In no particular order. Here are 10 lessons I learned just living my life. Hope it speeds the progress of the younger guys out there.
1)
Do not set your relationship status to "Single" on facebook. I learned this before my involvement with the ABCs. IMO it makes you look desperate by listing Single, but more importantly, when you're in a pseudo-relationship like it's just starting off or it's a fuck-buddy thing, you may not exactly be "single" but you're not "in a relationship" either. It's just fucking awkward and it's best to avoid it all together and if the girl brings it up, you can always say "I don't list my relationships on facebook."
2)
Know how to cook at least one good meal from scratch. I've cooked for girls at my apartment, and it worked out okay in the end, but honestly I didn't win any points with my sub-par cooking skills. Something I still need to work on.
3)
Bring condoms! There have been MULTIPLE times where I thought "Oh I'm not going to get laid" but then I meet a girl one things leads to another and we're making out in my hotel room or in the back of my car and I don't have any protection. This just BLOWS! I like traveling light so I don't always keep one in my wallet (too bulky) but I keep a few in my car and whenever I'm traveling, I'm sure as hell going to have some condoms.
4)
Have a second place to jump a girl if you're meeting up. There was this smoking hot Mexican girl that I met on vacation and she happened to move in to town. I met up with drinks with her and her friend, and I figured we'd just chill at the bar, but they wanted to go out somewhere like a club. I looked like a fucking chump not knowing any hot spots around town. Whenever I hear about a cool place, I bookmark it on Yelp! That way I always have 10 cool bars/lounges to go to ANY day of the week.
5)
Go to events/festivals in your area. This ties in with a previous one, but I can't stress this enough. You never know what type of situation you will land yourself in. Secondly, it's just cool to go to new events/festivals, etc. It makes you more worldly and you have something to talk about. I get a newsletter e-mail that talks about cool things going on around town. Find the one in your town.
6)
You don't always have to go for the kiss close. Now I'm glad I pushed every interaction to kiss close at least so I have that experience of knowing when to kiss a girl, but just because you CAN make out with someone doesn't mean you should. I've messed up a few friendships because I was thinking drunk one night "Hey I want to make out with ____" If you like the girl, go for it, but if you're just looking to make out with someone for one night...don't do it with someone you already know.
7)
Know when to be sexual and know when to be romantic. I was with this fucking cute Colombian (I like latinas if you haven't noticed). I genuinely connected with her and she was the one to kiss me. I brought her outside for some intense making out and some 2nd base then I tried to get her to come back to my place. I did that way too quickly! It was just too fast with her and she got it in her head that I just wanted a one night stand, which I would've been happy with (and I didn't even get) but I genuinely was into her too. The nail in the coffin was when I tried to do a BT spike by typing my phone number into her phone "My Name Booty Call." A funny routine from Gareth, but just not appropriate for the situation, a big turn off for her.
Dance with a girl first, don't immediately start grinding her. If you're at a club or at a party, girls will inevitably start dancing. Unless you're a professional salsa dancer, you're never going to win over a girl just by dancing with her, but it helps to dance a bit just to show you're a fun guy. Depending on the music do one of two things. 1. If it's more hip hop, start dancing next to the girl and push your butt next to her so you two are dancing back to back. It's very non-confrontational but still sexual. 2. If it's maybe more rock/latin take her hands and dance and spin her around once or twice. Girls LOVE to be spun! Lastly, do NOT immediately start grinding on a girl, it's awkward for everyone involved and you creep her out. She will grind you if she wants too.
9)
If you know a relationship is over, end it and don't look back. Hooking up with your ex just because you're in a dry spell is NOT a good idea especially if she has different expectations. People get hurt and you're just making it worse by prolonging the inevitable.
10)
Don't give up so easily if you're really into a girl. Basically if you're into her, see it out to the end. To that point where she is outright saying no to you. Obviously don't overdo this, but it's the worst feeling to think "Oh there's a still a chance with ____" Find out if there is a chance, and if there's not, move on with the next girl. It's much better for your peace of mind.
