okcupid profile up for one year has no bites

Hi. It's kind of frustrating that my game is piss-poor in real life and on the internet. I've been e-mailing and responding to every casual encounter ad that I've come across to no avail. I'm not the most photogenic person and I feel that that might be a big thing.

My self-summary
Sure, I can go on and draw out a list of stock descriptions, but I view such lists as the mark of someone who's lazy and trying too hard. Instead, I firmly believe that the proof is in the pudding. But for the sake of disclosure, I will say this: I have an unbridled passion for life and have found my biggest outlet for this passion in music. Lately, I've found myself living out my life with untold amounts of variety, heeding Wilde’s warning of how "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

What I’m doing with my life
I play bass guitar and sing in a band. Playing in this band has allowed me to live my dream of traveling and in the process, I’ve met amazing people from almost every walk of life. I repair and renovate bikes.

The first things people usually notice about me
Some piece of outerwear I have on

The six things I couldn't do without
1. loving family
2. awesome friends
3. yoga mat
4. books
5. my bass
6. steel-cut oats

You should message me if
you've read this far and have some interest. Don't window shop. I don't bite...much. Really, though, I'm looking for a chill friend to hang out with who feels comfortable being herself. No pressure. No expectations. If I found a woman who is above and beyond the average Portlander, then I’d be interested in seeing where that could lead. If something happens, then it’s meant to be. I’d prefer to let nature run its course in these matters. That said, I'm ultimately looking for someone who's striking on the outside and down to earth on the inside. As for type? I'm looking for someone fit, intelligent, attractive, goofy, laid back, with passion. To clarify, if you're attractive, but have a history with being shallow, flaky or materialistic, please don't waste my time. If you like a challenge -- someone who's a bit elusive, vibrant, funny, and not afraid to put you in your place or have a little verbal sparring back and forth--, let's talk.
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Anyway, that's my profile.
My dilemma is that I despite my having no real standard anymore and mass responding to every ad I see on craigslist, I'm still being rejected by literally everyone I've expressed interest in as I'm 30 and still a virgin with having had no physical intimacy with a woman. I want this to change and maybe it'll start with a polished profile. I've chosen to go the internet route since my height isn't as apparent there as it is in real life and would like to play to my strengths. Thanks!

A picture is a thousand words. As far as looks, those can be modified by who your with and what activities you do. If your in a band you should stick some band pics up. Or pictures of you doing fun stuff. Stick your pics on hotornot.com and choose the ones with the highest scores. My strategy when I was doing online game was I woudl go to Plenty of fish.com. It's free. Then I would create 2 female profiles and have them write slic reccomendations to myself.

Then when I did a mass email I would write in the
headline

Subject: Hey!! I remember you!!

Text: I love 2 out of the three things about you....

Now when I sent this out I'd get a lot of non response, but its pretty easy to copy and paste. I got quite a few dates from this but I have to admit the quality of girls off online either tends to be thick or hot and crazy. Still its a good place to get some dates under your belt.

Hope that helps. I might also want to tighten up your profile. Too many words, most girls dont got that much time to read especially when their are a million profiles out there

Why are you messaging girls looking for casual encounters? Message normal girls. And stop repsonding to craigslist personals.

I just made an okcupid account a few days ago, but I have had a pof for a long time. I like pof's layout a lot more and think I get proportionally higher reply rates compared to my okcupic account (but my profiles are a little different, same idea, but my okc is significantly shorter). Haven't met anyone off of okcupid yet, but I have gotten replies and I did meet a few off pof. What I have realized is if your real life game sucks, learning via online game is gonna be seriously challenging. So its better to work on your real life game, and then maybe take another look at online game later on.

A few things stood out that I really didn't like on your profile:
"The first things people usually notice about me
Some piece of outerwear I have on" - change to either a joke or something else about you

"You should message me if
you've read this far and have some interest. Don't window shop. I don't bite...much. Really, though, I'm looking for a chill friend to hang out with who feels comfortable being herself. No pressure. No expectations. If I found a woman who is above and beyond the average Portlander, then I’d be interested in seeing where that could lead. If something happens, then it’s meant to be. I’d prefer to let nature run its course in these matters. That said, I'm ultimately looking for someone who's striking on the outside and down to earth on the inside. As for type? I'm looking for someone fit, intelligent, attractive, goofy, laid back, with passion. To clarify, if you're attractive, but have a history with being shallow, flaky or materialistic, please don't waste my time. If you like a challenge -- someone who's a bit elusive, vibrant, funny, and not afraid to put you in your place or have a little verbal sparring back and forth--, let's talk.
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This is way too long. Say something much shorter. You could say "You are not shallow, flaky, or materialistic. ...or you are at least no more than two out of these three things". Or maybe just something like, "You may message if, and only if, you do not watch Maury Povich".

