open, escalate, extract

My 30 day mission is simply to attempt to open, escalate, and extract 5 times a day for the next thirty days.

Things to remember:
-extreme actions lead to extreme results
-what is extreme to me is normal to confident people
-it's better to fail strong than fail weak
-I already have all the skills I need

Behaviours to change:
-spend less time on the internet
-join some non-pick-up activities

First set: HB7blonde and HB7blonde

Open indirectly at the bar. Chat with them. Had attraction from the blonde immediately, had to win the brunette over with my banter. This was the only set I would have wanted to escalate with, but I didn't and I lost them quickly because some guys came over and pulled them away.

Me: Hey, when does this place get busy tonight?

Blonde: I don't know. We're not sticking around long tonight.

Me: Where are you guys going?

Blonde: blah blah blah

Brunette: This place will get busy tonight. I come here all the time. It's industry night. This is my weekend.

Me: This is your weekend?

Brunette: This is my Saturday. Trust me, it'll get busy. (not much of a positive vibe... seemed very subtley dismissive)

Me: Maybe I will. You look like you have an honest face. This girl looks like the troublemaker in the group. (They laugh and girl code each other -- first BT spike.)

Brunette: I'm the troublemaker, but you think I'm the good girl. I'm a great actress.

Me: Are you an actual actress?

Brunette: No.

Me: Too bad. I thought with the film festival and all...

Brunette: Sorry to disappoint you. I guess you would have asked for my autograph. (I didn't like that. Autograph seeking is low-value behaviour. She was good at being subtly destructive.)

Me: I was going to give you my autograph.

Brunette: blah blah blah (I forget what she says, but she realized that with the Toronto International Film Festival in town I might be someone with a bit of fame, but... with that subtle skill... she framed it so that if I was indeed famous I would be about to drop my own value for the floor by bragging about it in the form of handing out autographs. Crafty girl. A lot hung on my answer.)

Me: I wanted to be cockier than you.

Brunette: (busting up laughing) That will never happen!

Me: (to blonde) Can this girl live up to her hype?

The brunette was a little bit stunned that someone would dare to qualify her like that and was about to launch a feisty counter-offensive, but some guy came by, shot me dirty looks and dragged them away. The brunette tossed a, "Nice meeting you!" to me, but my interest was already elsewhere.

I did A and B well. My B was very subdued, it took awhile to establish my value with the brunette. When I'm a bit more warmed up I'll push-pull and qualify hard off the opener, slapping everyone in the face with the truth about who I am. Here I briefly let the brunette keep her misconceptions about me being like every other chode.

Never got to C. What I could have done was high five the blonde (my real target) and lock her in with BLP. Which, really, was one of my goals tonight.


Second set: mixed set outside, bouncer, hb6, hb7. Just a brief question to the bouncer about whether the patio was open. I didn't stay and run some great IVDs, but (in retrospect) my game has gotten good enough that I could have owned that encounter for awhile.

Third, fourth and fifth sets. Literally, there were maybe seven potential sets in the venue and I opened five of them. The last four were sixes and responded poorly to me. They didn't understand why a fun, confident guy like me was talking to them.

There were some hot sets on the street I could have opened... they were standing in line for a film festival function, but, realistically, my balls should be big enough that I could have opened and busted on them in a social manner. My skills sure are.

Walking to my car i tossed a casual, "nice boots" to a girl walking by. She smiled at me with a big, "Thank you!" and I realized how fucking adorable she was. I should have gone back and opened her. There was absolutely no excuse not to. My only real failed approach of the night.

Are you saying that you are trying to moved 5 different sets out of the bar/club every night? DUDE, this thread is going to be EPIC.

How are you going to extract 5 sets between the windows of 10-2? Are you going to hop from bar to bar? Where do you live anyways?

Where I used to live (GR, MI), there was only one or two places that would be busy during the week and only 2 good after-hours dinners in town. I do really want to hear your logistics on this.

lol no, my plan is to open and escalate with a minimum of five girls every night. Extraction will be a natural extension of an escalation that is going extremely well.

Okay, went out last night and discovered how dead the bar scene is during the Toronto International Film Festival.

I walked into the club and... literally... there were maybe four sets of girls. I wish I had gotten there fifteen minutes earlier because as I was arriving a smoking hot set of HB8s were leaving as I pulled up.

But, I was here to do some work.

I opened the first set of girls in the bar as soon as I walked in. Nothing much to write about here, brief convo. No escalation.

I opened a second set of girls on the patio. Brief convo, some banter and teasing.

There was only one or two sets of girls left in the entire place and only one set of attractive girls in the entire bar.

They were sitting down on the patio. Luckily, the patio formed a lip and I could sit right next to them with no discomfort. I watched a tall black dude approach them lamely then bail on the set.

I grabbed a drink from the bar and sat down next to them. "Hey, guys. I've got a few minutes until my friends get here so I thought I'd see if you were fun to talk to."

Girls: blah blah blah

Me: "well, if you turn out to be lame you'll see me leaving pretty quickly."

Girls: is that your friend over there?

(I look)

me: no, I have no idea who he is.

Girls: We thought he was your wingman.

Me: What's a wingman? Is that what I think it is?

And so began a 45 minute discussion of game, self-improvement, how I beat shyness, how she beat shyness, what I'm trying to accomplish in live, what she's trying to accomplish in life.

I didn't escalate with her or turn things sexual.

Excuses I gave myself were:

1. I'm not into her (which was true... she was an HB7.5, but very much a reserved grl. I'm not in a good girl phase right now), but she was fun to talk to and might make a good friend.

