A Newbie's Story: F.R. #5: Direct and Number Close! =D

So today, I grew a pair of balls and decided to do my first ever attempt at going direct. Was I nervous? Hell yes. Was I doubtful of what the response might be? Most definitely! Did I regret it? Absolutely not, because today, I got my first official number close from a girl I've never met on the bus and I'm absolutely ecstatic. So going through this field report, while I am going to brag, I will also attempt to review what I could've done better so that next time will go even more smoothly than the last. But what I can be certain is - approaching girls is not so hard for me anymore!

Background: I got 4 hours of sleep last night because we have our first injection technique session today and we were going through Intramuscular, Intravenous, Intradermal, and Subcutaneous injections. I wasn't really planning on approaching today because I was tired as fuck. However, after the fiasco from yesterday where I saw a pretty attractive blonde girl that I could've approached but didn't (it was supposed to have been my first direct, but I chickened out at the last second), I was determined to approach no matter what and make up for what I didn't do yesterday. And then when I was heading home and got on the bus, I saw a really beautiful, dark haired white girl sitting on the bus and listening to music. Perhaps it was because of the angle I saw her from, but she was the cutest girl I've ever seen. She was HB8-9 (can't decide... so I'll average it to HB8.5) and had the loveliest smile. So you can understand that my AA was at an all time high. She was even more attractive than the blonde girl from yesterday.

It took about 1 minute for me to muster up my courage. Plus there was a guy sitting behind her and I wasn't sure if he was her boyfriend. But then because he didn't talk to her or say anything, I realized he was completely unrelated to her. I should remind myself to approach faster next time, always within 3 seconds, don't think about it - just do it.

So I switched seats from across her to the seat in front of her and pretended to look out the window (that wasn't a tactic, that was procrastination, but yes, I did wanted an excuse to switch seats).

And then I told myself it's now or never. I steered in and went for the kamikaze like there's no tomorrow.

Phase A

I turned around and said to her, "Hi, excuse me. I know this is random, but I just saw you and I think you're very beautiful."

HB8.5: "Aww, thank you."

"I just had to come by and talk to you. Otherwise I would've been upset at myself all day. Hi, I'm Edwin."

"I'm Sarah, nice to meet you."

Naturally I was appalled at how much she loved that comment. Even after reading all the positive comments and feedback on the forums, I still had my doubts about direct. Today I'm kneeling at its feet to kiss its hem. Thank you direct!

Phase B and C

Now, I know I can't banter for life because I don't even know what bantering is. BUT I can be funny. I can tell stories. And I can get her attention. I started out wrong, though, because I was totally expecting, "I have a bf" or something along those lines. She didn't say anything like that, and it threw my game off because I was prepared to brace myself.

So I jumped into some comfort questions before regaining myself.

"You're not from around here are you?"

"Haha, yeah I'm not, how can you tell?"

"You have an accent. Are you an immigrant?" And she smiled and giggled. It was a feeble attempt at banter, but it did give me a chance to poke a bit at my Asian side.

"Where are you originally from."

"I'm from England."

"What're you doing here in Australia then?"

"I'm here to study. I'm doing my arts degree here." (I would've tried saying she must be a nurse and used Jester's "I'm a nurse, too, but only for halloween" line. That would've been awesome)

And it was then that it struck me to tell her that I love art, too. I told her about loving to draw and even posting some of my sketches online and it was on deviantart. I showed her some of my drawings from my phone and she was amazed. And turned out she had a deviantart account, too. And it was there that I hit gold, I found out she was an anime fan (it was a good sign, because my 2nd girlfriend was a huge anime fan, too). So I teased her a bit about her hair being dyed a bit red at the end to imitate an anime character and she said it was for cosplay. She loves Naruto. She showed me a drawing of fan art and some of the characters she created and one of them was nude. I poked fun at her and kino'ed her with my shoulder, asked if she was implying something. She giggled and said, "Maybe." Alarm bells ran off in my head to push this set as far as possible.

