Better very late than never

Hi, I'm Kode.

My rude awakening was about 7 years ago when I realised I still haven't got a girlfriend...ever. Little did I know, I was a typical Asian Lemming (you know, go to school, get good grades, get good job then the girls will come). bah! In high school, my parents told me to concentrate on my studies and get those grades, and after that, I can start dating girls. I was excited to finish high school, and when i started Uni, I was told the same again. I was like 'WTF?'. So it was head down again. (Oh BTW, I've listened to BAM's podcasts, and like him, I too got 98% in one of my subjects and mum asked where the other 2% went! ) Well, I tried it on with one girl, but she didn't see me that way. That was pretty much it during Uni. I was so clueless. The parentals only knew that education was important. So with my education and job, I spend it on what they couldn't teach me - a social education.

I had a great career. I loved my job (let's just say it's one of the top 5 that Asian parents won't defamily you for not being - you know the ones). I almost lost my virginity at 28 when a girl picked me up. I love English girls, but it was a "false start". Yes, performance anxiety. Seven years ago, I came across David D's DYD. I remember it was like seeing the Matrix. Later, somehow, I came to reading The Game and couldn't put it down. Did I try anything? no. I now realise I easily fall into the trap of being a knowledge junkie. I feel like I've read everything on the planet - David Deida, Gambler's, Thundercat, the other cat, Mystery, Vin de Carlo, Bobby Rio, XnY communication. Gotta be a doer, not a talker. I think the parentals instilled the curse of perfectionism into me. I feel that I can't do something, unless I know I can do it successfully.

I have taken a BC once with an Aussie company, it changed me greatly. My trainer helped me immensely on my journey and we became friends. I had never opened anyone in a club before, let alone groups, or asked for a number before. The fruits of the BC didn't come until about 6-12 months later when I attracted a girl unknowingly. She bacame my first lay. I was 35. (If you think you have issues at 22, think 40yr old virgin, and that might put it into perspective for you. BTW men reduce their chance of fatherhood by 7%pa after the age of 40. Yeah, we have a biological clock too plus who has the energy to raise kids when you are old) I later asked her what it was about me that attracted her to me. She said it was because I was fun (I was actually kidding around and being childish. My second partner said the same thing. This time, I was teasing and making up stuff about her.) We never progressed past casual status even though it was over 6 months.

Do I have AA? yes but I still push myself. I tell myself, I will regret not approaching, and that everytime, I do, I always came out of it with something good.
The last approach was an absolute hottie waiting at the baggage carousel. I couldn't do it. I boarded the bus and there she was. The universe was giving me a second chance. With a little hesitation, I made the approach. It was with a little nervousness, but she looked pleased to be approached. We talked the whole way (20min) and I asked for her number. She resisted, but I pushed it. She gave it but has not responded. I'll post a full FR soon. Point is, I progressed a little further and it built another brick into my confidence. Now I chat with everyone. I'll open girls on the street. Actually, I find daygame a lot less stressful.

I'll be attending the Sydney November BC to give me another boost in the journey.
I want someone to find me hot, be it a brief fling, girlfriend, or wife. Dining alone sucks. I'm fed up of being alone. I got depressed. Tried some anti-depressants, they just made drowsy all day. Couldn't really work, and was a danger to drive. I was taking micronaps. So I canned the pills. I reaslised that I didn't really have a chemical imbalance, but I do have poor attraction skills. Now, I still love my job, have a great car, pimp apartment, a plan to get financially independent, I do a ton of interesting things but I have to do it alone. This means sh*t to attraction. I've noticed women never cared about these things because they never get to asking about these things when I open them. If they did, would I be here? I find that they are really attracted to how you convey yourself. This is the cake. Your job and everything else is optional icing.
I want to be able to connect with people. I think that's why I failed with the girl above. Sometimes, I think I have Aspergers. Not a lot of feeling going on inside.
I get angry that I'm in my situation, then I tell myself to snap out of it because negative energy is repelling the women I want.

I know this is a lot intense, but I can be a lot of fun too.
So this is me. Ta-daa.

Hey man welcome to abc community. Glad your taking action instead of sitting there. Sometimes when youre sick of your sickness is when you actually do something. That's awesome that you had a great career, I am still looking for mine. Time to pimp yourself out!

Thanks Nautics.
When you don't know what to do, take a bold step forward. Apply that to your career as I do to pimping myself out. I was doing stuff I had never done before when out 2 nights ago. the sets weren't successful, but I succeeded in the openers I used.
A lot of people hate their job. Life is too short to hate your job, especially when you spend 8hrs a day doing it. I've had a near death experience to confirm that. Even if what you might like doing might be thought of as small, take that path so you can find out where it leads. If it is a dead end, at least you took the effort to find out. Good luck.