2. Physically it would have been awkward (lame excuse... if I really was intent on escalating, I would have stood her up and found some pretense to touch her).

3. The guys sitting across from them (but not talking to them), turned out to be with them. I thought they were just lame-asses who didn't have the guts to talk to them. I had a great convo with the girls, generally ignored the guys... and the girls were cool with this. HB7.5 kept pulling my attention back whenever it wandered to her friend.

I number closed, wished them a good night, went to check out the bar... but it was one in the morning and that really was (by far) the highest quality set in the (still empty) place. I called it a night.

I'm just getting ready to go out tonight... and one thing I'm realizing about last night is: I could have escalated with all three sets. It would blur the lines between sexual intent and just being a man who acts that way around women... which is a good thing... but it's like the chicken and the egg: it doesn't matter which one came first, as long as there is a first.

Hey man,

I know not many people have responded, but I am loving this thread so far - the verbal exchanges, and the self-assessment.

I know this is completely off topic, but I tend to think to extract more often if I clean my place before I leave to go out. Maybe you already do, but I figured I should throw that bit of insight out there.

thanks, man.

When we were at the bootcamp, you asked me if I was comfortable with my body because I don't really ever do kino. I was thinking about it and it's not a matter of comfort with myself, it's a matter of comfort with touch. The three ways I interact with people physically: no physical interaction; violence (martial arts); or foreplay. I have no casual/social physical contact in my arsenal... which is something I hope gets taken care of with my escalation goals.

If you saw me touching the black girl at the club on the final night of bootcamp, you saw me stroking her arms, stomach, back and thighs with my fingertips as we talked... it was basically foreplay. And that's really the only way i know how to touch women. There's a whole range of speeds between 0 and 60mph I need to discover.

Anyways... today was a failure... but not for a lack of trying.

I went to the club, pumped up and eager to meet some girls... but found that it was an exclusive film festival event. No entry. No girls. Me pissed off at the first failure in my 30 day plan.

I may have to count on getting my five on Thursday during the day game, because this will likely happen then, too.

Today I betrayed myself.

I went out to one of two clubs that are busy on a Wednesday. Not only is there the film festival, but there's a U2 concert tonight... and the club was dead. There were three sets of girls inside, but one of the sets had a hot blonde with big, fake breasts... which is what I would like to pull right now.

So I open her and her friend.

Me: "Hey, guys! You guys look adorable! I had to say hi!" (their reaction) "So what are you guys? Good girls? Bad girls? Boring girls? Adventurous girls? What do I have here?"

Them: "A little bit of both."

Here's where I lost them. I don't remember what I said, but I did a cold-read on them both that went poorly, I tried to cajole them into contributing to the convo. Finally they tried to freeze me out, but my frame was having none of that.

Me: "All right, I'll give you guys a second chance."

Brunette: "YOU'LL give US a second chance?"

Me: "Yeah. It took an incredible amount of balls and friendliness to come over and talk to you guys..."

Brunette: "It did. Good for you."

Me: "... and I'd had for you guys to turn out to be really lame. A lot of people in Toronto are..."

Brunette: "Bitches?"

Me: "No! They're sweethearts, but really socially awkward sometimes."

Blonde: "We're just having kind of a girls night out."

(I realize now she was trying to excuse the poor impression of them I had. I interpreted it, at the time, as her wanting me to leave. I didn't handle it well.)

Me: "Well, if you're trying to hint that you want me to leave, you'll have to say it more bluntly than that."

Brunette: "We want you to leave."

Me: "Okay. Have a good night."

So I left. I opened one more set... and then there was nothing, so I left to another club.

Thoughts on this interaction: I needed to bust on them, big time. I was reading a post JT wrote about how he successfully opened girls (sans negs) that had blown out Matador and his neg openers... and thinking about a comment he made during the bootcamp... so lately I've really toned down my disqualifiers when I open.

To poor results. The truth is, for whatever reason, my sets go badly if I don't disqualify. Thinking about it on the way home, I think it's because I do it in a way which doesn't lower their value, but spikes their BT. (Which is what was lacking from this set, though my frame perseverence did carry me for a bit with the blonde.) I would normally have said (though keep in mind this was my first set of the night and I wasn't flowing yet) that she (the blonde) was a troublemaker and I shouldn't be talking to her... she was totally the kind of girl my mom warned me about... that I'd have to marry her, but then divorce her because I could already tell she was lazy in bed....

Basically, I've gotten good at telling them they can't have me in very mutually enjoyable ways. And that's what was missing here, the BT spike. And for me, my best BT spikes are my versions of negs.

So lesson learned: bring back my negs, because they're actually enjoyable for everyone involved.

Now I was arriving at a club that I could normally never get into so late, but because the city was dead I walked right in. I was somewhat disappointed at fucking up the blonde set because right now I really want hot blondes with big fake tits and I'm finding them to be a rarity... so I walked around the second club and didn't see anyone like her, so I decided to leave and try again tomorrow.

Which was stupid because there were some really cute girls in the club. I could definitely have practised and escalated and so many things... but I was upset with myself.

I'm really hard on myself... the thought that I might never reach my goals makes me feel really horrible... and one of my goals is those high-end girls.

It wasn't until I was arriving home that I realized I should have stayed at the second club and kept gaming. I realized I betrayed myself and now feel pretty shitty.

Fuck. tonight... with me coming home when I shouldn't have... is going to bother me internally for awhile. It reminds me that part of me is still weak... and a quitter... and might never have what I want. I finished tonight living in my weakness, not my strength.