Am infuriated by this article...

http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/SITE/data/ ... 170020.asp

[A READER'S VIEW] Stop sending babies abroad

Please stop sending Korean babies for adoption to Sweden and other countries. Why? From my point of view as an adoptee, I want to emphasize several reasons.

The first is racism and discrimination against Korean women which, as an adult woman with an East Asian appearance, I and other Asian women face on a daily basis.

From Sweden, and other Western countries, there is a flourishing sex tourism to East and Southeast Asia. Some travel agencies have specialized in these kinds of tours and the horrifying business is affecting the adoptees. We become victims of this tragic sex tourism, as we are perceived and treated as prostitutes in Swedish society.

Many Korean adopted women have been assaulted by words such as "whore, go home to your country," and some adoptees have even been attacked physically by Swedish people. The racism among Swedes toward Asians is very strong. This affects our lives and is a big burden on our sense of happiness and quality of life.

Secondly, there is racism against Korean men. The majority of Korean males are also victims of racism as most Asian adopted males in Sweden are not married. Racism in Sweden includes an unwillingness to share their lives with a spouse with a foreign appearance and Korean men suffer tremendously in not finding a wife. As Koreans they are also shorter and they have black hair and brown eyes. In Sweden the ideal is still the Swedish appearance of tall males with lots of muscles and a Swedish blond, blue-eyed appearance.

For the first time in Sweden, results of scientific research have also shown that the rate of suicide among adoptees is five times higher than among Swedes, and the adoptees are also more often treated at psychiatric clinics.

There is also racism in the labor market. According to the latest research, 50 percent of adoptees were unemployed during the past year. It is well known that immigrants from Africa and the Middle East are rejected on the labor market.

The bond between adoptees and their Swedish adoptive family seems to become more fragile and full of conflict over the years. Maybe the lack of a blood connection and our Asian appearance remind them of not having a biological child.

A lot of adoptive parents withdraw themselves from the relationship with the adopted child when they grow up, especially in those families where they already have their own biological children.

I have talked with many adoptees who have severed their contact with their adoptive family because of mistreatment and abuse. It is a great strain for them to take the decision to break up with their families. We adoptees try to support each other but that is not enough. We want Korea to stop sending more babies to the West. We do not want more Korean children to come to Western societies just to suffer as much as we have suffered and are still doing.

The only service adoption agencies in Korea provide that I think is adequate is helping adult adoptees to find their biological parents or roots. In my view, adoption agencies should, instead of sending babies to the West, help children in their own country and help single mothers provide for their existence.

I am pleased to hear that Korea is slowly changing its attitude regarding single motherhood, but I am sad and angry that adoption agencies still visit hospitals in order to persuade pregnant mothers to leave their babies for adoption.

As long as there exists strong racism in the receiving countries, where we adoptees face discrimination in our daily lives, and as long as there are no adequate resources in the recipient countries to meet adoptees' special needs, I and other adoptees want to stop international adoption altogether.

How many more suicides among adoptees will there be before Korea stops adoption to the West? The suffering we are doomed to, as lifelong outsiders and as a discriminated group in Swedish society, is larger and deeper than the suffering we would have faced growing up in Korea. The hardships would, in that case, only be there during adolescence, but as adults we would be married, living an ordinary life as good citizens helping Korea in its development.

Korea is no longer a poor country, but a highly developed and successful nation. There is no longer any economic reason for Korea to send babies to the West. Korea needs its own babies who will grow up and help the country in every area of the society. It is a loss for Korea to send its beautiful and talented babies to the West to a life of huge suffering and with a high suicide rate.

I would myself have preferred to stay in Korea instead of being adopted and doomed to a lifelong status as an outsider, becoming a lifelong object of racism and discrimination.

Many other Korean adoptees share my point of view.

By Susanne Brink

The writer studies theology in Uppsala, Sweden. Her e-mail address is susanne_brink @bredband.net- Ed.

kuang,

Dude.

Relax with the whole racism thing.

I have no idea why you are so upset with western countries and your opinion of them being racist.

Why do you have so much asian loathing upon yourself?

Why do you care so much about what other people and even countries think about asians?

