New guy here! I've signed up for Sydney Bootcamp in May 2012

Hey everyone - it's Raigon here. I'm new around these parts.

I've asked JT personally to sign me up EARLY for the May boot camp set for Sydney next year. I would have done the one in November, but it clashes with my final exams and I was too late for the May boot camp this year.

A little about myself - everyone calls me Nick, and I'm a medical student studying in Australia (originally from the United States, spent the past 7 years in Taiwan, and now I'm in Australia). To tell you the truth, I've had some pretty big difficulties with girls in general - I'm afraid to approach new girls and those that I've managed to get past my shy barrier I end up making lame conversation and getting the girl bored. Sometimes I even creep them out, which is no good. And that's made me approach women even less, because I'm afraid of them.

When college flew by and my only two relationships were girls I met over the internet (one on a gaming community, and the other in an anime forums) - I realized after I graduated that I haven't had a first kiss and I've just turned 23 years old and getting older, while my peers and buddies around me are already getting married, had sex many times, or at least kissed many girls and had plenty of relationships. At first I hated myself because I thought that I'm not attractive and thought I could never get a girl to like me. But then, I realized that it was because of the way I was raised - I'm Asian and raised with the Asian values: focus on your career. I've never had the opportunity to go out and meet girls and have been focusing on my path to medicine. That's made me socially awkward, as well. I'm afraid to approach women and when I I'm not a very outgoing person, who prefers to stay home and watch drama on my computer rather than join friends to go to clubs or parties, because my parents told me not to and to focus on my studies.

But I realized, this isn't what I want. Even if I become a doctor, I end up 35 years old without having met a single girl or having the time meet anyone. And if I end up doing an arranged marriage, it will be embarrassing as hell. A career is nice, but not having a girlfriend or having someone special in my life that I personally hunted for or chose myself doesn't make up for how empty my career feels.

Sorry for the rambling. I took this bootcamp in hopes of being able to romantically connect with a girl(s) and for her to romantically connect with me. I want to transform myself from the home-bound introvert into a someone who can show a girl that he can have fun and that he can attract you and that he can be a man of your dreams.

I want to have a girl love me, I want to kiss a girl, and I want for us to fall in love with each other and start a relationship where there is mutual and everlasting love. And to do that, I feel like I need the skills - because I just found out what reality is - even if the best and most compatible girl for you is right in front of you, if you don't have the skills to attract her, to you, she's just another pebble on the side of the road. This is why I wanted to attend the bootcamp - to attain the skills necessary to attract a girl and get her to fall in love with me.

I'm actually also a bit scared that I may be the only newbie here. I'm also the typical well-behaved Asian, who was brought up from a buddhist family that taught me not to drink, not to do drugs, not to have sex before I'm married, etc (though sex for me will be a different story - I still won't do drugs, and prefer not to drink).

Is it possible for a well-behaved, well-brought up, timid Asian kid to become a PUA? Also, will there be other people like me in the bootcamp or will there be more experts than n00bs? Because From watching some of the ABCs of attraction videos, some of the students there look like pros and I'm sort of intimidated. What's the newbie to expert ratio of a traditional boot camp?

I'm pretty psyched about the bootcamp to tell you the truth and can't wait to start the hw assignments. I entered the password for the pre-bootcamp assignments, but I can't find the packages (will they be sent to me by email or are they the downloadable files?)

During the 1 year before I go for the bootcamp, what should I do to prepare ahead of time assuming that I'm too shy most of the time to talk to women? I have a pretty huge fear of women in general, the more attractive the greater the fear.

Hey Raigon! Welcome to the boards!

Don't be so intimidated about being a newbie and all. Most of us started where you are right now, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

In regards to what you should do in the meantime before your bootcamp, I would tell you to start living a more social life. Go out of the house, start conversations with random people and make new friends. Start doing new, fun, and exciting activities so you always have stuff to talk about when interacting with new people. Always try to think positive and keep your words positive. Take things one day at a time and never get discouraged. It sounds easier said that done and, I won't lie, the journey can get pretty tough. But keep your head up, post your questions and field reports here on the boards and we'll do what we can to give you feedback.

If you haven't already, check out: the-war-room-f34/ for some tips and tactics.

Thanks for the welcome Mike! I've read your post and I've taken your advice and suggestions to heart.

I've gone out a bit more when I've arrived in Australia than back when I was in Taiwan, so that's definitely an improvement (gone to quite a few pub crawls, actually and a few social events). But I still have a long way to go - I started out strong, but then got intimidated by people getting drunk and loud noises that I've sort of reclined, now that final exams are just around the corner. And once I get discouraged, everything I've built and accumulated start to crash around me.

