PUA ups your chances of getting laid, but also screws it up

Minty,

Your personal experience is absolute. I am certain that others have had similar experiences to yours.

Being that you've opened up the subject of personal experiences, I'd like to share some of mine with you.

1. Pick up skills made girls more comfortable around me.
By utilizing the ABCs conversational structure, I was able to learn when it was the "right" time to share my personal stories with a girl, thereby making her feel more comfortable with getting to know me better. Before taking the bootcamp, I would often go out and try to meet girls and get to know them, but I didn't have the sense to know what kind of information I could share about myself, and when. However, after learning how the ABCs structure works, I don't just start talking about my childhood and where I grew up right after saying "hi." (Yes, I did random-ass shit like this before taking the bootcamp). After going through beginner's hell, I learned the discretion and gained the experience I needed in order to share the right level of personal information with a girl at the right time so that she would be more and more comfortable with learning deeper and deeper things about me as the night goes on. What's great about learning pickup is that I gained the freedom to be able to tell a girl exactly what I was up to... even on the first date! I told her that I used to be very shy, awkward, and lonely, and that I hired a professional to teach me how to talk to women. She was very understanding, and she loves me for it. That's what I did with my sexy girlfriend, and I've been with her for about three years now. Oh, and as for routines-- those are the absolute worst thing you could possibly use on women. That's why at the ABCs of Attraction bootcamp, you learn how to talk to girls using stories from your own life. That, in my opinion, is what puts the ABCs of Attraction ahead of all other dating coach companies.

2. I became more confident with girls after I learned "game", and I was able to conquer my loneliness and neediness.

Prior to taking the bootcamp, I was the king of neediness. I was so needy that I would cling to whatever girl would "date" me, or even just put me in the friend zone, because being near a girl, in my mind, was better than begin alone. For me, anything was better than being alone. There was one time, back in my pre-bootcamp life, where I was dating a girl for several months. She mistreated me, she got me to buy her things, and she got me to do various errands for her. One time, we were supposed to meet up on a Saturday afternoon at 1pm. She didn't show up at 1pm, so I waited. Then an hour went by. Prior to 1pm, I put my clothes in the washing machine, but at 2pm I didn't want to go downstairs to put it in the dryer because I was afraid I would miss her call (no reception in the basement). I was planning on putting it in the dryer when she got to my place so it could dry while we were out. But then 3pm came around, and then 4pm. Finally, she showed up at around 5pm and didn't apologize, didn't mention anything being out of the ordinary (as in... um... being a few hours late for our date), and what's worse? I didn't call her out on that. I just gave her a big hug and welcomed her into my arms. I was the textbook definition of an Average Frustrated Chump. I didn't want to say anything about her being, um, a few hours late, because I didn't want to agitate her or have her get upset with me. Do you see how messed up my thinking was back then in my super-needy and super lonely state of mind? Thankfully, though, learning "game" gave me the one thing that I needed in order to conquer my neediness: CHOICE. Once I had choices of which girls i wanted to date, and when, and where, trust me, all traces of my old pre-bootcamp needy self simply disappeared.

3. When I do "game", the sex I get has always been, and currently is, a million times better than it ever was in my pre-bootcamp life.

All of the (very few) girls that I had sex with in my pre-bootcamp life were girls that chose me. I was desperate, I had no skills in meeting or talking to women, so the only girls that dated me were ones that wanted to have some hanger-on in their life. Some guy that they could treat like crap, and occasionally use to buy her stuff, or do errands for her. I was that hanger-on (or, orbiter, if you will). On a rare occasion I would get to have sex with the girl. But, of course, that would be at a time of her choosing. That was a horrible way for any man to live. But, I lived that life for 30 years because I had no skills with women, and I didn't know any other way to improve my situation. So I put up with it. However, after I took the bootcamp and began implementing the principles, lessons, and the right fundamentals provided by the bootcamp, every single girl I ever had sex with was a girl that I chose, that I approached, that I talked to, that I shared conversation with, that I shared experiences with, and that I romantically connected with. I know of no better way to have the most awesome romantic adventures in the world. I have had many of these with lots and lots of girls of all different ethnicities, interests, backgrounds, etc. I chose each and every one of them, and I shared many awesome romantic adventures with each of them. And, after all of that, I currently am continuing to have many romantic adventures with one of the girls that I chose three years ago. She's my girlfriend, and it is without a doubt the best romantic adventure I've ever had in my life.

