Hi. I'm new to this board

I took Asian Playboy's L.A. bootcamp in Dec. 2010. I'm a desparate and lonely 43 year old socially handicapped,pathologically shy,distorted acne scarred face, growth stunted ,Asian bachelor. I am in beginners' hell. I live in a small town near Santa Cruz/Monterey bay. I've been doing alot of sets but can't get to the hookpoint. My goal is to be a mPUA.

Well if you took the Bootcamp in December it's about time you join on the boards! Also, you shouldn't talk about yourself like that. If you learned anything in the bootcamp, it really isn't going to matter what you look like once all of the pieces fall into place for you. I guess technically, it doesn't even matter what you say either, just how you say it (and we'll be saying it with a big smile I hope). Trust me on this.

Some important steps to see if you're heading in the right direction. Do you have a wingman? It seems like you'd do well with a high energy natural, because you seem like you may not bring the fun to a set when you approach, that is if you're as shy as you say you are. You don't necessarily need a wingman who's "in the game" just someone who has low approach anxiety. Do you have regular spots you like to go to? It helps if the staff at you're regular bars know you. It gives you someone to talk to and if the staff or bartender/waitress is engaging you, it will appear to others that your a fun guy who likes to have a lot of fun and that you go out a lot.

There's nothing I can say that will immediately bring you out of your beginner's hell, but I can offer you the advice of smiling more, standing tall, and approaching twice as much as you are right now. You say you approach a lot, but I've got a feeling you're probably being generous. Practice some day game as well. I'm not saying kino turn a girl at the grocery store, I'm suggesting that you engage females on a daily basis. Ask the salesgirl her opinion. Say good morning to the barista.

Keep posting on the boards. You will be amazed at how many others are having the exact same problems that you are. Don't give up. It's only called beginners hell because it's at the beginning and then you grow out of it. That growth depends on your commitment level and ability to push through those tough nights in the field.

<3 Sarah

Last Tuesday I did 10 sets at Kalu Ranch in Marina,CA. The sets ranged from 1 set to 5 set.

I used the jealous GF, Maury Povich, do you believe in spells, how long do you date before marriage, and other canned openers. I opened a few african american sets and opened by telling them that a lot of black girls are into asian guys which they found amusing. I also said she reminds me of a movie character in which they ask " what movie?" Wwhereby I just make up some character who's in love with an asian man. I could usually finish the openers but then brain freeze shortly after.

I open a 3 set on HB7-"HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL MY EYES ARE". HB 7 looks annoyed and shuts down the set. I just cant seem to get the girls to engage. My sets aren't lasting long enough for me to get into c phase.

On Thursday I went to the Blue Lagoon in Santa Cruz and did 3 sets(4 set, 4 set,and 1 set). The girls are polite and friendly but I still can't extend my set durations. The first 4 set were some tourists from London- i asked if they were from Australia and we started talking about how I think american girls are more friendly than english girls and they laughed and said english girls have higher standards. The second 4 set was opened when I asked them what was her favortite 80's group(it was 80's night) and we chatted a bit but the set closed. The last one set I showed her a list of 80's songs and if she recognized any of them.

last night I went to Mountain Charlies in Los Gatos,CA and did 7 sets mostly mixed. The first set was a 4 set of HB 4/5's-opener- quick question what do you think about long distance relationships- got the usual chit chat, she works as a manicurist, lives in same town as me,set closes. Second set was 2 set HB7's- opener- I like your glow in the dark ring and glasses-she says thanks I like them too. she then shuts me out of the set.

third set. 2 set HB3 and HB 8. I approach the HB3 and do the "do you believe in spells" opener. All goes well but I'm not into her but I want to see how far i can take the set. I get a few IOI's- she initiates conversation, asks my job, asks where I live. The HB 8 is ignoring us. I keep talking and stacking as much as possible and then eject from the set.

I do a 1 set and open with Jerry Springer opener. Set listens reluctanty so I finish the opener and fluff talk and eject.

i do another 1 set HB6- "are you buzzed yet?' We chat a bit and I tell her she looks like a bookworm. she asks what I do. I lie and tell her I'm an oral surgeon. Shortly after her BF returns.

the rest of my sets went the same.