I asked her where she was headed so I could gauge if she'll get off the bus before or after me and give me a rough estimate of how much time I have with her. She is heading to the city, which is lucky, because my home is halfway between the hospital and the city. She has a long way to go.

I decided I really needed to banter or else I'll risk sliding into the friend zone, which happened way too often. I did the "I love you text" story, but she took it too seriously whereas it was supposed to have made her laugh and she said he probably shouldn't be too worried. Perhaps I told it wrong. Anyways, epic fail.

I told her my skating story and while telling her story, I noticed she was smiling, her eyes were glued to me, and she was opening her body entirely towards me. It was an awkward and yet amazing feeling - she was interested in me.

Then I decided to go for the number close. But I went inventive with it. I told her that my friend is looking for a new phone and I'm wondering if I could have a look at hers. She gave it to me. I continued talking while I flicked through the phone and entered my contact details. I entered "Hot Asian Guy" with my number and then said to her, "Here you go. You're welcome."

She looked confused until she saw "Hot Asian Guy" and she laughed.

I told her to save it but she beat me to it, showing the screen to me while pressing the save button to let me know she saved it to her contacts. I told her that I wasn't sure if my phone wasn't working because it hasn't been receptive lately, to see if she could give me a call to see if my phone is still working or my mobile provider secretly cut me off. She gave me a ring, to which I picked up and answered playfully, "Hey hot stuff, what're you doing this Friday?" and it earned several giggles.

I showed her a few more of my deviantart works and then told her about the story I'm working on, and happens that she's creating some work for comics and I said she could add me to her watch list, "Because I could tell you really want to stalk me."

I asked her to scoot over and I sat next to her and continued chatting.

We chatted a bit more and she said she worked at a petrol station, where I leaned in and smelled her (just like J.T. did in that mehow infield video) and said she was lying. She smelled of flowers, of summer, of a beautiful maiden with sunshine in her hair and a smile so radiant the sun would forever set in shame of being shadowed by how bright her smile shines. I asked if it was her that Christopher Malowe quoted, not Helen of Troy, about the women with the face that launched a thousand ships. I really worked romance into this and I even placed my hand on her cheek to look at her eyes and see if I could see how deep I could gaze into the two windows to her soul. I worked my greatest strength really well - romance. It's the one thing I'm most proud of.

And then I reached my stop and I had to get off. So I told her I have to go, but I'll probably give her a call later this week. She says "Sounds good." And we made our goodbyes (where I probably should've done something like take her hand and kiss it. Or said something romantic like "The next few days will seem an eternity, but you must not wait for me to dwindle and wither away your youth, for know that I will definitely go through hell and high water to see you. For not even a thousand storms will not be able to stop me from seeing you again, if only to steal another glimpse of your beautiful face.")

But too much romance could creep out a girl, so I'll keep it to myself.

What I did well:
I'm getting better at story telling and I'm definitely getting better at approaching. I did my first ever direct approach and was really proud of it. Plus I found out how much I didn't have anything to hide and went straight to the point instead of beating around the bush a lot like I did with indirect. J.T., you're amazing for coming up with this. Most amazing of all is that she showed interested in me and got my first ever number close. Hurray! I am improving at a steady rate and I'm gaining more and more confidence in my own abilities. Plus, I found one of the few girls who seemed genuinely interested in Asians.

What I should improve on:
-Take less time to approach. Don't think about "what if" or "what may happen". In fact, don't think. Just do it.
-Start with banter before you make your way into comfort. While she did show a lot of signs of interest, I'm sort of worried that I spent too much time in comfort and even began with comfort and not enough banter that I may be shunted into the friends zone
-Learn how to banter, Lesson 1
-More body language and better projection of it. This is probably a bit more advanced, but I'm not very good at body language or positioning. Something I will definitely need to learn at bootcamp.
-More improv and humor
-Continue to practice with conversations and basic communication skills

Well, I did pretty well this time and I'm sure I'll do even better. All feedback is appreciated to help me improve!