If I look hard enough, I can find a thousand negative opinions about white people. Heck, just listen to comedians Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle and Paul Mooney. They are so venomous and hateful towards white people, it is beyond racism.

As for the article about Koreans (adopted and not), I wouldn't be surprised that there is some truth to it. But that is Sweden. I think you live in the United States. Thus, the tip here is...stay in the United States. People float over on a door from Cuba to have a life here. Why are you so hateful to an awesome and powerful country that was built on greatness via immigrants?

As for irony and how bullshit life can be. My girlfriend is Swedish (and yes, I am asian). Tall, blonde, blue eyes yada yada yada. She and her family and friends (all blonde and blue eyed by the way) are more than accepting of me. They all love me. Me, on the other hand...ain't too sure!

Women are women. If they like you. They like you. Ever stop to think that a girl doesn't like you is because you don't like yourself? Why would they want to be with someone like that? No, you think it is because you are asian. Well, dude, I wouldn't want to hang with losers who didn't like themselves. What makes you think a girl will want to either. I have had girls from all over the world attracted and interested in me. Not once did I ever say in my mind 'Wow. White girl. I like white girls. White girls are so hot because they are white'.

I guarantee anyone here that You will not get a hot 'white' girl because every one of you keep obsessing about 'white' girls.

Ever have someone obsess over you? Ever been stalked? Well, I have. By a 'white' girl. Yeah. Blonde. Pretty. Whatever. She decided that she couldn't live without me. So she 'thought' that by stalking me, she could somehow convince me that I needed her in my life. Long story short is that, the more she stalked me, the more she creeped me out which made it more and more revolting to even look at her. Even thinking about her makes my skin crawl.

'That' is what you guys sound like when you talk about 'white' girls. Y'all sound like stalkers.

First of all, he is ugly which would decrease the chances for him to get a swedish/french girl and secondly the girls don't like asians, to be totally honest. I did search for some threads at a swedish forum on this case and there was an asian guy asking in swedish if a swedish girl would date an asian and like 1/20 said yes, and most of the time it's a girl who is a huge anime fan or something but otherwise than that, a clear no from the other girls. I don't know about france though but I assume it's the same. Btw, the majority of the swedish girls answer was that we were not tall and had small penises. I have to agree that most asians are small but about the penises is not true, Anyway I see a lot of AF/WM here though, it seems to me a lot of WM are getting tired on the swedish females, maybe they are not that good at all. So to all asians who think they can just go to scandinavia or europe and assume that a lot of girls are going to like you, think twice


::Groan:: so the Scandinavian guys love Azn girls but Scandinavian girls are not digging Azn guys. That sucks donkeys gonads.

As far as white women go... you have to realize they are historically prized women that have been able to have their cake and eat it to. That creates a challenge for any excuse we could all come up with.

The best solution to the Asian American man’s dating dilemma (by my Expat Advisor)

A great expose by my Expat Advisor that puts the Asian American man’s dating situation in perspective and offers the best solution:

“It is no secret now that Asian men in America have problems dating. There have been several programs on TV already describing the fact that as an Asian man, you have harder time finding a mate than your Caucasian, African-American or Hispanic counterparts. There have been articles in magazines and newspapers addressing the same problem and describing its causes (and effects). Few such programs or articles, however, offer solutions to such men, and many still find themselves lonely and bitter, although sometimes pitied. However, more often than not, they simply end up lonesome and dateless.

The deal seems to be this: Many Caucasian women in the US do not find Asian American men manly enough to consider them dating material. Many Asian women also prefer Caucasian men, and the ones who prefer Asian men, are apparently not enough to go around.

The US media often portrays Asian men as dorky buffoons, skinny and freaky martial arts experts, mathematics nerds, clumsy immigrants with mangled
English of the ‘flied lice’ variety”, noodle shop cooks or laundry managers, and not as being as powerful and confident as White or African American
males, or as romantic as Hispanic men. Plus, throughout the history of the US, Asian countries were enemies whose males were to be killed on the
battlefield, and whose women were to be taken home to mom as war brides after their men lie dead in the jungle or at the bottom of the sea.