But that's no excuse not to get jumpstart my engines again. I'll start with some of the reading material you've recommended and up my social life a bit. What kind of field reports are you expecting? I can definitely post them, but I'm not sure what you're looking for. It's a long way for me to go a bar alone or nightclub and try to talk to women. I don't know why, but I find it easier to talk to women in normal, daytime settings and sometimes I go up to random people in malls or buses and say hi and introduce myself (I never get their numbers, too shy and timid to get that far, but at least I talk to them and they warm up to me sometimes). I never do that in bars because I get intimidated by excitement and loud noises. Is that normal?

By the way, I've been looking for the Pre-Bootcamp Prep Package that everyone's supposed to get, but can't seem to find it. I found this:

[Ed - That's what you're supposed to get. Everything is on that page.]

Is that it? I also found a ton of books you're supposed to read under the "recommended study guide" - are you meant to read ALL of them before the bootcamp? Even if you only include the ones with the asterisks, it's still quite a lot of material and that's coming from a medical student. O.O

Welcome to ABC’s Raigon!

By definition of what a boot camp is --- it is meant for “beginners” so have no fear.

You remind me of my cousin who spent years becoming a dentist (thinking that would get him a girl) but now that he is a dentist --- he’s worried about gold-diggers after his money!! The thing I don’t like about the Asian mentality or assumption saying that you must get the job/money first is that it teaches you that to get a girl that you have get something EXTERNAL to you…something external which could also be transferred/stolen away or lost easily as well. This also pre-supposes that you must “buy” the girl in some ways.

At first I wondered why you would book something so far into the future (like one year)?!! Who knows what your plans and schedule would be like by then…but then again --- depending where you are now --- it might be appropriate.

From what I observed from fellow boot camp students and members of the “community” --- some people have a lack of social skills/intuition/experience etc. and have such inner issues and limiting beliefs that I felt they should have worked on that stuff before even trying to pick up girls!

You mentioned in your previous post that you “got intimidated by people getting drunk and loud noises that I've sort of reclined”…this fear of drunk people kind of indicates where you are at. What I mean is that it might take you a year to get your social skills in order before going at the really hot babes.

This next year probably gives you enough time to do some interesting things with your life like take a SCUBA diving course, travel, sail a boat etc. so you do have something interesting to talk to a girl about.

By the way --- this night club game in a bar could be one of the hardest environments to start off in so you might find it easier doing social circle daytime things like joining a film club or something like that just to build up conversational skills etc. first. Most of the White Guys I know do not do well in a night club.

You might want to work on general social skills and develop a social network even before reading the Pre-Boot Camp Package.

Hey, mymeowcat - thanks for the welcome! I look forward to the bootcamp and I'll definitely take your advice, too and build my social circle. It's going to take a lot of time, because I'm just starting a revolution in life not just with girls, but with making friends in general (being an internet douche who stayed at home more than go out for way too long in my life that I realized I needed change).



Thanks for the reassurance. I know that in my heart that it's for people like me and there will be more people who are starting anew rather than people who are already good trying to up their game.



I know... My parents brought me up with the mentality. ==" I hated it.

They told me "Once you get into a good university, girls will come into your life, no problem." I got into National Taiwan University, the top school in Taiwan. No such thing happened. Then they said "Oh, once you get into medical school, girls will be upon you like bees to fragrantly flowers." Well, I'm in medical school, one of the best GEMP's in Australia, halfway into my first year and nope, what they assured me didn't come true. And when I told my parents, they said once again, "Once you become a doctor, girls will flock towards you." At this point, I'm not really going to believe them. Even if that is true, I'm not going to wait that long for that to happen, because it's a LONG way off before I start making the serious money if I become a doctor and even people with wealth and status who don't have the confidence or skills to take initiative in hunting won't get girls.

And even if girls do come to me when I have wealth and status as a doctor, it's as you said - it drives a wrong way of thinking into my head that I need something external, when I know that there are people without such wealth and status, with pure confidence and inner game that get girls. Wealth and status do help, but they're not everything. Wealth and status is like adding a jet pack to a bike, but if you don't ride the bike yourself, you're not going to get anywhere.

It actually took a lot of courage for me to admit this and to sign up for the bootcamp (because all my friends tell me that these bootcamps are for losers and it just scams people desperate enough for money). So I signed up for it in secret while keeping my name anonymous (and to people I do tell my actual name, please keep my information confidential).