I'm not really suggesting you use one of these two, I'm just suggesting you rewrite it to something shorter of your own choosing that maybe shows a more fun side to your personality. And try to not have a too needy approach to the game, messaging every girl putting up an ad on craigslist or a "casual encounter ad" on okc (I've honestly never read any such ads nor messaged girl looking for those things). Talking to girls in real life is a much better way to solve your problems than messaging them on the internet. And in order for the online game to work, you are gonna have to meet them at some point.

Is this on okcupid? or Craigslist?
I have done Okcupid and gotten some dates, which one are we talking about?

You have a profile with no bites, are you expecting girls to message you? Like in the real world, YOU have to open them. Have you taken a boot camp? JT is plenty of proof that height can be overlooked if you have GAME. I agree with the others, stay off CL, it's a waste of time. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but I think you will get better experience and results by going out and meeting girls in person..

thanks for the responses, everyone! Sorry I've been AWOL. I should now have more regular access to the tubes. Anyway, as I said, I'm not super photogenic and I find a lot of the pictures of me that I do find are not super appealing. I will definitely shorten that last part of the profile, which was modified from Internet Insider Dating from Dave M. The worst part is that my "actual" profile is an admission of all my insecurities and more or less a cry for help. Knowing just how one can't dry up a girl more than with this kind of forthrightness, I looked to Dave M., whose gimmicky-sounding techniques seemed to be different enough for me to try out.

I consider myself as having no illusions of me needing to be the one taking initiative as I have messaged a number of girls on okcupid as well. What makes it really bad is that I've yet to get used to rejection. The most recent one hurts just as much as the first, if not more, due to this pattern showing that even persistence doesn't quite work for me. But maybe I'm not being persistent enough? what's the threshold for that?

I'll stop answering craigslist ads and try out plentyoffish as well. I have an account there and don't know where to begin. I suppose I'll randomly mass message girls and hopefully that'll get rid of approach anxiety?

In case you couldn't tell by now, I'm easily discouraged and it becomes really hard for me when I don't find my efforts to improve myself in the energy department, the humor department, the brains department, just don't seem to pay off. I feel like I intellectually understand what's being taught in the lit. for the PUA, but have yet to understand it on a deeper and practical level.

When reading some of the reviews of the bootcamps, I worry about whether the camps don't have hired guns to give the attendees. If the warm fuzzies that I'd get from the hired gun helped me go back home a permanently changed person, then that would definitely be worth the price of admission.

thanks, again.

Pictures are pretty vital on OKC. If you still haven't added one, you should - even if you don't think it's a good one. If you have a pic of you playing with your band, then it definitely doesn't need to be a good one. Chicks dig musicians.

Someone also pointed out something - you need to do the messaging. Has anyone rated you highly? (OKC sends emails when you get a 4- or 5-star rating.) Send them a message. That's usually the closest thing you're going to get on there... most girls get a ton of messages, so they don't usually bother sending them out. Also, expand your profile a little bit overall. Add some musical, food, movie, or book preferences. That way someone can actually know what to ask/talk to you about. There's nothing worse than wanting to message someone but not knowing how to start a conversation because there's a lack of information.

Bravo has a really good speech on the 21 convention site and even a system on it.. You should be the one messaging girls..

don't these sites make you list your height anyway?

also what do you do for your career? do you have a stable job/make good money?

in a 19 year old guy, girls will be more into the band thing and being an artist/adventurous.
In a 30 year old guy, they may be looking more for someone to settle down, someone with stability and a good future, someone to provide for her etc.

if you don't have a stable career maybe thats a bigger turn off than not having great looks/height?

imo, online is a good place if you have a high passive value that can be instantly conveyed in a short profile such as good looks or career/money.
If you have neither, than you need to rely on game, and online gives you a very limited venue to utilize game until you get an actual date.

and also did you say you have approach anxiety in ONLINE game? its completely anonymous its like posting an youtube comment, who cares?