Breaking Stereotypes vs Spitting Proper Game.

OK so I was out with a good friend and Asian Alumni and he brought up a good point.


“ I am Asian and I don't want to come of as the stereotypical asexual Asian.”


So his point was to get sexual or hit the D phase as soon as possible this way the White girl wouldn't place him in that box. He wanted to make it clear that he was a sexual guy and not the typical stereotype.

Now in theory this is a nice idea.

If you go sexual in an interaction then you must be a sexual person, right?

Well not exactly... if we break this down we can see how this is a good and bad idea. Now we have to acknowledge 2 sides.


1.The Identity Stereotype
2.The Game Aspect

Being stereotyped while approaching or interacting with a women from a different ethnic background can make it a little tough. Not only do you know have to game her but now you have to lift yourself out of the stereotype.

Now here is where the Idea can seem like a good one. Why would you make yourself work twice as hard when you can knock out the stereotype and focus on the game part. If you let her know that you are sexual then all you have to focus on is the game part. Sounds like a good plan from this angle right?

Well there is a difference between being asexual, not being non-sexual, being sexual and just plain horny.

1.Asexual: This type of persona will for sure end up in the friends zone. This type will not make his intentions clear at all at any point of any interaction. Physically this type will not escalate and might even refrain from making any type of contact. The Key point here though is he lacks any type of communication and sub communication that is Dominant! There is no Dominance in an asexual guy.

2.Not being non-sexual: This type does not come of as the typical stereotype. Also he doesn't scream sexual. He lives in between. This is an Ideal place to start an interaction or to be viewed as. This is they type that comes of confident and dominant. When he enters a typical interaction he is glad to lead. Women know that he has some experience in dealing with the situation that he has created. This type will turn into the sexual guy once he has established some type of attraction.

3.Sexual: In order to be sexual there has to be some type of attraction. You can not be a sexual person in the eyes of women if she does feel any attraction. This type make his intentions clear and physically moves the interaction forward. The guys who can go sexual very fast usually have high passive value and know how to turn on women fast.

4.Horny: This type is fast to demonstrate his sexual side. He is willing to push/Force the interaction forward with disregard to the females attraction and comfort levels. "If it feels good to you, you're doing it wrong!"



Now some key game factors to remember are:

1.The D phase is the D Phase so it comes after A,B,C for a reason. Can you bypass this? Yes but it's not very common and much more advanced.

2.Escalation with out attraction and disregard of her comfort level comes of weird to a female. Remember that it is OK to pull back also and disqualify, there is no need to constantly push it.

3.There is a difference between being asexual and not coming of as non-sexual


You see he was so focused on not being categorized as the typical asexual Asian that he forgot to look at everything that he was doing right. He got so caught up that he forgot the game aspect of it. He was pushing it so fast that everything was out of sync.


Remember the key is to have tight game so that you change her view on stereotypes(value giving), don't fall into trying to change her views on a stereotype so you can game (value taking).


If you go into a interaction and are worried about being seen as non-sexual or stereotyped then you are going in beta already. You are allowing your insecurities get the best of you, your fears are motivating your interaction and not your desire to meet the women of your dreams.The goal of spiting game isn't just to show her that you are a sexual person. Everyone should game as of there was/is no such thing as stereotypes. Take it step by step and game properly.

Definitely well said, and I feel it really speaks to me. I have to be honest, once I started realizing I was getting better reactions from girls as I got more sexual, I became more lazy with B and C. It didn't take long before those "better reactions" gave way to me coming off too cocky, too horny, and sometimes too creepy. I'm still working on better balancing and fractionating my interactions.

This brings me back to a line a friend of mine once said to me - "Any problem you have is one that someone else has had, and no problem is unique to you"

Thanks ozzie for the insight.

same here. i definitely got lazy with the C.

great post, oz.