If you're shy, you will NOT get girls.
REPEAT- If you are shy, you will NOT get girls.
Despite whatever television shows and movies you've seen, the shy protagonist doesn't miraculously get the babe in real life. This is a bullshit fantasy and accepting that one day...that one motherfucking day you'll get the girl of your dreams, despite living a mediocre life is a lie.
Look, I believed the television shows and movies too. Additionally, I also read the dating advice columns in Maxim, Men's Health, Esquire etc about how to get girls- thinking that being shy was fine, just as long as I was "being myself" and "being confident"; then she'd have like me, right? Oh yea, I also memorized the most clever pickup lines thinking that would help too. Thing is, NONE of these resources addressed how exactly to "be myself" and "be confident", or what it even meant, or how it actually worked.
And somehow, at the age of 24 I was still a virgin, and still never kissed a girl.
Sure, I could've continued to believe everything was alright. Perhaps I could've gotten "lucky", landed on a DTF drunk fattie, got laid once or twice a year, if ever. If this sounds acceptable to you, then please go to the upper right hand corner of this screen and click X. This article is not for you.
The truth- Being shy is unattractive.
The next paragraph reveals how and what I did to remedy my shyness: Transforming from a loveshy loser to a man that confidently approaches the women he's attracted to...
10 Tips to Overcome Shyness & Attract Women NOW!Do NOT give a damn what anyone thinks about you- When you give a damn, you're reacting to others, seeking approval. You teeter on eggshells; feeling uncomfortable, intimidated, insecure and confused about what to say/do. Be your own person, live your own life. Do what you want, and others do what they can about it.
As an exercise, chant this yourself right now- "I do NOT give a damn...what anyone thinks about me". Do this as much as you'd like, til you feel a physiological sensation and your voice sparkles 100% certainty in the belief that you honestly do not give a damn what ANYONE thinks about you...
You do not need anyone else to make you feel good about yourself- If you're looking for someone elses' validation (especially a girl)- you're being a bitch. And you will never be attractive; no girl will ever have sex with a guy she feels sorry for. As a man, acknowledge that there is nothing someone can give you that you can't get for yourself.
You, and ONLY You, can control how you feel about yourself- Be cognizant how you FEEL in relation to the world around you, not self-conscious. Don't take yourself or the world too seriously; find humor in everyday life, draw inspiration, cultivate a love for being. Check out Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now for an understanding of ego and the role if plays in constructing the beliefs about ourselves and the world.
Give yourself permission to be the man you want to become- List the traits of the 'ideal' man. Understand those traits and shift your behavior towards becoming THAT person. The blueprint is there to follow. Think to yourself: How would my ideal self react to a situation? Also, give yourself permission to be THAT person.
You’re either confident or you’re a bitch- You cannot be 'almost confident' or 99% confident. Confidence, as I understand it, is purely the absence of fear. Nothing is holding you back; no mental obstacles is in between you and what you want. Notice how a five year old can be just as confident as CEO; just because they don't have a care in the world and no mental obstacle holding them back.
Stop masturbating- Check out my effective How-To guide on controlling your masturbation habits.
http://thelegendofjt.blogspot.com/2010/09/when-its-over-youre-really-only-fucking.html! By not masturbating, you are more expressive, harnessing greater levels of creativity and energy.
Talk LOUDER- Visualize yourself as a fucking boom-box exploding the awesomeness. Speak LOUDER by pushing the air from your stomach outwards, not the air from your throat. Remember too, everything you say is important; it is important because it's coming from you.
Be the Music- Sad people listen to sad music. Have you ever heard a rap song where the rapper felt bad about himself? NO. In rap music, to provide example, the MCs are having a fun time just being themselves, being the party, and living the life they want to live. Besides being awesome, rap music reinforces the mindsets of men that do not give a fuck what others think and they aren't shy to express who they are. Now, check out R. Kelly's song, "I'ma Flirt" to dial and inspire the pimp inside you: Click here see R. Kelly Spitting the Truth
Join Toastmasters- I cannot vouch enough how helpful this was for my own development. By joining Toastmasters, you are forced to speak to a public audience and you will receive honest, encouraging feedback towards sounding/appearing more confident. Click here to find a club near you!
Take action- Join a GYM, develop good posture; the mind will follow the body. Get involved. Be proactive. Be a man and take charge. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
The richer your life is, the better you should feel about yourself. You + Taking Action= your best self.
Additional tip to remember,
Girls love sex-
This is not an instant tip. To realize this as the TRUTH, you must go out and approach women. That's it. Referencing and internalizing the ten tips above will allow you to feature your most attractive and confident self when you step up. For a woman, a highly confident man (regardless of looks, money, status) is the equivalent of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model for men. Simply,
Confidence=Attractive