P.S. Now... I'm not sure what to do. This is where I really wished I had some of Gareth's text-game I could use to potentially hook her out to get us started on our first date. Any suggestions?

good that you had great first direct game set, here my advice which you probably dont wanna hear. I will say it only one time, it's up to you how much you trust the answers:

1. Dont overGAME in daygame. You need much less Bantering and less ENERGY than in night game. The main factor of daygame conversation is she getting to know you and you finding similarities between each other. The best part of your set was the interest in art, which you share. There is no need for I LOVE YOU stories or similar. Tell about your life, give her a chance to get to know you by telling her things which you like/ what you do. Slow down talking, no need to be nervous, talk to her like you know her from a previous life.

2. Cut down on the romance thing. It is your biggest strength because you are the most comfortable in it. But guess what, that also leads to you going way over the top with it. Even if you intentionally cut it down, you will still have more than enough ROMANCE in your conversations and interactions. Better look to put in some parts where you are lacking, e.g. good eye contact, stating direct interest in a girl while being confident and not ashamed to say it, believing that you are the best guy for her, Kino and being in charge during Day 2 etc.... Dont indulge in your biggest strength but look for other parts of game where you are lacking. Show her that you are a complete package, not a softie who has watched too often Titanic or Sleepless in Seattle.

3. Dont get too high after a good set, dont get too low after a bad set. Dont put too much importance on one set/date/number etc... Just because you got a NC, doesnt mean you are a super sexy guy. Just because you got rejected, doesnt mean you are a shitty idiot.

4. Work at imporving yourself! First continue to improve as a man, go to a GYM regularly and become a more fit and attractive guy. You still suffer from lack of confidence because you are an Asian guy. Get yourself in shape and improve as a man, so you dont see yourself as JUST ANOTHER UNATTRACTIVE ASIAN guy, but rather like JUST ANOTHER BUFF and ATTRACTIVE man. If you are looking good, it really doesnt matter if you are Asian. They will first see an attractive man and dont define you by origin.

5. Please read Point 4 again and do it!!!!!

That's all I have to say, I wish you good luck and hope you exercise in future to gain confidence in your attractiveness as a human being.

Hey Picks, thanks again for the response. Your feedback is appreciated, as always. And the best advice is advice you don't like to hear or you're not aware of. You really know if the person is trying to help if they're telling you what you're doing wrong rather than kissing up to you and complimenting you all the day. So keep reading my FR's and keep helping me out! I appreciate it!

1. I probably want to find a bit more about bantering because I find I often spend too much time in comfort and asking questions about her. Either that, or she's making me tell stuff about myself and not revealing anything about her. I'm just afraid too much comfort might make me slide into the friendship zone and I've got enough female friends for the moment.

2. LOL, yeah I do go over the top with romance. That's the part where sometimes I creep girls out. Probably I should stay away from that for a while.

3. Yes, this is probably my biggest weakness. And I'm trying my best to fix it. I let my mood take way too much control of me. I get overly ecstatic over a bit of success and really down when something fails. And I often focus too much attention on a single girl and I get jealous, possessive, and lovesick. And I pour too much of my feelings into a single girl and over-amplify it that I get hurt a lot (sometimes I even scare the girl away... ==" I.E. "Why haven't you called? I've been waiting for you all day".) Secluding myself from these kind of emotions and not letting them take control of me should be my main priority. This is probably my most dangerous weakness and should be my main priority and focus.

4. This is probably where I disagree just a tad bit and need to explain a few things. But I can see your point. While I do believe in myself, I do think that I'm attractive, I'm very confident that I do deserve only the best girls, in fact I believe I'm even qualified to dequalify a lot of girls, I do get suffer from lack of confidence but that's not because I think Asian guys are unattractive in general. There are plenty of good-looking Asian guys and amazing ones and we are smarter, faster, and just as if not sometimes even more athletic than other ethnicities (Most gold medals, Beijing olympics anyone?) and we're musically and artistically talented (tons of musicians, artists, novel writers, etc). I'm proud to be Asian and I think most people should be, too. I'm even surprised that there are a ton of qualified Asian guys that speak shit of themselves and devalue themselves and everything. We're an amazing race. We managed to populate over 1 billion people in the world for a reason. We have the strongest genes. And also, the east is on the rise, I can feel that on my bones. There will be a power shift and value, because China and Asia is going stronger while America and Europe is going downhill, past their golden age already while we're just on the start of the rise. So am I not confident because I'm Asian? No. I'm proud to be Asian.