4. Doing PUA in my friends' social gatherings makes a shit load of people have a whole lot more fun than they were having before I got there.

I always use the principles, lessons, and the right fundamental skills that I learned from the ABCs of Attraction at all kinds of social events, and also professional events. At professional events, I follow the ABCs structure, but I modify it so that it is appropriate for the situation. For example, instead of expressing comfort and connection in a romantic sense, I direct the conversation in a way that makes the people around me comfortable with my professionalism. Instead of expressing direct romantic interest, I express direct interest in that professional association or that profession's objectives (otherwise I wouldn't attend that professional event in the first place). When I'm at my friend's social gatherings, I express my direct interest in things that we have in common (otherwise I wouldn't talk to that particular person at that social gathering in the first place). Wherever I go, in whatever social groups' event I attend, I utilize the core fundamental principle of the ABCs of Attraction: be a fun maker, not a fun taker. Thus, I always add to other people's lives whenever I possible can, and I do it in a way that is confident, adventurous, and mutually respectful to myself as well as the people around me. And to top that all off, I use all of the cold approach and warm approach skills I learned to build my own social circle. That's why all of the social events I host in my home, with my girlfriend, usually have a 3 to 1 girl to guy ratio. The ABCs of Attraction structure has helped me gain the skills I needed to choose my friends too.

In summary, as I said in my first sentence, your personal experience is absolute. It sounds like you're not getting a positive experience by using your "pickup skills" in daily life. In that case, I suppose my personal experience will cause you to either re-evaluate your approach and implementation, or not. But that's the beauty of life-- you get to decide what you make of it.

-William

Minty,

Your personal experience is absolute. There's no doubt in my mind that you've found a means to get what you want out of life, and that's really what counts.

I once lived a life where I tried to romantically connect with girls without sharing my personal stories with them (DHV), without communicating with them through physical touch (kino), without getting regular feedback from them on how they were feeling moment by moment (compliance testing), and without attempting to demonstrate any kind of social value, either through my own friends, or through casual acquaintances (pivots). And let me tell you, I lived a seriously depressed and lonely life because of it. Without doing those things, I was never able to connect with any woman. These are the exact principles that I used to help me connect with the myriad of girls that I romantically connected with years ago when I was single, and they are the same principles I used to meet my current girlfriend, who I've been with for 3 years.

If you've somehow found a way to connect with women without doing these things, then you have definitely accomplished a great deal, and I'm glad that it has worked well for you!

The things you have mentioned are the principles, lessons, and the right fundamentals taught by the ABCs of Attraction bootcamp, and if your friends learned the "wrong things" from "the community," then they should probably stop listening to "the community," take an ABCs of Attraction bootcamp!

Best,

-William

I think I should use an example I used in one of the discussions - learning PUA is like using crutches.

It's good for beginners or people coming back from a terrible moment in their life to help them back on their feet and learn to walk. It's good for people like me who do not know where to begin on socializing, where to take conversations, and how to get sexual with a girl. It helps make the transition easier, but the ultimate goal is to learn how to get on your feet and walk. Crutches is there for support until you can get there. Like pickup - it's good for beginners who don't know where to begin and provides a guide or a step-by-step instruction on how to do something. Once you learn to walk again, you no longer need crutches, like being so natural at it that it becomes a 2nd instinct, but it's still recommended that you keep your old crutches in the off case you fall and need it again (i.e. come out of a bad relationship that lasted 10 years and you forget what it's like to socialize again).

