open, escalate, extract

Both very good points. Lately I've been reconsidering a lot of the venues I go to. I don't enjoy them the way I used to. I think I've changed, outgrown certain venues. I like the idea of writing down promoters, bouncers, etc.

As for physically being in the moment... I think that's exactly it. I need to incorporate those big actions you can get away with in a club, like picking a girl up in my arms.

I'm going to dissect (for my own benefit) two particular sets from last night.

Set #1 - three set of hotties: HB9, HB8, HB8buff.

I opened the set with "You guys look adorable! I had to say hi!" Then I asked them if they were fun, confident people. They weren't sure how to answer that (nobody is -- why do I keep asking it?), but the HB9 didn't hear what I said so I repeated it:

Me: "I want to know if you're fun people!"

HB9: "Of course we're fun! Are you fun!"

Me: "Hell yeah! I like your spirit! Give me five! (she fives me) You just got a big gold star!" (they laugh) "I'm going to take you home, wrap you up and save you for Christmas!" (she reacted poorly to this, I wasn't quite flowing in the moment, so I ignored her and turned to her friend, HB8.

Me: "You have the most.... quizzical eyes... I've ever seen!"

HB8 leans in: "Quizzical?"

Me: "Yeah! You should work for the FBI! You would be a wrecking machine in the interrogation room!"

She laughs, we exchange EC for a long moment.

Me: "Can you see my secrets?"

HB8: "Yeah!"

I hold a finger up to my lips, making a shhhhh face. She laughs and points at my eyes then motions at her eyes in a Mafia kind of way. I laugh.

Then I start chatting with HB8buff, at which point the set goes to hell because I stop gaming. HB8buff turns out to be a great person for me to network with in the film community, so I facebook close her. I'm still new to networking. Should I have just gamed her as normal, taken her down the structure into comfort, then started asking her for networking leads? I think I should have. I'd rather be a friend than someone who wants something from her.

Anyways, that's how that set went. I was doing a lot of casual touching (back, arms, 2 second back rub, etc), but not spiking their BT with kino.

Things I did right: approach/attract/attitude; be in the moment/verbal BT spikes + casual kino; I did a great job of spending some attraction time with all the girls, so I won them all over.

Things I should have done: taken HB8buff into comfort or, at the very least, not stop gaming the set; physical BT spikes (belly poking, feeling HB8buffs arms, picking up, dancing, hugging, etc.).


Second set:

HB8.5 black girl standing alone: I walk up behind her and kino turn, scaring the crap out of her. I laugh and say, "I'm a scary guy. (beat) You look adorable, I had to say hi." She absorbs this.

Me: "So how do you feel now that your heart's beating 1000 times a minute?"

Her: "It's not. That's the first time I ever heard that line before."

Me: "Which line?"

Her: "About my heart beating a thousand times."

Me: "It's the first time I've ever used it. Normally people aren't scared when I talk to them."

Her: "How do people react?"

Me: (pointing at my smile) "With a big one of these."

Her: (laughing) "Even when they're facing the wrong way?"

At this point I killed the interaction by falling out of the natural banter/chemistry we had and trying to force REALLY awkward game tactics into the conversation. What a fucking awkward blow out this was. I tried to persevere, but she pretty much asked me to leave about five minutes later. I still did some powerful things as I was going downhill, but to no avail.

I'm beginning to regard many of my past blow-outs as failures to live in the moment. This seems to be very much the case in many, many sets, but it's only becoming apparent now.

I kinod her casually many times: shoulder, arm, back.

I'm definitely becoming more comfortable with casual touching. Now I need to start working in big, BT kino.