My lack of confidence comes from me not believing in MYSELF not from ethnicity. I've dated a few too many girls that just became friends or failed attempts that led to a lot of mood swings (with my 2 past girlfriends, because I get jealous and way too possessive and focus way too much energy on a single girl) and that kind of made me feel bad about myself. I'm not afraid to state direct interest in her. Going up to stranger, whether it's a girl or a boy, however, can be daunting for beginners, which I admit I am, especially if this is not something you're used to, but with one or two exceptions, I do do it eventually. I think I'm already good looking and can even be extremely hot if I cut down on a few pounds and build up on my body, so yeah, going to the gym should be on my list of agendas.

5. Will do

Thanks again for the feedback.

1. Dont worry about too much about friend zone. When you go direct on a girl, there is no hiding of your intentions, so she knows you are attracted to her and want to date her. In the past, you didnt come across as aggressive and dominant to your female friends and didnt state your direct intentions right from the start, that's how you got in the friend zone. If you add on that you lacked a few gym hours to increase your passive attraction, then there was no way for your female friends to think about you as a romantic option. One hint: If you want a girl to be your GF/affair/FB/sexual partner, then treat her like this, not like a "buddy". tease the girls, talk with sexual undertone, be a bit political uncorrect, that will help.

2. You should save the romance theme for girls who are your GF for at least 6 months. Only those girls who showed you true quality over that time should DESERVE romance from you. Dont give out your romantic gift to any girl with boobs.

3. You see women as such high prize that you dont want to lose them, when you come close to them. A nice side effect of approaching girls is, that you get to know more and more girls, so every single girl is of less importance than in the past. Dont put too much importance on one single girl, you dont even know her yet. She shouldnt have such an impact on your mood, simply because she has not yet became a pillar of you life.

4. Put as much effort as you can in your passive attraction: clothes, haircut and workout. Additionally pay attention to your nutrition, it is even more important than workout. Stay away from obvious poor food choices! I can tell you that with your increased attraction your confidence in yourself will increase exponentially because you will get much better response from girls. That should be reward enough to watch for those choices what to eat, how much to exercise, how much to spend on fitted clothing and so on....

I wish you all the best and hope you stay determined with more and more sets! Good luck

No. Romance quotes like this may seem to work in the movies, but the humor.....which you're getting much better at, will do just fine. In the real world, romance stuff is corny, and will easily make women feel uneasy.

Your goal is to treat her like a little sister until she's qualified herself. Toy with topics, tease her, have fun.

Now that you're in the text phase, wait about 12-24 hours from your initial meet and send her your bait text.

BAIT TEXT: a witty, light and humorous message sent to invite a response, but not require one, AND remind the target that you're thinking of her.

Example intro bait text (by Gareth Jones): "Sexy dress, cute shoes, glowing smile..... but enough about how I looked last night... how is Sheela doing today?"

^^ways to be creative with that are just plugging in items of clothing/jewelry/etc. unique to what she was wearing when you send it. Then you get extra bonus points for remembering her outfit.

Another example by Gareth: "I just got done building you something. Google Taj Mahal. It should show up."

^^You can also take out Taj Mahal and replace it with a local landmark she would know.

I also recommend going to the ABC's Youtube page and watching the sample presentation Gareth made for his "iGame" course. There's 7 clips. Here's the link to Clip 1/7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZZVQNXZY2g&feature=channel_video_title


Perhaps check out Gareth's blog too: http://www.thegarethjones.com/


The gym, as well as any skill or hobby you learn, will help this issue. Men in general feel more confident when they feel they have a purpose. Similarly, elderly men in retirement homes lose their spirit, like the lion in the zoo. So do whatever you enjoy on the side and make sure you keep it a regular activity in your life, regardless of how frequent sarging becomes.