You say that i need to smile more. Ido smile at the beginning of my opener but not during the set because it looks creepy. What do you think. BTW it was a privilege sarging with you at the Dec 2010 L.A. bootcamp.

What other activities are you doing to enhance your lifestyle and mind ?

Stop the negative talks and self-criticism. See a professional psychologist/psychiatrist IF you have long-term unhappiness and de-motivation. There was some PUA that have mild form of depression and anxiety and seeing a doctor helped them.

There are some ways to improve your appearance BUT the mental aspect is also important.

1 - hitting the gym, build an athletics look, get a tan
2 - detox, eat proper food, vitamins, fruit, lean meats, veggies, research books on acne scarred face, and find ways to reduce them, or see dermatologist
3 - new hair cut, new wardrobe
4 - skin care treatment by a beautician,
5 - other activities that makes you feel good about yourself.
6 - stand and walking with good posture




Loneliness is not something that can be changed over-night. You should have a long-term game plan on what you want to do. Are you lonely because you are single ? Or .... not socialising and mingling with people because you are used to play lots of video games ? and isolate yourself of shyness/poor people skill ?

Find something you are passionate about and get involved, maybe sports, or some social club.

Feed your mind with positive influence and stop being self-critical and over-stress or over-worrying.

I don't have any other activities. I used to go fishing,cycling,hang out with friends n family but the last 13 years were spent in solitary confinement in my dank,cramped,filthy rented room festering in frustration,hopelessness,depression, despair,celibacy,possible suicide. A few weeks ago I decided to take some steps to salvage my so called life so I started taking tea kwon do and doing sets.What other activities can I do in a small boring town in norcal?

You're doing tae kwon do. That's fucking awesome it brings in the protector of loved ones attribute into play. I do Muay Thai, and it's a great DHV. It's also great because it shows we're tough and proud of being Asian. Seriously dude, these are some pretty heavy depressive feelings that you have, and you need to work through that. I used to go through feelings like that too, and I saw professional help. The ABCs are great, and they/we can help, but thoughts of suicide is serious stuff. See a therapist, and talk through this stuff. I did it years before I did the ABCs, and it definitely helped me onto a positive path.

congratulations, you're a newbie who's approaching. If you get your head right, you will go far. If there's any one thing you can do right now to improve your results, it would be to work on your body language, vocal projection, tonality, etc. Some people discourage lines/routines but I think they're fine as long as you remember they're not necessary and are meant to supplement what you say not be the bulk of it. I like that you're staying in the sets and are trying to see how far you can push the set. It's always about constant improvement. Eventually as you get more experience, use less routines/lines and you'll see that sets are just as responsive to you as long as you maintain a good energy. This will instill in your mind that it's you who's getting the attraction, not the canned lines. This will help your self-esteem, which will probably help your swagger/body language which is 80% of what girls look for. Just keep at it but remember not to try to do too much and get burned out. Most noobs try to go balls to the wall and after a few months instead of scaling back they just stop doing it completely. Same thing with exercise, work, and any other thing most people fail to stick with.

Also, I'd recommend you move. Sounds like you don't like where you live.

Tae Kwon Do is a wonderful choice. It's said that your lifestyle begins to reflect that of those you surround yourself with. If you're spending time at the dojo, building rapport with other students and instructors who are healthy and athletic, you'll notice they might motivate you more. Great decision.

Sets are a good way too, so long as you maintain a positive outlook. No pain, no gain. Rejection is going to happen and you'll grow for the better as you endure it. Eventually progress will come.

I'd recommend reestablishing contact with the family and friends you drifted apart from. Build a strong, diverse social circle.

Another interesting thing, that some prisons have used to calm the inmates, is getting a pet. It may not be in your budget, but if you can get a pet like a dog or cat, an affectionate animal, your stress levels will decrease substantially.

Go back to trying hobbies. Explore things. Explore places. Explore venues. Find what you like and do it. None of us can tell you your hobbies or passions. You must learn them through trial & error.