The problem with society is that guys are often rewarded for being an asshole. When guys do the “right thing” and be nice, polite and funny, they often get used. The reason for this is because you are safe and fun to hang out with. Girls treat you almost like a gay best friend.
Personally, I don’t fucking want to be the gay best friend, EVER. So I act like a bit of an asshole. Just enough to let girls know that I’m not the type of guy they can use. However, being a dick gets in the way of genuine friendships and relationships.
FR: Getting Used…Kinda.
A few days ago I met two beautiful girls from Holland at my Muay Thai class and arranged to hang out with them later that night. We went out, the two girls, myself, and the boyfriend of one of the girls and had a good time. However, the guy had to go home early because he had a kid and needed to put him to bed. Before he left, he asked me to watch out for the girls and I agreed.
As the night got later and the more drunk and aggressive random dudes got, the girls came up to me more and more for protection. It was kind of fun at first, but after a while it just got annoying. Seeing every single possible pick up attempt fail, made me kind of sad. We went to get drinks and since they paid for the first round, I tried to pick up the tab for the second…but the brunette with the boyfriend wouldn’t have it and insisted on paying for me all night.
So there I was with two of the hottest girls in the club, getting free drinks and having a genuinely good time dancing with them, AMOGing dudes that tried to come in, and getting attention from other girls. But then out of no where, the lights came on and the club was closing. Did I just waste my whole fucking night helping these two girls safe from other dudes? I don’t know if it was because I was a bit drunk from all the drinks, or if I felt entitled to have hooked up with the single girl of the group, but I was genuinely pissed and angry. The single girl took off, and the one with the boyfriend gave me a hug and told me that she had tried to convince her friend that she should have at least made out with me for being so nice all night.
“Being nice all night” – doing everything right, and still not hooking up. That’s what pissed me off. I felt used. Like the gay best friend. I should have ditched them and used their social proof to get another girl.
But then I slept on it and woke up feeling completely different, seeing the other side to the story. What really happened? I went out with two beautiful girls, had a great time dancing and they bought me drinks all night. This would normally be a good night out, for any guy. But the keyword that some of you may missed up there was “entitled” and I think this is what messes a lot of PUAs up. We think that we should hook up every time we go out to a club or hang out with a girl and get pissed off when it doesn’t happen. I’m used to at least making out with a few girls every time I go out and pulling one night stands on the regular but is that normal? Is that even healthy?
Well here’s the secret behind it all. The trick to being successful and happy with women is to first, learn pick up so you can do it. Then shutting it off and stop feeling like you have to pick up every time you go out. But whatever you do don’t be that AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) that gets used by women. I’m glad as hell that the worse night out for me involves two beautiful Dutch girls and free drinks all night, and not standing around afraid to approach girls.
If that is still you, afraid to approach women, wasting money buying THEM drinks, suck it up and take a bootcamp, it’s far cheaper in the long run than getting used by girls.
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