That's one of the reasons - I don't even have the basic social skills normal or even some below average people have and would want at least a year prior to build that up again or else even if I take the bootcamp, I won't gain anything from it. Another reason is much simpler - the bootcamp in November coincides with my final exams next semester. And JT and gang only comes to Australia 2x a year (I was too late for the May bootcamp this year).

And even in medical school, I plan to take this seriously, even after bootcamp I'll continue to practice at least 2~3 times a week (at the busiest, I'll still go on weekends - Adelaide is a small city, but it does have its share of bars and nightclubs and even daytime social events and rallies). I know that if I make the excuse saying that I'll wait until I graduate because I'm in medical school and I don't have the time, even after graduation there will be internship and residency, where I'll be even busier. And when I become an actual doctor, I'll have a 9-5 job and I'll never run out of fresh excuses to procrastinate. Better to start right now than regret it years later, thinking I could have started earlier (like I do now, thinking I could have started back in college).



This is true for me, too. I have a ton of things I need to work on if I want to get the max out of the bootcamp. I'm paying a lot of money for 3 days worth of lessons. In a way, I guess, it makes sure I get my moneys worth, even if it's simply because I already paid for it - it's an investment worth spending.

Becoming a doctor and saving lives, and getting attractive girls along the way - if I could only have 2 wishes in the world, those would be my two. I'm on my way to one of them, and I want the other to come true as well. If I only have one over the over, it's meaningless for me (though the same could be said for just getting girls and not becoming a doctor - at the very least, doing medicine is something I wanted to achieve my whole life).



Perhaps even longer (it should be a lifelong goal, actually) - but since I've signed up for the bootcamp, I'll make it my goal for May next year to take basic social and interaction skills to the next level. As I said, I've put in a lot of money for the bootcamp and I want to make sure it doesn't go to waste.



Sounds fun! I'd definitely love to try new and interesting things like scuba diving (though almost all dating or PUA bootcamps suggest scuba diving for some reason). Traveling I already intend to do, as we're to do our medical rotations all over Australia.

I've taken up fencing for something new as well as inline skating, which I'm happen to be pretty good at. I'm also good at writing, as I've been on quite a few adventures as a child. However, destiny opens some doors and closes others. I suck at dancing and got kicked out of my university dancing club (which is not exactly an achievement I'm proud of). Should I give it another attempt? I'm in a new school, and here, dancing isn't competitive, but for fun - like salsa and stuff. I also suck at conversation sometimes (not really suck, more like good at times when I don't expect and suck at times when I need to be good. What's the word for it... erm... inconsistent, yeah that's it. I'm inconsistent with my conversational skills).



I found that out the hard way. Whereas I already find it hard to talk to girls and normal people in the daytime, my AA levels in night clubs are so bad that one time I attempted (with a couple of my buddies winging me) to go out and try just approaching girls, and ended up freezing and not doing anything at all. It was the most embarrassing time in my life and I never went to a nightclub or bar again (nor any pub crawls for that matter, which was a pity, because I usually do so well in pubcrawls where I'm surrounded by familiar faces). I guess I need to face that fear lest it consumes me. That would really suck. =="



Done and done - this will be my first goal. Should I write field reports for those? I won't have time until final exams are over, but I'll definitely be sure to post weekly. What kind of field reports should they be, because you told me to work on general social skills? It'll be different from the field reports where PUA's or bootcamp students write about their experiences with girls, cuz I'll be doing social stuff with people in general. Or only the ones where I approach girls?

Apologies for the really long reply - I worry too much sometimes. I'm pretty anxious about getting this right and sometimes I tend to overdo it - especially with posts. =/

Hey there! Welcome to the brotherhood!

Take no shame in taking a bootcamp, it's the first step to gaining social intelligence. You're on the right track brotha!

My sister is actually in medical school here in the USA. I see where your parents are coming from, "When you're a doctor, girls will flock to you!" Yeah right! The guy my sister is dating is one of fellow med school students. He's a bit of a chumpy fellow and asked my sister 12 times within a YEAR if she would be his girlfriend. 11 times she said NO. The last time she got sick of it and said yes. It's probably not going to last terribly long, but my sister does enjoy his family's cooking

Sure, you can go ahead and write up field reports on whatever you feel necessary. Someone here will be happy to read and comment on them. We are all in this for one reason or another.

Welcome to the brotherhood!

You will learn sooo much from the Bootcamp, especially since you have little experience in the field.

The members above me are giving out some fantastic advice. Additionally, I advise that you go out and talk to random strangers (which I read that you already do, good job!) and read up on some inner game reading materials. Read the Game etc and just browse around PUA forums.

