FR 10 Two Kiss Closes in one night

So I had a bit of a breakthrough last night. I was actually not feeling like going out but pushed ahead. What I did do well was get myself in state. I cleaned my apartment, listenend to Salsa music and danced like and idiot in my apartment before going out. I meet up with an ABC classmate, Steve, and we warm up with a two set. It goes well and we're feeling good.

Blonde Girl from Hawaii
After we leave the two-set, I see a five-set. We position nearby but don't hover. We decide to walk past the group. I make eye contact with a cute blonde girl and give a big smile and open with a simple:

Attract

Me: Hey, you having a good night.
She turns to face me. Sees my smile and smiles back.
HB: Great, fantastic. What are you guys doing?
Me: We're celebrating Saturday. What about you?
HB: I'm visiting from Hawaii...

Banter
We're off into conversation on Hawaii. I make sure to banter with her. Whenever I catch myself wanting to ask a question, I just change it to assumptive statements. She's embarrased that she is drinking a beer out of a can. I get playful with her on it. She's hooked and the group moves to a different part of the bar and she stays with me. I get her number in case the group leaves. She leaves to go to the bathroom. She comes back and I compliance test her. "Let's go to the bar. Let's get you a drink not in a can."

She smiles. I grab her hand and we are off to the bar. Test 1. I tell her I'm getting her a blood orange Cosmo. She jokes its perfect because she really is a vampire. We joke and banter about that for a good bit. The bar is now thick with people and guys surround us. I want to isolate upstairs to avoid being AMOGED and to try to kiss close. I try to elephant trunk her and realize in the two seconds I have my back to her, guys are amogging me. Shit. An Aussie tries to open her. She starts to comment on his opener. She's pretty drunk as she is easily distracted. I'm deciding if I should Befriend the amog or be more dominant and just ignore. I ignore, motion to her to come over and mouth the words COME OVER HERE. She complies. Test 2.

I then tell her lets go to the upstairs lounge. I can see she's a little hesitant. I tell her:"you can easily still see your friends from upstairs." she complies. Test 3.

Comfort

Luck is on my side as there is a table in the corner open. We take it. She asks me what it was like growing up in Tennessee. I tell her there is nothing to do. We do exchanging of typical day in our lives stories. I interrupt her and tell her I think she is super cute. She smiles and blushes. It's loud in the bar and she leans in to talk in my ear. I use the Richard La Ruina aka the Gambler non-verbal escalation. Basically I make sure to make eye contact as she talks into my ear. I gradually move in close to her like I'm going to kiss her when I talk in her ear. I never break eye contact. I slow down my speech. When I go in for the kiss it's natural and I know she won't pull back. Success! Her lips taste of blood orange. I'm over the moon.

We chat some more kiss some more. It's not full on making out, but there is a little tongue action. She says she needs to move to SF now and that she likes me. She asks me how old I am. I tell her to guess (me 44). She guesses 28 then 31. I tell her she is close. I ask her her age and she is 23. She pushes to know my age. I say I'll tell her after the next drink. I think she reads my energy shift on the age thing. Damn women are perceptive, even drunk.

HB: Did I make things awkward with the age thing?
Me: No but you can make it up to me with a kiss.
More smooching.

She's been with me now for a good 35-40 minutes and she wants to check on her friends. I tell her no problem and that I'll be here at the lounge for her return. I don't want to seem needy. After 10 minutes She doesn't come back, I figure they have bounced. I go down stairs and she is talking with other dudes. I amog the dude and greet her and tell her I have to go and find my friend. She tells me to call her and that she will be in SF all summer. I give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I believe there will be a Day 2.

The good: energy and banter were solid. I did compliance tests and the worked like a charm.
The bad: I think I kissed her too much. Didn't leave her wanting more. Also the age question screwed my state. Any advice for a soon to be 45 year old that looks 30 on how to address this?

Brunette at Karaoke
So I'm flying high from my kiss close. I'm not ready to go home. I want to sing and go to my local karaoke bar. I walk in and see a pretty brunette that I know is a regular sitting at the bar. I had chatted with her a year before at this same bar. This was before I had any skills. I remembered losing her attention and that she ended up making out with some other dude back then.

Approach
I reopen her like I know her and pull back stuff from that previous talk. Luckily I'm not drunk. She however is drunk.

Buying temp
My banter is good and we comment on the singing. She says I need to put in a song soon. I tell her we are doing a duet. I buy me and her a drink and tease her that she already has me drinking her drink and we aren't dating yet. A seat next to her opens and she asks me to sit with her.

Comfort/ Direct interest
We talk about her work. She shares her dream to be on a Broadway musical. I reciprocate. I escalate non verbally like the first kiss close. She actually grabs my hand and smiles. It's on. I move in for the kiss. Success. The kisses are light pecks on the lips. I tell her how cute she is. She is beaming and smiling when we pull away from our kisses. I get her number and we put in a song to sing together.

