Joined: 28 Apr 2012, 19:16 Posts: 5 Location: Toronto
Bootcamp Graduate: No
Location: Maddison House (Maddy)
Asian HB9 and HB8. HB8 was being picked up by another dude, leaving HB9 kind of standing there. I swooped in and started talking, grabbed her attention with a few jokes and openers. Played a name game with her and got her to sit down with her friend (who blew off the other guy). Two chicks are with my buddy and I. My friend is working the HB8, I'm very attracted to HB9 and sit closer to her. We talk more, grab a drink, and return to our seats. She isn't being that receptive so I start talking to the HB8 who is much more talkative. I am taking playful jabs at HB9 as I talk to HB8. HB9 is playfully punching me, there is other contact, etc. All seems well, everyone is having a good time. I start focusing my attention on HB8, ignoring HB9 at this point, which seems to be working. I build some value and return to HB9, we talk so more, we are kino-ing, she is telling me she lives nearby, all seems really good. I ask her if she'd like to go outside with me because it's easier to talk. She asks her friend who is telling her to go, as another guy is talking to her by this point. HB9 suddenly ignores me completely, and starts talking to the other guy hitting on HB8, leaving me standing there for a solid minute. I talk with the other guy, give him props on what he's studying, he seems cool, but HB9 completely ignores me at this point. I simply leave and don't see her again that night.
What happened? Was she doing this to play me cold for a bit? Should I have stayed in there for longer? I really regret it, because she was gorgeous, and really nice. Suggestions for next time would be great.
Post subject: Re: In need of tips for this report
Posted: 04 May 2012, 13:53
Joined: 02 Jan 2010, 02:53 Posts: 264 Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Bootcamp Graduate: YES (BC: San Francisco, CA July 2010)
You lost her because you showed a lack of dominance, assertiveness, and was seeking her approval.
The first mistake was you asking her to go outside with you and putting your hopes on her saying yes. A true man will not necessarily ask, but tell her. Example, "Hey, I need some fresh air. Let's go outside!"
Second, when you say something to a woman, make sure to sound sure of yourself. Women respond to a man so says something with confidence and assurance. It's a dominance and submissive thing. Men are naturally meant to be domaninant and women are naturally submissive.
Lastly, you were seeking her approval by hoping she would be okay with going outside with you. Now, there is a difference between being too aggressive and forcing a woman against her will, and a gentleman who will do what he wants, when he wants. Be the latter. Tell her you are going to go outside and would love for her to join you. If she says yes, the great! If she says no, oh well. She's missing out. My point is, don't care about what her answer is. It sounds counter productive but if you make it an effort to come off as a man who doesn't care, she will be drawn to you more.
_________________ Mike Smooth Certified Coach ABCs of Attraction
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