Interracial Dating Advice for Asian Men by a California Girl

The Asian Playboy · **Joined:** 08 May 2007, 19:34 **Posts:** 1968

"Interracial Dating Advice for Asian Men by a California Girl"

So a SoCal Sweetheart with an Asian sweet tooth, sent in her advice for Asian American men on the "Do Nots" of dating interracially. Read on dear fellows and thank you Lauren for helping the bros out.

Quote:

Asian guys of California!

As a white girl attending UCLA who prefers asian guys, here are the problems I have had in dating them. If you want a white girl (and contrary to popular belief, there are actually quite a few attractive ladies that prefer asians), don't do these things:

1. Be super shy and never make a move, even if the girl has flirted with you and told you she likes you (be confident!). Being shy can be cute, but if you never reciprocate the attention we will feel like you don't like us. =(

2. Hang out with only asians and don't introduce us into your social circle. -I've noticed that asians tend to self-segregate a lot, and as a white person that is very intimidating. We feel like you don't want to hang out with whites, and don't like whites, so we shy away from your social circle. If your friends are all asian, make the effort to introduce the white girl to your friends so she doesn't feel like she is intruding and unwanted because of her ethnicity.

3. Constantly talk about/make references about being "azn". - Especially at UCLA, and in the Bay Area where I'm from, I've noticed there's this "asian pride" thing that is really prevelant. It's fine to be proud of your ethnicty, but it's weird (and makes us feel uncomfortable) when you talk about it CONSTANTLY. Yes, we know you're asian. You don't need to point it out all the time. How would you feel if we constantly talked about being white? It's just awkward/annoying/makes for bad conversation.

4. Be yourself! Stop obsessing over race and just be a normal guy. Yeah, there are some racist idiot sluts out here who will discount you because of your race, but whatever. Those girls aren't worth dating anyway, and secondly, there are lots of girls who are open to dating people of all races ... I know quite a few who actually prefer asians. =)

-Lauren Anderson

Nap · **Joined:** 15 Nov 2008, 17:25 **Posts:** 19

I'm kind of new to CA, and the big environment factor that I find a bit derailing is the demographics.

White people are probably minorities in CA. When I used to live in places that resembled the national average demographics, it was actually more natural for me to hit on whomever because, well, I was in a small enough minority.
Now, each ethnic group is so numerous that it becomes segregated and people will stereotype you more readily.

For example, I was in a store when this HB customer was waiting for service and she kind of dismissed me with her eyes, the kind of reaction given to a non-English speaker. After I talked to the employee, whom I knew well, she then loosened up and actually started a conversation with me. Before coming to CA, people would assume that you did speak English... because you would've have to. Here you've communities with their own language-specific newspapers, TV channels, and shopping centers where English is neither spoken nor written on menus and signs.

Please share your experiences on dealing with this...

straycat · Posted: 16 Nov 2008, 06:55

I think you answered your own question. Talk to the girl and she will realize you can speak english.

Nap · **Joined:** 15 Nov 2008, 17:25 **Posts:** 19

Ha, guess it's just something that'll take a bit of time to get used to. I think I have to convey relatively early on that I don't hang out with Asians only. I have had a conversation go well and then end with the seeming assumption: ok, now you'll go back to your Asian social circle I'll go back to mine.

Zen · Posted: 22 Nov 2008, 15:29

nap you are coming to conclusions too soon.
She rolled her eyes at me -->> cause she probably thinks i'm a non english speaker.

god knows what these women are thinking.
Women throw out initial resistance all the time don't they?

Nap · **Joined:** 15 Nov 2008, 17:25 **Posts:** 19

You're right, she could've been just uncomfortable around strangers in general, until I showed some social proof.

don juan pan · **Joined:** 08 Mar 2009, 23:42 **Posts:** 8

so the key is be confident.

the problem is that if a guy has no confident, how can you tell him to be confidence while he does not even know how confident guy should be like???

we should list 100 things or show him a role model to be confidence.

anyways, my first girlfriend was white and i did not even speak english that time.

what i noticed is that all the white girls thinks im super cute, but none of them said i was SEXY!!

the only time they said i was sexy when i was a wrestler and had 6 packs.

now i am fat, the word sexy never heard ever again.

anyways, watch some movie with bad ass guys in there and copy their confidence.

Zen · Posted: 09 Mar 2009, 17:57

actually after you take a bootcamp you will know exactly how to be confident. you will know what to practice and when you're doing it right or wrong.

this is because you get all the instructions AND a role model.

Flex · **Joined:** 14 Jun 2009, 09:37 **Posts:** 1

As an Asian guy who has dated a few white girls (as well as like 1-2 asians) and also frequently approaches white girls all the time, just remember that YOU are the catch. Not them. They should be lucky to even be approached by a pua who will leave them smiling, laughing and them giving you their number.

Few key tips:
*Keep Eye Contact when your talking to her
*Smile when you first see her and approach RIGHT when your eyes meet.
*If your doing day game, and have a lot of AA (like your first couple of times going solo), just do newbie missions:
1. Say hi to 10 girls
2. Compliment 10 girls
3. Open 10 girls and talk for 5 mins
4. Open 10 girls and talk for 10 mins

Like just one upping yourself and this will build self confidence and it'll be easier to approach the next time and your AA will become MUCH more bearable after doing newbie missions.
*Just have fun!! Pick up should be fun and if your not having fun, find another set where you are!
*Keep a dominant and confident poise which is straight back and if your holding a drink, i usually hold it by the rim with my thumb and index finger with the remaining fingers out... (if a girl mentions it you can just say you like to hold your drinks with classy style

)

if you have anymore questions just ask!

Johnny Wolf · Posted: 03 Oct 2011, 03:33

I've dated a lot of white girls and here are some tips from my personal experience that help.

1. Get a white friend. As Lauren said, it's weird for a white girl to be comfortable if you only have asian friends and don't even introduce her into your social circle. For me, I have two white female friends that I don't hook up with, and I always try to go out with at least one white guy if I am trying to meet white girls. It's so simple but guys don't do this.

2. Don't get butt hurt about initial stereotypes, you are not here to change the world, the most you can do is change one mind at a time. It's normal for people to stereotype you, especially if you look the part. Prove them wrong.

3. Sexy vs. Cute - If you want to be sexy, work out and get fucking sexy. No girl, especially white girls are going to think your pale skinny ass, or fat ass is sexy. Look at your competition, if a typical white guy is in better shape than you, then step up your gym time.

4. Be confident - As Zen said, the easiest way to learn how to be confident is during the bootcamp, that is why it is there. You can read 100 ways to be confident online, but that seldom helps, you need to do it.

Interracial Dating Advice for Asian Men by a California Girl

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