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I've been slacking on answering some of the awesome replies to my other posts. I'll get to them shortly.
But first,
My goal is to get down my approach anxiety, and social anxiety to a level in which I feel I will be able to benefit from the bootcamp.
I plan on taking a bootcamp soon, and then, go for a 12 weeks of fury. This area of my life will be handled.
It's obvious we have situations, events, people that trigger us into certain states.
I noticed for me, as I was catching a movie at the Arclight in Hollywood, when I drove down Sunset blvd, club goers were standing in line trying to get into different venues. I noticed my internal reaction to all that as I drove by. The girls all dressed up, guys in their gear, ...just the whole scene made me very nervous. Maybe it's just the whole "hollywood" area, and i have my prejudices and projections as to how those in that area are higher value... and therefore causing me to react and act in an intimidated/inferior way? I don't konw, but I know this will hinder my learning ability during bootcamp, so In the near future, I'm goign to desensitize myself, or at least, capture the beliefs that causes the anxiety by going out 3-4 nights a week, specifically going into spots that I have resisted going in for fear of...
not belonging
not being able to handle the unknown
not feeling good/worthy enough
This is odd because, at my workplace, There are a lot of club goers/bar type folks, and I am very charismatic, outgoing at work.
But I went out with a few of these folks and everything completely switched...they became charismatic, outgoing..and me, the shy, timid one.
This lets me know it's all a state of mind. Those people who work with me are no different at work, than at the clubs... but something about the club/bar or just the situation of my insecurities now being exposed just put me in a closed up state of being.
I think that's what it is though, the situational anxiety that is fed by my insecurities of what a bar/club scene can put me into..as far as expressing my desires towards women, and or just letting lose.
But I know that if I can be a certain way at work, I just have to work on those triggers that get me in the night scene...and I should be able to be the same guy during those venues. I know one thing though..the real me is the me at work where i'm not being attacked by my insecurities being exposed. When i'm just relaxed and am not in fight or flight... I'm very much chill and likeable...maybe even attractive as some have pointed out.
Anyone else get these knots in the stomach/ fight or flight feeling when seeing a line at bars or clubs?
Neolife
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