Okay... that was a bit messy. Perhaps the 2nd example will be a lot better.

Another example for PUA tactics and instructions is like for us in medical school, using a step-by-step checklist called the Calgary-Cambridge method when interviewing patients and obtaining a history from them. At first it was necessary because we don't know what the hell to ask a patient when taking a history and what to look for. It provides us an excellent beginning method to know what to ask, because we just have to memorize a checklist. But then, when we interview more and more patients, we realize when we're reading off a checklist and asking things off a checklist in our head, we are thinking of what to ask next and not really paying attention to what the patient is saying, and thus we miss out on a lot of important facts and information they were supposed to have provided us.

And then we start to use the checklist as a guide and not an iron clad rule. We keep what information we need to ask in our checklist to ourselves, but we focus on the patient and the interview and obtaining their info. And we do whatever we're best at and what personality and methods suit us. Some use humor. Some are good with children. Some can relate to the patient, like drug-abuse or domestic violence.

But it all started with the CC method, without which we probably wouldn't even know what to ask, even if we use all of our charm. We don't adhere to the checklist strictly and ask everything in a drone or a monotonous voice. We implement our own natural style and personality in talking with the patient while remember ing what we learned from the CC method and use it as a reference to know what to ask, but using our own way.

I think pickup is like that, too - what we learned from the ABCs as beginners is a checklist of what we need to do. And after we have done it so many times, the checklist becomes natural to us that we don't really need to adhere strictly and think what to do next and instead we can focus on charming the girl and where to take it and what you want to express.

The checklist is helpful and will always be. Like learning formulas and equations for beginners math, once you practiced applying the formulas and equations so many times, you don't even need to think of the equation anymore. It's just there and it sticks and becomes a 2nd instinct, which is BASED on the foundation and basics you learned. Just like PUA.

@William: Also, I'd like to show my gratitude once again for your helpful tips you gave me across the ABCs forum and various discussions. Especially the one about building the basics for humor and normal conversation. They really helped!

No, I agree with you - pickup isn't everything. You don't need pickup to get girls, i.e. how the vast majority of the people in the world get girls. You can't claim that the ABCs of Attraction is responsible for every single happy relationship in the world nor any other of the other attraction companies and their bootcamp and products.

It's not everything, but it is useful. For example, I'll compare once again pickup to planes. You don't need to take a plane to get from one location to another. You could drive. You could walk. You could even take a boat. But planes speed things up. They make things more convenient and they provide another option and can make life easier. Just like pick up. That's all the two cents I'll post, one cent for each post.

And remember, just because you use pickup doesn't mean you need to hurt the girl. =) Just like owning a gun doesn't mean you will need to fire it at passing people.

Back to grinding for exams for me. Oh the horror. T_T

We did. That was the entire point of the F Phase, your Future: Are you a Fake pickup artist or a Fun up artist?

I just have to add my perspective after taking my boot camp. At least this is what I learned and observed . Abc of attraction is just a system of how to communicate and approach a women. Long before there was abc of attraction or pua . Guys were still meeting women, so of course there is other ways to meet a girl. But for some guys that are totally clueless they need a system . That's where abc of attraction can help.


I think where the mistake happens is that I notice some guys copy each others openers, DHVs stories , or even identities. This is where it gets messy because that's not you. As APB mentioned the F phase is being the real you. Plus PUA is not a magic bullet. I really think any half decent pua system can work but it's only as good as the person that is using it.

I think I can understand where Minty is coming from. This happens with some puas. They get caught up with puas and over saturate themselves with PUA. In other words they over think and sometimes think the answer lies in pua. I think. Instead of working on themselves they try to find answer in pick up. This is where I think they make a mistake.

Good luck on your journey =). Remember, pickup is a means/tool, not a path to your goal. That one you'll have to walk yourself, and I'm sure you will do fine. Best of wishes.