I really like this post Raigon! It helps me further reinforce my beliefs in direct approach during the day. I really liked how you kept the conversation going and manage to click on the topic of art. I feel an area that could be improved upon is being in the moment. From your posts on mine and other posts you've done, I can tell you are a very intelligent gent and tend to analyze in the moment. I noticed this when you said you were bracing yourself for her saying "I have a bf". I'm still working on my own inner voice to simmer down and not expect ANYTHING from the interaction. Right now, my mindset is "She cute, let me go see what she's like."

I also feel you on falling for a girl. Even some of the ones I approach I start thinking about if she was my gf and stuff. But the past few days has taught me you almost have to get past the point where you are willing to LOSE her. It's a zen concept for me to detach yourself from the outcome. If you don't expect anything, you can't really lose it now can you? =)

Cheers! Keep writing mate.

Oh wow, my FR's are getting really popular. I've decided to make this into a newsletter and make a weekly blog out of the Incredible Raigon. =D. Thanks for the input and feedback guys! Much appreciated.

@Picks: Yes, definitely! I will keep approaching and polish this section of me. My determination is pretty strong, so I don't have to worry about the fire in my belly dwindling off. Thanks for your encouragements and feedback, but now that you've got yourself involved this much with me, I may ask you to be my best man in my future wedding. And you don't have a choice in this matter - I will fly you all the way from Germany. But Jester can be my best man, cuz he's helped me out a LOT. =D

@The_Jester:

Yeah, romance is something I do go over the top with. Perhaps it's because I got my 2nd girlfriend with my romance and poetry skills that I tend to over-rely on that. And it creeps girls out and yes, tends to be a bit corny. So I should stay away from that until we're actually in a relationship, and even then refrain a bit, because even when refraining, the amount of romance I incorporate is already more than enough.

Yep, watched the seminar. Just sent her the text this evening. Gareth is a genius with text game. And actually, so are you. I just remembered your post regarding the shit test and I'm going to try that out if she gives me the "I'm too busy" excuse.

However, apparently it was the wrong day to text her, because she was at work but she did say I was too sweet and asked how my day was as well. I'll wait until tomorrow for her text. She seemed really busy if she took a bit over an hour to reply to my text. So, note to self - She works Thursday nights. I'll see if I can snatch a weekly schedule from her. Should I ask for her schedule of this weekend or next week? This late into the week, however most likely her weekend will be booked. What do you think?

Again, thanks for the feedback. You and Picks can fight to the death over who can be my best man in my future wedding.

@entropy571: Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, I just realized I was being a bit analytical in the moment. I should think less about what's going to happen, rather than what what my happen. Only time can tell, after all. Will change my mindset to a more "zen"-like method. Thanks for the advice! Much appreciated and yep, I will continue with my FR's.

Good luck with your approaches as well!

No, it's never the wrong day to text her. Doesn't matter what's she's doing. Texting gives her the freedom to reply whenever.

Just ask her when she's free during the next week or so. But, read this too: http://www.abcsofattraction.com/community/the-war-room-f34/date-planning-made-simple-t5924.html

Get used to waiting patiently for text replies. There's a lot of guys out there who's imaginations run wild and they fill in the blanks with negative assumptions just because the chick may be preoccupied. If that describes you, don't do it. Just fill in your time with other activities while you're waiting for her.

Horay for direct!

Now just keep doing it.

Mainly everything that has needed to be said has been said, so I will not repeat it.

I know you like to be scientific with this stuff, so I'm going to tell you this in the most logical way I can.

This approach works, so don't fix it. Direct game worked for you, so keep doing it. Yes, it takes more balls. Yes, it's more difficult at first, but YES it will make you more successful and weed out the girls that just want to be friends if you take an indirect approach.

I remember JT said that every Asian guy needs to learn direct game. Every Asian male has to have some proficiency, if not mastery, of direct game just because Asian guys are not seen as sexual beings. By going direct, we are immediately seen as a sexual being able to romance the pants off a girl.

Hope this helps.