In other cases, Asian countries were often suppliers of poor workers or indigent immigrants of all kinds to provide cheap labors in developed, most often
Caucasian countries. Also, in the past, Asian Americans, period, were victims of serious discrimination coming from the government, a practice
which has since been abolished but whose residues still haunt Asian men even today as they are not seen as fully American by the US society. None of the above has helped to create an image of a virile and dependable Asian male, a potentially desirable mate for American women to date and marry.

With the great improvements in Civil Rights, and the general feeling of guilt coming from mainstream population groups (whoever they may be) the situation
of the Asian minority has improved significantly, for sure. The pejorative word “Oriental” has been stricken down from printed materials and is avoided in daily speech. The proud term “Asian American” has been born. Asian men are in the government and politics, they run successful businesses, they are achievers in the field of science and technology, law and medicine. However, as far as American women of all colors seeing an Asian American man as a preferred dating and marriage partner goes, the state of affairs still leaves a lot to be desired. In short, if you are an Asian man in America, citizen or not, native-born or not, fluent in English or not, rich or poor, you will have problems dating ladies there.

Those Asian men, who feel that they are being discriminated against on the US love market, resort to several ways of dealing with the problem:

1) Ignoring it and playing the numbers game. If one goes through enough dating ads, attends enough parties and invites enough women out, there will be a number of women who will want to date, and possibly have a serious relationship with you. The men who go down the path of copious dating and selection will disregard any flak that comes their way in the process, and come out winners in the end. That is a good strategy except that it is not very likely that one could end up with a high quality female partner in the end if one stops his search too early. If one still continues dating, ignores numerous rejections, and sieves through any unreliable partners that appear in the process, one will end up with a prize- a good and honest woman to be one’s companion in life. But boy, it is going to take a really long time, believe me!

It is a rather daunting course of action, and is not suitable for every Asian man, especially not for those who come from a background that emphasizes
modesty and non-aggressiveness.

2) Developing a complex and hatred of American men of other races, particularly those of the Caucasian race, and writing articles and posts on the Internet newsgroups and bulletin boards complaining about lack of dates and the prejudice against Asian American men. Interviews with commiserating media and videos on youtube.com also become a vent for the frustrations of such men. The hope is that the US society will change and they will suddenly become accepted and welcomed as romantic companions and more. This approach, while a good therapy for one’s psychological state, is still not very effective in procuring potential dates any time in the near future. In the end, one is either angry and militaristically racist, and supported only
by other frustrated Asian men, or one is felt sorry for. In both cases, one still often remains dateless.

3) Bringing a female partner from the Old Country. For some reason, this approach is seen as un-cool by a big number of Asian American men. They see it as a step back, and feel that a woman from the Old Country will become a burden on the already Americanized husband, what with her old-fashioned customs and behavior which will interfere with the further acceptance of the couple and their children into the American society. Only very traditional, mature in age, or religious Asian men seem to opt for that route; not the majority of the Asian male population of the country.

4) Finally, there has recently been a trend among US citizens of Asian extraction to date internationally. One can call this trend Romantic
Multi-Nationalization. What happens is that after having discovered the US love market to be of unsatisfactory performance in the area of providing
them with dating opportunities, such men have decided to cross oceans and date in other countries. They have finally had the courage to claim a very important truth: It is not their fault that the US society has such stereotypes of them. It is not their fault that Hollywood often portrays them as emasculated persons who are not worthy of being admired by the opposite sex. It is really the fault of the modern (and past) US culture and the media which reflects it. Also, since the Hollywood culture has infused its stereotypes into many other countries making things harder for Asian men all over the English-speaking
world, one needs to find a culture in which such stereotypes have not yet spoiled things for Asian men.

The trend of Asian Americans traveling to other nations in search of romantic opportunities is growing as they are now discovering huge areas on Earth where they are seen for what most of them truly are: diligent, intelligent, honest and dependable Americans with excellent work and business ethics, a great deal of talent, gentleman-ness, decency and a sense of responsibility that should make any female proud.

Also, in many countries the stereotypes of Asian men are very positive to begin with. They are seen as smart, sexy, brave, adventurous and as excellent
providers, too. They are not viewed as poor immigrants running noodle shops, but as progressive and confident modern Alfa-males. Yes, it is true. Go
to such places and see for yourself.