I completely understand how you feel. When I was younger I had absolutely no game and no attraction from women. In fact, even if I did attract some girls I was too naive to know it. I used to wonder...wow does my body give off an aura that just repels away women? I seriously thought that there was something wrong with myself for not being able to get a date. But ever since I started reading about the art of attraction, I knew that I would become a ladies man one day.

If you've survived this far into medical school, you must have lots of discipline and intelligence to get this far. Attracting women is no different, it's merely a skill set that must be learned and applied constantly in order for it to become second nature to you.

Good luck bud.

Hey Raigon:

Congratulations on at least realizing where you are at and that you need game. Over 99% of the Asian Male population probably don’t know this and think all sorts of wrong things and even refuse to seek help thinking they know everything already.

I like your jet pack and the bike analogy and how you need both. I know Asian Dentists and Doctors and Engineers who never banged or even dated the kind of women I do.

Before the boot camp here are some general pointers (that won’t get you laid) BUT it will be part of your bike.

1) My parents sucked at English. My teachers almost gave up on me and I was sent to a special school for the “special” students. I had to pick up my English and social skills with TV and movies. I believe that actors and scripts are selected after careful research of what people want to see so they get ratings / advertising money (or else the show gets cancelled). So for you --- I’d suggest watching TV shows and take out certain behaviors of the leading characters and even taking certain lines and using them in normal social situations. I bet there are a lot of DVDs and TV shows about doctors that you can learn to use.

2) If you had Chinese parents like I had --- it is unlikely they took you camping, fishing, etc that would have expanded your horizons. Now that you need to be in social environments to get a girl – you can not function because you have nothing to talk about. The best way to break out of the cycle if you have no friends is to simply take courses in stuff you normally would not do --- take courses in things that you think may attract women. The key is to get out of the Asian mind-set for these things (in that you have to excel in it and be the best)…take things like SCUBA, sailing, music, sky-diving --- you don’t have to be good at it--- just be able to talk about it for now.

3) Part of #2 is to find to what you are good at and not good at and how to use it. I suck at dancing too but I do great with some forms of singing. For example: I would go to a karaoke bar, sing a song and the girls would come to me (at least it makes it much easier to open). After giving dancing a decent try – I decided I wasn’t going to get good at it (especially if you can’t find a female partner) to go with you.

4) Take acting classes. I grew up in a family which never respected the arts. Through my early years my dad thought science was the only way to go and my mom agreed. Nobody encouraged the artistic side like acting (my mom even told me I wasn’t good looking enough to be in movies or to be a rock star).

Yet acting/drama night classes taught me a lot an watching all those movies (and using their lines) actually got me laid several times. I learned a musical instrument and now my mom told me that it was actually sexy!

5) You might want to read up on books on general social interaction too --- although it will not get you laid it does serve as part of building your bike.

One thing I noted about by dentist cousin is “How is a good looking girl going to know he is a dentist???” And even if the dentist tells her --- there are possibilities for a taller and better looking dentist near by.

It would be ironic if you end up like some other Asian doctors I know. More ironic and tragic if you end up being the kind of doctor that delivers children and takes care of kids but never being able to have a real family of your own.

Hey man,
I agree with a lot of what has already been said. Don't worry about being a "noob". You have the same problem that i had. Although you don't state it, you do care about how other people view or think about you. And to an extent, its normal. However, for you to be able to be more assertive, you will need to stop caring as much. I've told this to people before: The ONLY person that would ever feel sorry for you is YOURSELF. Nobody will feel bad for you that you didn't get the girl, or you didn't achieve what you wanted. So it is up to you to take charge, do what you want, and get yourself to the goal. You are definitely on the right path, and signing up for bootcamp is proof of that.

Regarding parents trying to instill values of "not having sex" before your married has probably made you shy. For me, i grew up with two sisters so i have always been nice to girls and respected them. This is why i had problems k-closing on my second night until Ozzie pointed this out to me. Remember, being nice to girls does not mean you shouldnt try to kiss them if you want to! An advice i can give you is to work on being assertive before bootcamp! This will help you tremendously. Also you have to realize that YOU deserve to be with a girl of YOUR choice!

Hope my thoughts help answer some of your questions/concerns!

Always be positive!

Raigon,

I gotta make my loudest protest possible against the whole arranged marriage idea. Dude.... there's hope. Trust me.

I just went out tonight and posted a FR about it. My wingman, WhoIsApollo, kicked ass. This guy definitely had his struggles during bootcamp, but tonight he made leaps and bounds, entertaining 3 women simultaneously for me while I hit on the 4th. Send him a PM if you need any additional encouragement.