Johnny Wolf, an ABCs of Attraction Approach Coach, and founder of the SoCal Lair had this really good startup guide.
Johnny Wolf's Quick Startup Guide!
Okay a lot of guys new to the community ask me the same question:
"Where do I start?"
I always give the same To-Do list,1. Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.
It'll open your eyes to what is possible, take you through about two years of the journey, and introduce you to some of the characters in the community.
However, realize, that this is one person's path and that yours may be different. Also realize that the book is based heavily on the in-direct method, mainly using Mystery's Methods. Also realize that this is a TWO YEAR journey with 100% time and financial dedication on Style's part. Also realize that this book takes place and was written 5+ years ago, which means, there are a lot of new amazing gurus out there now who weren't mentioned in the book, and a lot of the guys that were are now very commercial and or unevolved.Purpose:
For inspiration, and to understand what is possible for guys just like you.Dangers:
Getting idol worship, a false sense of what is possible, and striving to become a god like master pick up guru which is like striving to be michael jordan, when what you actually want is a lot simpler and more attainable.Natural Alternative:
Look around for role models, community or not, someone that is good with women and happy. If they can do it, so can you! Also read my blog and asian playboy's blog to see what we came from, our struggles, and how we became great with women. Also read bootcamp reviews, guys that are just like you that started with nothing and what they've accomplished.2. Read the "Venusian Arts Handbook" or the "Mystery Method" (paperback).
This is one of the best breakdowns of social interaction and how women work, its perfect. But its too perfect, realize that real life isn't perfect and social interaction isn't naturally structured this way. Also realize that Mystery's methods are designed for HB9 and HB10 stripper/ADD types and not your average, down to earth, girl. Purpose:
To get a "scientific" understanding of how game works. Dangers:
What you'll learn is very detailed and ingenious, but it isn't at all natural and if anything it might mess up the way you interact with women. You may start seeing things too scientifically and think more is needed than actual real life. You will learn to "neg" which often hurts you more than it'll help you, and you'll be learning an old method created in 2004 which is unevolved. If you "peacock" and use any of the routines and examples in the book in 2009 you will be laughed at. Natural Alternative:
Just understand the basics of game and social interaction and don't take anything as written in stone. Social calibration, confidence and bringing out your best self is much more important and useful in game than understanding the concepts behind them. Check out "what are the ABC's of Attraction" for a breakdown on what the structure is, and go out and use it! Don't try to learn everything about game at once, just learn how to open, go out and do it, then come back and learn some good comfort questions, go out and use it, and so on. If you need help or want to cram it all into a quick three day course, just take a bootcamp. 3. Join your local lair.
Meet up and go out with some of the guys that you click with. Then go out with guys that you don't get along with, just so you can figure out what style you like best. Check out www.bristollair.com
for a list.Purpose:
To get some wings to go out with. It's fun to talk about game with people with common interests. And you get to meet some famous instructors and gurus too.Dangers:
The blind might start leading the blind. Especially on a lot of internet forums where you never met the guy, don't assume a high post count has anything to do with real life skill, it's often the opposite. Watch out for guys that are stroking their own egos and want to impress you or other guys more than they want to go out and meet women.Natural Alternative:
Find somone who is optimistic and more imporantly either good and humble lair member, or a paid professional with good reviews. 4. Find yourself.
Figure out what your true goals and intentions are what type of women you actually want. Now figure out what type of method you want to follow. When you do, don't waste your time on mASF or any other forum all day, I wasted 6 months posting and reading everyday and realized it was the biggest waste of time ever. Go out in field, if you need to read material, read the articles on Bristollair.com and you're good to go. KJs never get laid they just want to impress other guys and stroke their own egos.
If you are naturally good looking, tall, well-spoken, think about going more towards the Natural methods, such as The Approach, Juggler's Charisma Arts, David Wygant, etc.
If you are a engineer, accountant or computer guy and want to know the science and structure and use If, Then methods, then indirect methods work well for you. Venusian Arts, Mystery Method
If you are more of a frat boy or wished you were one in college you can join Real Social Dynamics
Then there is the direct method. If you already have a lot of strong inner-game, ie. if you think you are god's gift to women and you should be getting laid everyday already but somehow aren't try going direct with Badboy, Shark, etc.
If you are a minority or want to specialize with a guy you relate to, there are guys like Asian Playboy.
If you want an over all well balance structure based system that combines all of the positives of indirect, direct, and natural game then look into the ABC's of Attraction.
If you have absolutely zero social skills, you will need a lot of field experience just to catch up and be NORMAL and non creepy. But its okay! You need to get through it.
Here is what's going to happen.
You start with zero, or negative social skills and you start approaching and practicing....which will creep out women and make them uncomfortable. But only after this step of catching up to normal guys will you be able to advance.
But then you because normal, and the results will be positive. It'll take months or years to catch up and just be decent. So expect to be worse before you get better.
On average, attractive women start getting approached 3x a day since they hit puberty, which means 21 a week, 84 a month, and then about 1,000 guys a year that give them oppertunity for sex.
So if you don't even have 1,000 approaches and social interactions with women, you are not going to be as socially calibrated as most women. So get out there and get your 1,000 approaches under your belt if you want to become great. But if you just want to be good which is actually a better alterantive, just do 100 approaches to rid yourself of approach anxiety, and strive to become a normal, natural guy that has women in his life.
Remember this, the only thing we can know for sure, is that we don't know. I promise you that you do not know what you want yet, and your goals and yourself will change in the next few months and defeintely in the next year after discovering the game. So keep an open mind and don't lose yourself completely in this, after all, it's only a game. And life is real.
This is our year. Better yourself daily and enjoy!http://www.thesocialsecrets.com
- The personal blog of Johnny Wolf