International dating also allows an Asian man to finally meet numerous Caucasian women who look like Hollywood actresses, and who will be happy to be
involved with the man romantically and look up to him

If you are an Asian American man, I would urge you to explore this past option. However, you will need to know where to go. The world is a big place and it would make little sense to leave the US and go to, say, England or Australia. Or China for that matter- what with its huge surplus of men. It would not be
easy for you to compete with an army of several million bachelors scouting the Chinese countryside in search of brides.

The best places for Asian men are probably the following:

Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, Cambodia and even Malaysia. Going there will allow such men to discover their true potential as respected and dignified dating and marriage partners. Asian guys coming from the US are highly sought after as husbands and lovers (even more so than Caucasian guys), and, upon arriving in those places, they will enjoy high status and be treated extremely well by the local female population.

In Europe, it seems that the countries whose ethnicities have had a high admixture of Asian “blood” (Tat-C chromosome) through past Asian migrations
there, welcome Asian men in ways that the US (or British, Australian, Canadian and any other society founded by British settlers) never has. Large areas in Eastern Europe, in particular, the Baltic countries of Estonia and Lithuania (currently EU members), have shown to be very accepting and friendly to American Asian males, and is a place where a growing number of such travelers have been able to find incredible opportunities for social life and romance. Many Asian men’s previously almost unattainable dream of finding a “gorgeous blond and blue-eyed girlfriend”, has came true with ease as soon as they started dating in those countries.

Belarus is another country where Asian men, even those who are not American, have been able to feel accepted, and where they have enjoyed good treatment and many new possibilities for abundant “romancing”.

Parts of Russia and other CIS countries (outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg) have also been described as very good for such Asian men although the growing Fascist element in the country is making it more and more dangerous for foreigners by the year. Still, if one knows his way around these places, one will do very well there and be able to avoid trouble in the process.

Parts of Brazil, according to some sources, have proven to be excellent, and some Asian men have been able to mingle freely with the local population and
date beautiful women there.

France is another country in which Asian men (those who can speak French- a necessity there) have reported that they have been treated quite well by the local females. They were finally able to date as normal human beings should, and, quite possibly, get married as normal human beings should. Upon arrival in the US, however, they would more often than not again face ostracism from the majority of the US women.

Yes, this ostracism seems to be a sad reality for many an Asian man in the “Anglo Saxon” world, and it is high time for decisive steps be taken to solve that
insidious problem. Waiting around until the attitudes and stereotypes of the American society change for the better (which may take decades) does not seem to be an effective technique of solving it. Hence, such love travel appears to be a surgically efficient way of dealing with it.

So, maybe it is time to do some research, save up some money and buy that ticket. You will be able to solve the dateless-ness and gloom that many Asian guys face in America by living in more than one country. Unless you look like the Hunchback of Notredame or are the Elephant Man, the success is virtually guaranteed because quite a few Asian men are already doing the same and are reporting excellent results.

It may not be an easy path to take, but the rewards will be tremendous. You may have to learn new languages, new rules and customs, and whole new ways of life. However, your own life will be rewarding beyond your wildest dreams. The only very important condition that you need to fulfill is to be able to support yourself while on the go, which is becoming more and more possible with the help of the Internet and the general globalization of the business environment. Becoming a computer programmer online, running a money-making website, living off rents, and doing similar things whereby you are able to create a cash flow from anywhere in the world, will liberate you from having to be located in the US all the time and depending on the unfriendly (to you) US (or the UK, Australian, etc.) love market.

Life in many countries of the world is now very similar to life in the US. The rest of the world is now becoming developed and very similar to America in
terms of the variety of products, services and business opportunities. You may even, one day, wish to open a business in one of those countries. One only
need to dare to leave one’s 9-5 job in the US as one’s romantic future does not seem to bode well for one who dates there. Also, it would be better if one started out as young as possible lest one end up a frustrated middle-aged man who has missed his chance.

So, if you are an Asian American man (or a citizen of any other immigrant nation such as Australia, Canada, NZ, or even the UK), and you feel that life and love are passing you by, do not become despondent. Internationalize yourself! You will soon be living a life that you truly deserve to live.”

Anyone ever actually been to Ukraine though?

Could the grass really be so much greener than here?