FR: My funny Sunday

I met one of my bootycalls yesterday that I haven't talked to in AGES. Her name is Kate, she's a petite little blond that I day gamed at Target a while ago. We've been friends with benefits for a long time, and we've had the strangest adventures...

While we were eating lunch yesterday, she asked me if I remembered our last encounter. I remember when she came out to Vegas to bang me back in January and left her white lace panties on the floor in my hotel room, scaring me half to death as I thought I had slept with a prospective investor for my own company... Not cool. That is a story for another time -

"Ben, not the Vegas trip, the time you thought I tried to kill you with rotten food!"

Again, I had no recollection whatsoever of the situation.


Katie enlightened me of the situation:

It was sometime in March. I had just gotten out of the office and was busy with something. Katie calls me up and we head off to some shit bar in Universal City and I get shit wasted (I remember the credit card bill now... Oh god). We're both completely slammed off of who knows what (my bar tab on the bill was over $120...) and somehow we made it home.

My memory starts to return to me, as I remember going to Universal City, and getting slammed, but no recollection of what happened afterwards. All I remember is waking up the next morning by myself with my kitchen an absolute wreck, ranch, ketchup, and rotten food strewn all over the floor with an egg shell cracked on the wall, bedsheets riddled with nasty stains... But to Kate, there's MORE to the story.

When we get home, schmammered out of our minds, we do that thing grown ups to when they get really really drunk and are in a dark room with lots of grunting. Katie says that she remembers getting up in the middle of the night to get some water and ended up trying to make eggs on the stove.

According to Katie:
Ben: Why is the stove on?
Kate: I want eggs
Ben: I don't want to get you pregnant
Kate: I WANT FOOD. There's some rotten take out in the fridge
Ben: DAMMIT WOMAN ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME!?
Kate: *throws egg at me* - *BEN DODGES THE EGG* YES

Katie says she took a cab home and there was some sort of struggle with food being strewn upon the floor, and us having sex again.

Kate: I took a shower, then left. We were too wasted to be in any sort of embrace. I hope you learned some lessons from this.
Ben: Wait, what lessons?
Kate: Don't interrupt a woman when she's drunken cooking.

This does explain why my sheets and kitchen were fucked up that morning, but I don't know how much of this is true. I have no recollection of this ever happening. Although, it is a funny story.

Moral of the story: Don't interrupt a woman while she's drunken cooking
-OR-
Don't drink yourself silly.