

I used to see guys do that and think "That stuff just isn't for me...i'm probably not sexy or good looking enough, it's just not the type of guy I am"

But now since I've been flirty and showing more of a sensual side... It's setting the example for how these women can be around me...
in an odd sense, they seem MORE comfortable with me.

I can't wait to get beyond this issue fully, because even though they are expressing towards me in that playful sexual manner...
i'm still uncomfortable going beyond it, so I still feel like a "fake" because of how nervous I am on the inside.

I'm sure that with practice, some time and experience, i'll build that confidence in.

I notice the guys that get with the girls have absolutely no hangups about sex, and to them it doesn't mean bad things about them for wanting it and nor do they shy away from being labeled whatever negative things that people want to label guys who like sex and get lots of it.

Anyhow... Be Sexual guys
NeoLife

For a lot of guys, there is a fine line between being sexual and being creepy. And it's a big fear to cross that line. No one wants to be that creepy guy.

Personally I would suggest to everyone to let the girl be sexual and you just being comfortable with it. How to do that? First, give her a reason to get sexual. Get in really good shape, get a tan, get a sexy haircut, wear sexy clothes. Have a reason to take off your shirt. Then focus on leaning back, smiling, and letting the girl know you are comfortable being sexual. Don't joke at this time, it's a defense guys use when they are uncomfortable, get through it.

Good luck out there!

-Johnny Wolf

Hi Johnny,

Thanks for the insight. You're right, being comfortable with being sexual is the point. I do notice that although my actions can indicate to the women that I am comfortable, and I AM becoming more and more comfortable as I push further my comfort zone in this area, that I still joke and lessen the anxiety through using humor. It's a great escape route.

Thanks man
Neo

Neolife: you're not alone man. I'm working extensively on D-phase right now too.

Hey man ,

Love your post , yes the guys that are good with woman are the guys that are confident and they accept themselves for who they truly, it's not the looks and money that's gets the girls but the sexual confidence and charisma that gets her . You could be ugly as fuck for all I care , and still party with the porn stars, take small steps to build a strong inner game and the woman will soon come