The DJ calls us up and puts the wrong version of the song. We sing briefly but the version sucks. The DJ cuts us off and she is pissed. I try not to change her mind but change her mood. It works we talk about what we are doing next day. More light kisses.

Extract
Its close to last call. I'm not too into her and figure I'll push to extract. I find out that she likes wine. The extraction excuse is I have an amazing bottle of wine that she must try. She ponders it for a good moment. I know she knows what I'm asking. She politely declines. As the start closing the bar, I offer to walk her home. She says she's okay. Then I chat a little longer and tell her good bye. We hug and another Kiss on the cheek.

The good: My banter game has vastly improved. All my hard work is starting to pay off. Also, Non-verbal escalation is great.
The bad: I again kissed her too much. I need to leave her wanting more. I realize this now. In th moment it was all new to me and I just wanted to keep kissing. Live and learn. I'm hopefully reaching a new level. Whoo Hoo!

Great post bro! Keep up the good work

44 year old that looks 30... Sounds like an Asian problem.

I also like the energy level you're projecting, it seems really chill from the reader's point of view. Gambler's nonverbal escalation seems pretty gold...

Anyways, what you were really wondering was to fix the "kissing too much"
Well, I believe that you could have her work for the kiss rather than giving it to her so easily.

Like when you're escalating, whisper to her that she's doing a pretty good job seducing you and that you want to kiss her, but say that you want to see her again and don't want to mess that up.

That'll make her a) respect you for not being so needy. b) assume that you have 100% of the power in making sexual decisions. c) horny.

Dude, super happy for you! Congrats on getting kisses! I remember the first time I started getting consistent kiss closes and make outs. It's a really powerful feeling when you know you can dominate a venue, pick a girl from the menu, and completely wreck the place. Love it!

Now I know you're new to kissing girls, but where 90% of guys think "Yay! A Kiss! Horay!" That's merely where the rubber hits the road. You start getting some resistances and crazy weird crap, etc... Just because you're kissing her doesn't mean you'll be taking her home However, good job on pushing to extract with that last girl.

I like to compare extracting to getting numbers. Tell her, don't ask.
YOU SAY: "Would you like to come back with me for some wine?"
SHE HEARS: "Would you like to come back with me for some wine and sex?"

You need to COMMAND PRESENCE. You upsell and lead, she follows.
YOU SAY: "I've got the most delicious dessert wine chilling in my fridge at the moment. I just had dessert here, but I've got a hell of a sweet tooth. Come join me.
SHE HEARS: "I've got the most delicious dessert wine chilling in my fridge at the moment. I really like you a lot and I'm a super confident hot guy who will take you home tonight."


While I was doing a bootcamp with JT and Sarah, we had a high quality problem of running out of room on these benches we were sitting at. I had a student with a girl coming in. I immediately leaned towards the group and said, "Everyone needs to schooch over right to make more room. SCHOOCH!"

Without skipping a beat, everyone moved, my student sat down with his girl, and everything was merry.

Same thing with Gareth this weekend in NYC - We also had the high quality problem of too many girls. Gareth did basically the same thing I did at LA. Both times I've heard girls say,

"Wow, that guys is REALLY commanding!" and she said it in a good way (her voice got low and gave me/Gareth bedroom eyes, awww yeah!)



With Kissing - this is an easy rule and easy tip - always stop first. This will drive your girl crazy. What guy STOPS kissing a hot girl? I've been able to drive girls crazy with this, to the point where one girl almost ripped my hair out, pulling her face to mine with more force than a Oreck Vacuum Cleaner (it can lift up a bowling ball!)

Hope this helps out -

Ben J

Hey haven't been on this forum for a while, so take this with a grain of salt.

remember the bootcamp and how JT taught us how to pass shit tests? in essence, i think the "age" topic will always be your shit test. why? because it affects your state and your cool the most. to pass shit tests, remember its:

1. Agree
2. Misinterpret
3. Reframing

I think in this case, the best is to agree, or what I like to call being honest. I guess it's kind of like reframing too. don't know.

example
1. her: what's you age?
you: guess.
her: idk 28, 30?
you: I'm 44, much too old for you (wink* and smile)

or

I'm almost 45, but i'm happy I look only 30.

and then no matter how you feel after you say this, go "zen." empty your mind and don't feel insecure about your age. after a few seconds, change the topic. and keep the original goal you had in mind, make her your lover. take her home and make crazy love to her and show her how much more experienced a 44 year old man is compared to the 22 year olds she's used to.

see yourself as James Bond...James Bond is always around that age, 40+. it's sexy, it's mature, it shows you have experience, automatic passive value. and you can always call her "kid" like casablanca.... "here's looking at you kid", you can play the daddy figure and tease her about being past her bedtime. Women like older men.